RE: Happiness for other people

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NuevaVida -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/14/2011 9:48:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ I think too often though we don't trust happiness and just wait for the other shoe to drop. I think when people wait for the other shoe to drop, it will. Our thoughts create a path for where our lives go, for the most part. When you continually ask, "What ELSE can go wrong?" you'll find out. When you start looking at the possibilities of things going right, they do. I have this Daily Calendar ("Messages from the Universe") and there was a quote on there the other day which I just loved: "In time and space, if you just look for what's right - in others, in relationships, in yourself, and in your journey - - you will always find it. Same when looking for what's wrong."

agirl -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/14/2011 10:02:17 AM)
I'm pleased when upbeat things happen for M, my children, my darling grandies and people that I know and like, but other than that I can't say I feel much at all. It takes quite a lot for me to feel anything in regards to people that I'm not personally involved with. I certainly don't feel anything approaching thrilled. .....though I can run as far as a that's nice on occasion :) agirl

LinnaeaBorealis -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/14/2011 6:40:45 PM)
I can be just as happy for others as I would be for myself when something wonderful happens. My sister's fairly well-off & she gets to go to these really cool places & do wondrous things that I know that I will only experience through her or in a book. When she calls me to tell me she's off to Machu Pichu & the Galapagos a couple of months after returning from a trip to Africa, I am just thrilled for her! If someone else told me that they got to do something really fun or that they've met a potential lover, I'm thrilled for them. Even if I'm going through a horrible breakup myownself. Happiness is truly infectious in my world. I love that people I know get to have fun & happiness in their lives. I hate it when bad things happen. To anyone. Which is why I avoid the news media in most forms. Negativity begets negativity & the opposite also holds true. I will be there to listen to people who I care about when bad things happen & I will empathize with them. But I much prefer that good things happen. Some of you are saying that this has changed for you as you've gotten older, that when you were younger you had those feelings of jealousy when something good happened to someone else. I don't remember having those feelings even when I was young. I never had that strong a desire to have more or be more. I was no good at competitive sports either. I'd be playing & if someone on the other side made a great play, I'd stop to cheer them. LOL So when someone I know, even if only on the boards, meets a new person & they get all swoony, I encourage them!! If it doesn't work out, at least they took the chance that it might. And for that I'm ecstatic. Taking risks can be very scary & it takes great courage to just go for it sometimes.

needlesandpins -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/15/2011 5:33:24 AM)
fr i'm happy for other's when they have things going well for them. there are times though when some people who have stuff that should be making them happy still whinge that it's not enough. at those times i could happily smack them. needles

DesFIP -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/15/2011 2:52:25 PM)
Needles, you don't get to define happiness for others. If for you, a salary of X would be enough, that's great. But if someone else craves marriage and children instead, then you have no right to tell them they can't be unhappy because they have what you want. We all define happiness for ourselves. I want that all my loved ones have happy and peaceful lives. But much of this is selfish. If they're unhappy, then their stress will infect me. And frankly, I'm jittery enough to begin with that I don't need them making me worse.

NuevaVida -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/15/2011 3:00:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins there are times though when some people who have stuff that should be making them happy still whinge that it's not enough. at those times i could happily smack them. needles I don't think "stuff" makes a person happy. Someone can have all the "stuff" in the world, yet feel they are living an empty life. That same person may be trying like mad to find fulfillment and still hasn't reached it yet.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/15/2011 3:35:29 PM)
This reminds me of the saying - Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have. best, sunshine

pyroaquatic -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/15/2011 4:36:48 PM)
When I have a thing and I can't see my self letting go of it I let go of it despite the amount of love I have for said thing. Usually I give it to someone who loves the thing just as much as I do. For example I recently parted with a Frog Night Light (filled me with joy and the room with luminescence) to my friends children because they love Frogs and the Banishment of Darkness. I found myself attached and I had to give it away. My happiness is nice but with the way I am it is consistently fleeting. I'd rather have other people retain their happiness. In times where I feel low and dusty it is pleasant to receive a happiness infusion from those that I have given joy to.

needlesandpins -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/16/2011 2:04:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Needles, you don't get to define happiness for others. If for you, a salary of X would be enough, that's great. But if someone else craves marriage and children instead, then you have no right to tell them they can't be unhappy because they have what you want. We all define happiness for ourselves. I want that all my loved ones have happy and peaceful lives. But much of this is selfish. If they're unhappy, then their stress will infect me. And frankly, I'm jittery enough to begin with that I don't need them making me worse. ok i must really be missing something here. so please show me exactly where i did that. because i don't see where i said i was telling anyone what should make them happy. a question was asked, and like everyone else i've given MY thoughts. MY thoughts are that some people are never happy no matter what they have in their lives, be that people or 'stuff'. i do not have to feel good around those people, and i will sometimes want to slap them. i never said that i tell them they should be happy with what they have or gave them my opinion in any way. you don't like that well cool, no-one said you had to. now if you have never had someone complain to you about not being happy with their life and you've never thought that they should maybe be taking a bit better stock of what they do have, and being a bit more greatful for it, then that is fantastic for you. truely i'm very happy for you. but i have had that and i'm stating it. so there you go. needles

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/16/2011 2:29:40 AM)
Other people's happiness is a good thing. I love to see people happy. [8D] quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins i don't see where i said i was telling anyone what should make them happy. quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins ... some people who have stuff that should be making them happy... Does that answer your question?

needlesandpins -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/16/2011 3:22:22 AM)
no not really. there are alot of things they already have that should be making them happy already but they are never satisfied. they are always unhappy with what they have. as in it doesn't matter what or how much they have they are never happy. i'm never said what those things, people, money, pets or anything should or could be. they are just not happy people. i have things and people, pets and such in my life that make me very happy. i'd like more money if it came along or i could be earning it. i have far less money now than i used to have. but i'm not going to whinge about it to anyone and most certainly not to someone who is struggling more than i am. also if the things i have in life were coming to me with the help of others, i wouldn't then bitch about those people when i'm not getting exactly what i want from them. some adults still act like spoilt children when they bang on about the things they think will make them happy. when in actual fact it's never enough no matter what that it. it's the attitude that i don't like. it's selfish and ungreatful. if you are that type of person, great for you, but don't bitch to me about it because i probably have alot less in my life but what i have makes me happy. it's about taking stock of what IS in your life. knowing that actually things could be a hell of alot worse and for a great deal of people, probably are. i don't like selfish, ungreatful people. i don't have to, no matter what they do or don't have in their life. i never said people who have blah blah blah should be happy. it's about context at the time, situation and who it is. so a person has health, money, a good family, lots of friends, the trinkets they want, a good support system of people around them and so on and so on. they should be happy, but they are not. they have so much already, in whatever degree or whatever it is, but it's never enough. those sorts or people frustrate me because they are acting like spoilt brats. i do have the right to not like that sort of person, no matter what the rest of you think. i'm still not saying what should make a person happy, just that what they have is their choice and some have what they do because of the people around them. if they are not greatful for that and bitch to me i won't like it. needles

sunshinemiss -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/16/2011 5:46:01 AM)
Sunnny Quote of the Day goes to pyroaquatic [sm=goodnight.gif] for I recently parted with a Frog Night Light ... to my friends children because they love Frogs and the Banishment of Darkness... http://www.collarchat.com/m_3672652/mpage_2/tm.htm#3675789

sunshinemiss -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/16/2011 7:26:36 AM)
~FR~ The happiest people I've ever met have been people who are dying. I've envied them the peace they eventually find (if they live long enough). sunshine

NuevaVida -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/16/2011 9:17:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss ~FR~ The happiest people I've ever met have been people who are dying. I've envied them the peace they eventually find (if they live long enough). sunshine Hours before my Dad died, he was lying there, in and out of consciousness, and had this big smile on his face. At one point he opened his eyes and said "It's so peaceful now. So much love!" It was one of my more beautiful moments with him, and I'm so grateful to have shared that with him.

needlesandpins -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/16/2011 10:28:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss ~FR~ The happiest people I've ever met have been people who are dying. I've envied them the peace they eventually find (if they live long enough). sunshine Hours before my Dad died, he was lying there, in and out of consciousness, and had this big smile on his face. At one point he opened his eyes and said "It's so peaceful now. So much love!" It was one of my more beautiful moments with him, and I'm so grateful to have shared that with him. now this made me smile. there is alot of death, and people waiting to die in my job. the sad truth is is that very often there is no-one from their family with them when they finally pass. we as carers take the place of their family but i doubt it's the same. it's always so much better when they have family members there with them and i'm glad it was like it was for you and your dad. needles

LaTigresse -> RE: Happiness for other people (5/16/2011 12:25:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss This reminds me of the saying - Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have. best, sunshine I think THIS should be a Sunshine 'Quote of the Day'!!!!!!!

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