In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive?

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In reality, how would you know if a female is submissive? - 5/7/2011 9:02:34 PM

ramzaruglia

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Just want to ask this question, because I'm really not good at socializing. And if you're talking to a woman, how would you know that she's submissive or not? Are there any signs to look on? Facial expression?

Kindly help thanks...

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/7/2011 9:08:09 PM

littlewonder

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only way you're gonna know is to talk to her. If she likes you and finds that you really are a dominant personality then she'll let you take the lead.

Or you could just ask her.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/7/2011 10:20:40 PM

NocturnalStalker

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/7/2011 10:48:24 PM

Awareness

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If you're a Dom, it's irrelevant. A woman either responds well to you or she doesn't. Whether she's self-identified as a sub or has no idea, the fundamentals of most hetero women pretty much guarantee they respond to dominant male strength. You'll bump into exceptions, but just shrug and move on.

However if you're looking for the fulfillment of some hentai-induced fantasies, you may have a problem. You're not coming into the interaction with much more to offer than the desire, so I suspect you'll have trouble luring in the kind of sub you want.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 12:32:32 AM

HannahLynHeather

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quote:

the fundamentals of most hetero women pretty much guarantee they respond to dominant male strength.

oh god dude, do you ever stop and read the stuff you post before clicking OK. i realize that you don't have a lot of real world experience with women, but surely you know a little bit about them.

hannah lynn

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 1:17:35 AM

OwnedFemaleFlesh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Whether she's self-identified as a sub or has no idea, the fundamentals of most hetero women pretty much guarantee they respond to dominant male strength. You'll bump into exceptions, but just shrug and move on.

I really don't think this is true. A great many submissives will 'test' or challenge a known Dom just to show him that he's not in charge (unless he is their Dom). Some of the most Dominant men I know are very softly spoken and deferential in public, and willing to let women take the lead so as to appear non threatening / pushy to her. In most vanilla relationships I know, it is the women who wear the trousers. Macho, overbearing men are more annoying than appealing.

As regards knowing whether a woman is submissive, you'd just have to ask her, there are no short cuts. Besides whether or not she identifies as submissive, you'd need to know whether she was willing to be submissive to you, which is not guaranteed.

owned xxx

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 1:41:20 AM

ResidentSadist

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If she obeys. It's pretty simple really.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 1:59:35 AM

Awareness

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Shhh. Men talking.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 2:10:39 AM

Awareness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedFemaleFlesh
I really don't think this is true. A great many submissives will 'test' or challenge a known Dom just to show him that he's not in charge (unless he is their Dom). Some of the most Dominant men I know are very softly spoken and deferential in public, and willing to let women take the lead so as to appear non threatening / pushy to her.

A 'known' Dom?

You're either not understanding the question or not understanding the answer I gave. In the context given, he doesn't know if she's a sub and presumably she has no idea he's a Dom. So we're talking about a social situation, not some ludicrous BDSM theatre.

Second, my answer simply states that if he's a Dom, she'll naturally respond to him. It's not like he's supposed to flick the Dom switch and all of a sudden assume an extra set of behaviours. Most normal, healthy hetero women respond to dominant men. Period. The ones who don't aren't worth worrying about, but they're outliers anyway and nobody can reasonably expect or hope to bring every single personality type into their orbit.

quote:

In most vanilla relationships I know, it is the women who wear the trousers. Macho, overbearing men are more annoying than appealing.

I'm not exactly sure what point you're trying to make here.

quote:

As regards knowing whether a woman is submissive, you'd just have to ask her, there are no short cuts. Besides whether or not she identifies as submissive, you'd need to know whether she was willing to be submissive to you, which is not guaranteed.

Oh bollocks. Sometimes they don't even know if they're submissive. And you don't "find out" if a woman wants to 'submit to you' by asking. How fucking lame. If a man wants a woman, it's his task to seduce her. End of story. He either succeeds or fails.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 2:28:51 AM

myotherself

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~fast reply~

OP - I would talk to her. Seriously. Just talk to her.

Submission for some women (including me) is not something we do for any dominant personality. In my work life I am seriously dominant. I don't take crap, and I will argue the toss to the nth degree if I know (or think) I am right.

I go to munches and clubs with some wonderful dominant men and women. Do I submit to them? No. Simply because their dominance does not inspire submission in me. There's nothing wrong with their dominance - they have relationships with submissives that are beautiful to behold in their complementary skills and desires.

But the first moment I met Master, I knew I could submit to him. I didn't straight away because I needed to make sure he was the right person for me, not just the right dominant. That was really hard, because I really wanted to submit. Now that I know...well, it goes beyond submission and is hurtling headfirst into slavery.

But only with him.

OP - you can't know if she is the right submissive for you, or will ever be submissive to you, if you don't talk to her.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 4:18:52 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ramzaruglia

Just want to ask this question, because I'm really not good at socializing. And if you're talking to a woman, how would you know that she's submissive or not? Are there any signs to look on? Facial expression?

One of my signature lines at social get-togethers with friends was to tell the women to keep it down because the men were talking. Doesn't tell you who's submissive but it sure eliminates a shit load of feminist types from the list of possibilities. Good job looks really can't kill, too....

Seriously, what you're looking for is a dynamic. That is, not how she looks herself so much as how she reacts to your dominant self. You get your cues from a sub's eyes - they're different to those of some feminist nazi; VERY different...!

Focus.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 4:24:30 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

Submission for some women (including me) is not something we do for any dominant personality. In my work life I am seriously dominant. I don't take crap, and I will argue the toss to the nth degree if I know (or think) I am right.

Me too.

quote:

But the first moment I met Master, I knew I could submit to him. I didn't straight away because I needed to make sure he was the right person for me, not just the right dominant.

I imagine this will be true for me as well.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 4:57:53 AM

DarkSteven

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Talking to her is one way. Another is to try little things like, when you give her a kiss, gently pulling some of her hair. Or a gentle but firm swat on the rump.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 5:41:19 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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There are many ways to define submissive. Some are submissive in personality, which means compliant and agreeable to most everyone. Some are submissive sexually, which means only in the bedroom, the rest of the relationship is vanilla. Some are submissive only to a particular individual who floats their "I like dominance" boat. Since all these types overlap, there are many different ways to define submission.

Which kind are you looking for? Since you are new to this, you may not know (which is fine, life is a journey of discovery).

Although I applaud your wanting to take things from your hentai fantasies to reality, statements like this: "I am hoping to satisfy my craving for having someone to punish around when I'm in the mood to, and wanted to be served" serve to show your ignorance and lack of experience.

I suggest adding some non-fiction (non-porn) to that BDSM book collection.

BTW: WTF is a "theoretical" dom?

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 5:42:02 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
Second, my answer simply states that if he's a Dom, she'll naturally respond to him.

Wrong, wrong and wrong.

Ten different submissive women and ten men with dominant characteristics. Sub A may respond to dom B and G but none of the others. Doms C and F won't feel dominant towards subs D and E. And so on.

I'm submissive but that doesn't mean I'm going to feel any dominant energy from 99% of the dominant men hear, you being a perfect example of men I would not submit to. Doesn't mean I'm not submissive, just that I'm not submissive to you.

OP, you have to be the kind of man that the kind of woman you're looking for is looking for. Judging by your profile, you aren't.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 5:52:44 AM

Kana

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If she wants to drive the car, she most likely isn't....:-)

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 6:01:24 AM

BurntKitty

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First off, you might want to fix the weight on your profile. 48lbs doesn't inspire submission. It may inspire dinner, though.

Easiest way to spot a submissive woman? Go to a munch. The organizers can introduce you around to them.

Edited for spelling. Serious lack of caffeine in my system....

< Message edited by BurntKitty -- 5/8/2011 6:02:17 AM >

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 6:29:57 AM

ChatteParfaitt

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from Awareness:

quote:

. . . my answer simply states that if he's a Dom, she'll naturally respond to him.

A person who is naturally submissive in personality might respond to him. Surely there must be some sexual spark?

I get that the super domly type testosterone based life forms such as yourself are attracted to the naturally submissive personality in an opposites attract kind of way. But doesn't that get boring after awhile? Don't you get tired of your sub never challenging you about anything? It seems too much like having a relationship with a robot or a kewpie doll. Obedient they may be, but I've found that a sub who always has to be compliant and obedient is merely playing a role; dig deep enough and you unleash a fountain of anger and resentment (towards the dom.)

Just my observations, YMMV.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 6:34:45 AM

littlewonder

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quote:

but I've found that a sub who always has to be compliant and obedient is merely playing a role; dig deep enough and you unleash a fountain of anger and resentment (towards the dom.)

really? I'm glad that's not our experience.

playing a role? Hardly. In our relationship and my relationship with anyone for that matter, I'm obedient and compliant because I absolutely hate challenges. I absolutely hate chaos or anger or trouble of any kind at all. Anytime there's conflict in my life or even around me I'm the first to look for a hole to duck into so I can disappear.

No anger and resentment here. Instead I thrive on obedience and compliance. The whole idea of not being those just makes me shudder with fear.

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RE: In reality, how would you know if a female is submi... - 5/8/2011 6:51:00 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

quote:

the fundamentals of most hetero women pretty much guarantee they respond to dominant male strength.
oh god dude, do you ever stop and read the stuff you post before clicking OK. i realize that you don't have a lot of real world experience with women, but surely you know a little bit about them.

hannah lynn

Thanks for saving me the keystrokes. Love the sweeping generalization.

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