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RE: Happiness for other people - 5/14/2011 9:48:36 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

I think too often though we don't trust happiness and just wait for the other shoe to drop.



I think when people wait for the other shoe to drop, it will.  Our thoughts create a path for where our lives go, for the most part.  When you continually ask, "What ELSE can go wrong?" you'll find out.  When you start looking at the possibilities of things going right, they do.

I have this Daily Calendar ("Messages from the Universe") and there was a quote on there the other day which I just loved:


"In time and space, if you just look for what's right - in others, in relationships, in yourself, and in your journey - - you will always find it. Same when looking for what's wrong."


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/14/2011 10:02:17 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		 I'm pleased when upbeat things happen for M, my children, my darling grandies and people that I know and like, but other than that I can't say I feel much at all.

It takes quite a lot for me to *feel* anything in regards to people that I'm not personally involved with. I certainly don't feel anything approaching *thrilled*. .....though I can run as far as a *that's nice* on occasion :)

agirl



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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/14/2011 6:40:45 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		I can be just as happy for others as I would be for myself when something wonderful happens. My sister's fairly well-off & she gets to go to these really cool places & do wondrous things that I know that I will only experience through her or in a book. When she calls me to tell me she's off to Machu Pichu & the Galapagos a couple of months after returning from a trip to Africa, I am just thrilled for her! If someone else told me that they got to do something really fun or that they've met a potential lover, I'm thrilled for them. Even if I'm going through a horrible breakup myownself.

Happiness is truly infectious in my world. I love that people I know get to have fun & happiness in their lives. I hate it when bad things happen. To anyone. Which is why I avoid the news media in most forms. Negativity begets negativity & the opposite also holds true. I will be there to listen to people who I care about when bad things happen & I will empathize with them. But I much prefer that good things happen.

Some of you are saying that this has changed for you as you've gotten older, that when you were younger you had those feelings of jealousy when something good happened to someone else. I don't remember having those feelings even when I was young. I never had that strong a desire to have more or be more. I was no good at competitive sports either. I'd be playing & if someone on the other side made a great play, I'd stop to cheer them. LOL

So when someone I know, even if only on the boards, meets a new person & they get all swoony, I encourage them!! If it doesn't work out, at least they took the chance that it might. And for that I'm ecstatic. Taking risks can be very scary & it takes great courage to just go for it sometimes.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/15/2011 5:33:24 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		fr

i'm happy for other's when they have things going well for them.

there are times though when some people who have stuff that should be making them happy still whinge that it's not enough. at those times i could happily smack them.

needles

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/15/2011 2:52:25 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Needles, you don't get to define happiness for others. If for you, a salary of X would be enough, that's great. But if someone else craves marriage and children instead, then you have no right to tell them they can't be unhappy because they have what you want.

We all define happiness for ourselves.

I want that all my loved ones have happy and peaceful lives. But much of this is selfish. If they're unhappy, then their stress will infect me. And frankly, I'm jittery enough to begin with that I don't need them making me worse.


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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/15/2011 3:00:16 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

there are times though when some people who have stuff that should be making them happy still whinge that it's not enough. at those times i could happily smack them.

needles


I don't think "stuff" makes a person happy.  Someone can have all the "stuff" in the world, yet feel they are living an empty life.  That same person may be trying like mad to find fulfillment and still hasn't reached it yet.




_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/15/2011 3:35:29 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		This reminds me of the saying -

Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have.

best,
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 5/15/2011 4:11:04 PM >

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/15/2011 4:36:48 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		When I have a thing and I can't see my self letting go of it I let go of it despite the amount of love I have for said thing. Usually I give it to someone who loves the thing just as much as I do.

For example I recently parted with a Frog Night Light (filled me with joy and the room with luminescence) to my friends children because they love Frogs and the Banishment of Darkness. I found myself attached and I had to give it away.

My happiness is nice but with the way I am it is consistently fleeting. I'd rather have other people retain their happiness. In times where I feel low and dusty it is pleasant to receive a happiness infusion from those that I have given joy to.


_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/16/2011 2:04:01 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Needles, you don't get to define happiness for others. If for you, a salary of X would be enough, that's great. But if someone else craves marriage and children instead, then you have no right to tell them they can't be unhappy because they have what you want.

We all define happiness for ourselves.

I want that all my loved ones have happy and peaceful lives. But much of this is selfish. If they're unhappy, then their stress will infect me. And frankly, I'm jittery enough to begin with that I don't need them making me worse.



ok i must really be missing something here. so please show me exactly where i did that. because i don't see where i said i was telling anyone what should make them happy.

a question was asked, and like everyone else i've given MY thoughts. MY thoughts are that some people are never happy no matter what they have in their lives, be that people or 'stuff'. i do not have to feel good around those people, and i will sometimes want to slap them. i never said that i tell them they should be happy with what they have or gave them my opinion in any way. you don't like that well cool, no-one said you had to. now if you have never had someone complain to you about not being happy with their life and you've never thought that they should maybe be taking a bit better stock of what they do have, and being a bit more greatful for it, then that is fantastic for you. truely i'm very happy for you. but i have had that and i'm stating it. so there you go.

needles

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/16/2011 2:29:40 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		Other people's happiness is a good thing. I love to see people happy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins

i don't see where i said i was telling anyone what should make them happy.


quote:

ORIGINAL: needlesandpins
... some people who have stuff that should be making them happy...


Does that answer your question?

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(in reply to needlesandpins)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/16/2011 3:22:22 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		no not really. there are alot of things they already have that should be making them happy already but they are never satisfied. they are always unhappy with what they have. as in it doesn't matter what or how much they have they are never happy. i'm never said what those things, people, money, pets or anything should or could be. they are just not happy people.

i have things and people, pets and such in my life that make me very happy. i'd like more money if it came along or i could be earning it. i have far less money now than i used to have. but i'm not going to whinge about it to anyone and most certainly not to someone who is struggling more than i am. also if the things i have in life were coming to me with the help of others, i wouldn't then bitch about those people when i'm not getting exactly what i want from them. some adults still act like spoilt children when they bang on about the things they think will make them happy. when in actual fact it's never enough no matter what that it. it's the attitude that i don't like. it's selfish and ungreatful. if you are that type of person, great for you, but don't bitch to me about it because i probably have alot less in my life but what i have makes me happy. it's about taking stock of what IS in your life. knowing that actually things could be a hell of alot worse and for a great deal of people, probably are. i don't like selfish, ungreatful people. i don't have to, no matter what they do or don't have in their life.

i never said people who have blah blah blah should be happy. it's about context at the time, situation and who it is. so a person has health, money, a good family, lots of friends, the trinkets they want, a good support system of people around them and so on and so on. they should be happy, but they are not. they have so much already, in whatever degree or whatever it is, but it's never enough. those sorts or people frustrate me because they are acting like spoilt brats. i do have the right to not like that sort of person, no matter what the rest of you think.

i'm still not saying what should make a person happy, just that what they have is their choice and some have what they do because of the people around them. if they are not greatful for that and bitch to me i won't like it.

needles

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/16/2011 5:46:01 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Sunnny
Quote of the Day
goes to
pyroaquatic

for
I recently parted with a Frog Night Light ...
to my friends children because they love
Frogs and the Banishment of Darkness...

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3672652/mpage_2/tm.htm#3675789

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/16/2011 7:26:36 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		~FR~
The happiest people I've ever met have been people who are dying. I've envied them the peace they eventually find (if they live long enough).

sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/16/2011 9:17:09 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

~FR~
The happiest people I've ever met have been people who are dying. I've envied them the peace they eventually find (if they live long enough).

sunshine


Hours before my Dad died, he was lying there, in and out of consciousness, and had this big smile on his face. At one point he opened his eyes and said "It's so peaceful now.  So much love!" 

It was one of my more beautiful moments with him, and I'm so grateful to have shared that with him. 


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/16/2011 10:28:25 AM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

~FR~
The happiest people I've ever met have been people who are dying. I've envied them the peace they eventually find (if they live long enough).

sunshine


Hours before my Dad died, he was lying there, in and out of consciousness, and had this big smile on his face. At one point he opened his eyes and said "It's so peaceful now.  So much love!" 

It was one of my more beautiful moments with him, and I'm so grateful to have shared that with him. 



now this made me smile.

there is alot of death, and people waiting to die in my job. the sad truth is is that very often there is no-one from their family with them when they finally pass. we as carers take the place of their family but i doubt it's the same. it's always so much better when they have family members there with them and i'm glad it was like it was for you and your dad.

needles

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Happiness for other people - 5/16/2011 12:25:01 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

This reminds me of the saying -

Happiness isn't having what you want, it's wanting what you have.

best,
sunshine


I think THIS should be a Sunshine 'Quote of the Day'!!!!!!!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 36
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