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wulfgarw -> RE: A question for the ladies? (5/1/2011 6:11:37 PM)
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*snip*
quote:
ORIGINAL: strangedesire
"I'm worried I'm not going to like it" is a tough statement to pick apart without context. If she's had sex before, told him that she hated it, and he insists that he can make it great for her, she might say something like that to soften it - to avoid calling him a liar to his face.
Are you getting this information through him? She may have said outright that she wouldn't like it, and he may be misremembering.
*snip* *snip*
quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
In addition, it may be that she is not easily (or not at all) orgasmic. You don't mention her age, what medications she's on, birth control etc. All of these can conspire to make orgasm impossible. If so, then it would be necessary to deal with that problem first.
It isn't uncommon for women under 30 to be unable to orgasm. Sometimes they can orgasm alone on occasion but other times not at all. Birth control can make orgasm easier or prevent it.
*snip*
Thank you all on your thoughts and opinions.
To start off, I'm getting this info both from him and her. The worried quotation is from her directly, and the boredom thing is from him.
She is a 22 yo on meds for asthma, including an inhaler, a allergy med (Singulaire) another allergy med and a ?lowjesterol? BC pill that her Dr told her to skip the blanks for two months before taking blanks on the 3rd. No other known ailments. She used to have a high libido, but that almost totally disappeared a long time ago, before a switch to a new bc pill. She can orgasm, cause she's told me so. He tells me he just keeps coming up with reasons not to have sex, even though he has seen evidence of masturbating, eg vibe moved around, literotica in her browser cache, ect. Sexual abuse in the past is unknown.
The conversation that started it all, as I piece it together, is he came up to her and started touching and all. She let him, and then walked away. He followed, asking why she doesn't like to do anything anymore, even though they've never had sex. ( Sex history as being 2 blowjobs and numerous pussy eating sessions, as well as several BDSM sessions in which she told him she wanted, then was disengaged during. (Neither were virgins going into this relationship) She told him the she 'was worried if she was going to like it, and 'It's an acquired taste for women, unlike guys' Ever since, it has been one promise after another, "We'll do it after finals are over", or "I missed a pill so we need to wait a month" after which she keeps putting him off with another reason or excuse.
He's wondering if it's true, the 'acquired taste' explanation, or if she's just using him to pay for dinner outings and not really into him, waiting until she finds someone else. He is, I think understandably, tired of it. She tells me she likes him, and to speak to her, everything is peachy, including to say they never argue, while he says she gets mad at him all the time for the most trivial of things.
So armed with this history and context, How should I advise them? He says he would have left long ago, but he he keeps giving her more chances. Should he leave her? Is she just stringing him along?
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