Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone without them knowing it?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone without them knowing it? Page: <<   < prev  7 8 9 [10] 11   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/20/2011 4:05:10 PM   
Cuffkinks


Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Fuck me, I forgot - ALL THE OSMOND BROTHERS!!!!



I'm glad you left out Marie. She's mine!

_____________________________

Resident "11"

"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92

"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 181
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/20/2011 4:19:29 PM   
popularDemand


Posts: 228
Status: offline
if it's unethical, I may have a problem.

If it's immoral.... I'm all over it!

pD

(in reply to Cuffkinks)
Profile   Post #: 182
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/20/2011 5:35:28 PM   
marsneedswomen


Posts: 98
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha





Do you believe you need to get consent from someone before you take sexual gratification on their behalf, even if they are totally unaware of it?

Akasha


How would one phrase a question to get their consent "Do you mind if I masturbate to your voice?"

mnw

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 183
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/20/2011 5:54:38 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuffkinks


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Fuck me, I forgot - ALL THE OSMOND BROTHERS!!!!



I'm glad you left out Marie. She's mine!


Anything for you, you manly man!


< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 5/20/2011 6:15:54 PM >


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Cuffkinks)
Profile   Post #: 184
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/20/2011 6:25:17 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

After all, your profile boasts about how you believe it's great doing just that.
Oddly enough, I just spent a good while perusing his profile, and there is nothing of the sort on there.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!


Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 185
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/20/2011 6:46:05 PM   
TheCabal


Posts: 291
Joined: 9/3/2005
From: Lots of different places
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Oddly enough, I just spent a good while perusing his profile, and there is nothing of the sort on there.


It's in the mental part of my profile.  With my other thought-crimes. 

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 186
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/20/2011 7:17:49 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

If picturing Sam Elliot while masturbating is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
I'm imaging something along these lines.....




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!


Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to JstAnotherSub)
Profile   Post #: 187
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/21/2011 5:24:22 AM   
SirJ40


Posts: 164
Joined: 12/21/2008
Status: offline
When I told tala that she'd long been the object of my thoughts, she was flattered. Then again, she's a kinky bitch. Some others might be offended, however, what happens inside my head is not subject to the opinion of others..  or their scrutiny, thank goodness! If they could see what went on in here, I'd be locked up very very far away from the rest of humanity 

_____________________________

Make your own decisions, and own the decisions you make.

(in reply to Marc2b)
Profile   Post #: 188
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/23/2011 3:32:06 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

The comments have been interesting, especially when people assume genders and their answers are based on the gender....

But anyway - there's obviously a line to be drawn for a lot of people. And where it gets fuzzy, I think, is when person A can become sexually aroused by acts or things that are non sexual to an observer. That said, Person A could technically be "using" or "manipulating" someone for their sexual pleasure (maybe steering conversation, or steering actions, for example) and never be caught or be accountable for their actions.

If you switch it into a more common way person A may use person B for sexual gratification that is more OBVIOUS, it's something like "frotteurism" - but again, I suppose a man (or woman) could sexually arouse themselves by brushing against someone and if that person *never knew that it happened* is it still wrong? I think most people say absolutely. I have no knowledge of frotteurism and am not aware of the paraphillia enough to know if the person doing it only gets sexual gratification if there is risk they are getting caught and if the victim is unsuspecting. How is the guy who is brushing against a woman on a subway and getting an erection on purpose any different from the guy touching/feeling a woman's feet as a shoesalesman, getting an erection, and then later fantasizing about it?

When I look at my own fetishes, some of them are obscure, and germane enough that I don't think a man would suspect that a situation or conversation was *sexually arousing* to me unless I admitted this to him. Based on my own ethics, I find that if this is happening, I am obligated to inform the other person, or end the situation. If I were a man with a foot fetish, I would not work at a shoe store.

In the gay m/m fetish community, tickling is a pretty common theme, as well as men's feet and feet in socks/dirty socks. I see a lot of "amateur" video done by college aged men and I suspect that some of these men created these videos (for money or gifts) and may have had NO idea that these videos were done for *sexual arousal* purposes. Of course, there's no nudity, no genitals, and sometimes no face even shown - just bound ankles and tickling. Is that unethical, if done without telling the person that it was sexually driven?

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Cuffkinks)
Profile   Post #: 189
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/23/2011 4:05:04 PM   
TheCabal


Posts: 291
Joined: 9/3/2005
From: Lots of different places
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


The comments have been interesting, especially when people assume genders and their answers are based on the gender....

But anyway - there's obviously a line to be drawn for a lot of people. And where it gets fuzzy, I think, is when person A can become sexually aroused by acts or things that are non sexual to an observer. That said, Person A could technically be "using" or "manipulating" someone for their sexual pleasure (maybe steering conversation, or steering actions, for example) and never be caught or be accountable for their actions.

If you switch it into a more common way person A may use person B for sexual gratification that is more OBVIOUS, it's something like "frotteurism" - but again, I suppose a man (or woman) could sexually arouse themselves by brushing against someone and if that person *never knew that it happened* is it still wrong? I think most people say absolutely. I have no knowledge of frotteurism and am not aware of the paraphillia enough to know if the person doing it only gets sexual gratification if there is risk they are getting caught and if the victim is unsuspecting. How is the guy who is brushing against a woman on a subway and getting an erection on purpose any different from the guy touching/feeling a woman's feet as a shoesalesman, getting an erection, and then later fantasizing about it?

When I look at my own fetishes, some of them are obscure, and germane enough that I don't think a man would suspect that a situation or conversation was *sexually arousing* to me unless I admitted this to him. Based on my own ethics, I find that if this is happening, I am obligated to inform the other person, or end the situation. If I were a man with a foot fetish, I would not work at a shoe store.

In the gay m/m fetish community, tickling is a pretty common theme, as well as men's feet and feet in socks/dirty socks. I see a lot of "amateur" video done by college aged men and I suspect that some of these men created these videos (for money or gifts) and may have had NO idea that these videos were done for *sexual arousal* purposes. Of course, there's no nudity, no genitals, and sometimes no face even shown - just bound ankles and tickling. Is that unethical, if done without telling the person that it was sexually driven?

Akasha


I wonder what you'd think of someone who took a job in a shoe store, and then developed (or discovered) the foot fetish while working there. 

Of course, none of these concepts are black and white... which is why they make for such a good topic to discuss. 

Still, if we're still talking about this in terms of ethical, I think the line is drawn where some form of harm befalls the person being objectified.  Now, an argument could be made that 'harm' might extend to the objectified person person becoming upset at discovering what has been going on.  But now we're in an even murkier area because different people are going to react very differently to finding out. 

In general though - it is perfectly ethical for me to swing my fist...  all the way up until it either comes in contact with someone else, or intentionally causes them distress.  Of course, if I pump my fist in the air, without intending to do harm or actually doing harm, that's still going to bother some portion of the population...  and in that case, I'd say the observer needs to get a life. 

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 190
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/23/2011 6:48:38 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline
I have a fetish for whacking off every time I call 911...

The scream...thats what gets them and when they show up I am all calm and lifes good!

Just a lot of explaining to do to the po po`s...

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 191
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/23/2011 6:54:53 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
I once asked a podiatrist if he had a foot fetish. "Duh. All podiatrists do, honey," he told me.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 5/23/2011 6:55:24 PM >


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to ThundersCry)
Profile   Post #: 192
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/23/2011 10:36:45 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
The New Zealand Maori Haka team
  At this point I feel obligated to interject, if only for the sake of accuracy.

What you're no doubt thinking of is the All Blacks - New Zealand's national Rugby Team.  The haka they perform at the commencement of every match is "Ka Mate", something they've done for a century, although they've flirted with others.  You can see an adidas ad incorporating it here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GInerC8gtZA and the lyrics and their meaning can be found here:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haka_%28sports%29#.22Ka_Mate.22

This is not to be confused with Kapa Haka which is a more cultural performance associated with the performing arts and has no association with sport.

So if the Haka gets you going, the fact that these are sportsmen who throw their bodies around the field without any padding or protection should really get the juices flowing.

You're welcome.


_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 193
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/23/2011 10:58:40 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
Hey thanks man. This is what I look at (it's porn for me. Thanks to angel who introduced it to me!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHW1K2LeQXE&feature=related

And hey look! They are calling me personally :

Leader: Ka mate, ka mate 'I die, I die,
Team: Ka ora' Ka ora' 'I live, 'I live,
Leader: Ka mate, ka mate 'I die, 'I die
Team: Ka ora Ka ora " 'I live, 'I live,
All: Tēnei te tangata pūhuruhuru This is the fierce, powerful man
Nāna i tiki mai whakawhiti te rā ...Who caused the sun to shine again for me
A Upane! Ka Upane! Up the ladder, Up the ladder
Upane Kaupane" Up to the top
Whiti te rā,! The sun shines!
Hī! Rise!


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 194
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/23/2011 11:31:07 PM   
TheShrew


Posts: 519
Joined: 2/15/2009
From: The state I live in? Confusion.
Status: offline
I cannot recall anyone ever having rang me up or tapped my shoulder to gain permission {or inform me} of any impure thoughts they may have had about me. Yet, I have not been traumatized or emotionally scarred for life. If someone can receive even the smallest bit of satisfaction by perving me, they have my permission to do so. {Life is short, go get it.}
This is my rationale for perving others 'til my heart is content, without first gaining permission from/alerting them. The way I see it, those are "my" private thoughts. I don't owe it to anyone to share them.
 
If my actions are completely immoral.. I sincerely apologize to most MMA fighters and a good many Hooters girls.

< Message edited by TheShrew -- 5/23/2011 11:33:49 PM >


_____________________________

.. and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music ..

Snark ~ Just another free service I generously provide.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 195
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/24/2011 6:05:17 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
Lol, I think you're supposed to fantasize about hooters girls, I'm pretty sure that's the whole idea, it's a strip bar without the stripping.

A lot of good cocktail waitresses have known this principle for years, and play it for tips - which is why I have no problem with the notion that if they are going to fantasize about you, you might as well play 'em, i.e., naked pics, etc., that sort of the flip side of it, women use it to manipulate men, always have, women and girls flirt to get what they want - it's where the word "Coquette" comes from for example, which is distinct from "tease". Possibly men do this too, but it tend to be associated more with women who have traditionally had to rely more on their wits to get what they want.

Fact is, people use whatever they have to manipulate others, whether it's authority, or sex or whatever -  all language is coercive, politics is essentially the art of emotional manipulation - caveat emptor applies whenever the bullshit starts getting deep.

"Ethical" typically breaks down as a cost benefit ratio, but costs and benefits can be reckoned in terms of intangibles as well as tangibles, thus, if both participants get what they want out the exchange, its ethically balanced - if it's one sided, and one party gains, but the other doesn't necessarily lose anything, or nothing they can't afford to lose, then it isn't necessarily unethical, such as selling a fantasy - or having one.

It usually becomes a problem only when the fantasizer becomes obsessive about it, as I'm a sure a few women in here can attest - for that reason, I think a lot of women would freak if they knew they were your fantasizee - acting out in harmless ways is not so much a problem as a full blown neurotic attachment might be.

< Message edited by xssve -- 5/24/2011 6:10:46 AM >

(in reply to TheShrew)
Profile   Post #: 196
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/24/2011 8:36:22 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
may have had NO idea that these videos were done for *sexual arousal* purposes. Of course, there's no nudity, no genitals, and sometimes no face even shown - just bound ankles and tickling. Is that unethical, if done without telling the person that it was sexually driven?

Akasha


it seems to me if he goes along with a video being shot about having his ankles tied and being tickled... he simply must know it is a bit out of the ordinairy...

what if he agrees to it and it turns him on a bit, but the people making the video are only filming for educational purposes... or for charity...

should the guy tell the cameraman he is getting a bit hot under the collar or can he just enjoy it?

i think it is called edge play...
it is somewhat tricky because indeed things can go wrong
it is somewhat like flirting but then in a 'darker' and much more selfish way

if you lose control over the situation you are in and people find out about it
they may be offended and angry or ... feel entitled to take what they now presume is free on offer if they happened to be 'accidentally' aroused aswell...


(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 197
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/24/2011 8:43:13 AM   
popularDemand


Posts: 228
Status: offline
Come on Ranja, you're getting repetative.

pD

_____________________________


A sentence should be like a serpent: Quick with a sting in its tail. String me a line that has meaning and depth.
There's no small talk with walky-talkies.
Small talk stinks.

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 198
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/24/2011 9:19:22 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
To put it another way, is there anybody who doesn't sexually objectify others?

And it cuts both ways, imagine Two profiles:

"Fit, educated, and successful Dominant seeking discerning submissive to share his estate and mansion, with fully equipped dungeon and wet bar".

vs.,

"Fat slob seeking slut to suck dick and clean trailer"

Which profile do you think will get more responses?

(in reply to popularDemand)
Profile   Post #: 199
RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone witho... - 5/24/2011 11:15:30 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

To put it another way, is there anybody who doesn't sexually objectify others?

And it cuts both ways, imagine Two profiles:

"Fit, educated, and successful Dominant seeking discerning submissive to share his estate and mansion, with fully equipped dungeon and wet bar".

vs.,

"Fat slob seeking slut to suck dick and clean trailer"

Which profile do you think will get more responses?




I think the fact that people sexually objectify/fantasize about others is a given, and generally accepted. The area I am exploring is the ethics of manipulating someone to do something for your sexual gratification without them being aware they are being sexually objectified and consenting to it.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 200
Page:   <<   < prev  7 8 9 [10] 11   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is it unethical to sexually objectify someone without them knowing it? Page: <<   < prev  7 8 9 [10] 11   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109