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xssve -> RE: A sub's feelings - is she allowed to have them? (5/21/2011 8:54:27 AM)
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Anyway semisweet, I just didn't want to jump on the "dump him"bandwagon, it's all over apparently, I missed that post, sounds like you made the right choice, but I did want to complete my thought for the sake of posterity - there are two major ethics you'll find here, one being sort of, "the dom is the dom, and they sub is just an object to be manipulated at his whim", i.e., one sided, and the other recognizes a more realistic balanced, approach - some dom/mes think taking the subs feelings into account in any way, is less domly, they're being topped from the bottom, etc., but these aren't the definitive "Dom/me" they're control freaks who happen to be Dominants, and there's usually some sub that can live with that, but don't mistake it for a definitive description of the power exchange dynamic in macrocosm.
For myself, the analogy is more like music - I liken the sub to a musical instrument: not too many people can just pick up a violin and start playing it, you have to know some music theory, but that alone isn't enough, you also have to learn the instrument - you just pick it up and start sawin' on it, you're just gonna make noise.
To extend the metaphor, in the case of the submissive, a Master should be able take a set of bongos and turn it into a Stradivarius, and vice versa perhaps, but it shouldn't be because all he knows to do with a Stradivarius is to beat on it.
'Course, I have a little bit of a Svengali complex, does it show?
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