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DEPL -> RE: Hello World! Any Lesbians out there into CBT?? (5/20/2011 9:55:29 PM)
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Hi,
Thanks for the welcome.
I suppose that's what comes of doing the Introduction at 3am. I suppose I could've worded it better.
The intention was to draw the attention of ANY woman who might be interested to check my profile.
I checked, and to date, only 'DarkSteven' is listed as having viewed my profile among those who have commented on my introduction, but I note that 'MyLadySue' says she has too. I'm sure that there is a lag in the system, so appologies to anyone else that has checked it too, and I'm a bit of a slow typist too.
My Intention was to ask for Dommes, Straight, Bi OR Lesbian that might be interested, and hopefully get their attention sufficient to get them to check my profile.
To those that have checked, you'll note that I think of myself as a lesbian, but as I said there, the difference between a man and a 'Butch Lesbian' is only about 6 inches. As a lesbian in a mans body, it's fairly easy to find a woman to go out with me, but there is something intrinsically different between a heterosexual woman and a lesbian, even if you ignore the physical body, and I'm talking for the moment about the woman I am going out with - she wants a man, not a lesbian in a mans body, pretending to be a man.
I've thought about having a sex change for well over 20 years, but the surgery was in it's infancy, and wasn't available where I was, plus the social, familial and peer presure, let alone career issues, and therefore the money I'd need to pay for it, made me put it into the too hard basket. Besides, at the end of the day, I was living with and having sex with a woman, so no great drama, or so I thought.
Recently, however, the surgery has improved dramatically, is safer and cheaper, plus the social situation is far more accepting of such things. However, I'm a very manly man, in a big frame, and I don't think I've ever met a man with shoulders as broad as mine. (Imagine Arnold Scwarzenegger becomming a woman.) The fact is I'd make an ugly woman, that was obviously a man, so what's the point.
From what I can gather, lesbians aren't any more likely to accept me after exchanging my "outty" for an "inny" as they call SRS, at least that's what I've been led to believe by the lesbians I've known, though they are pretty vanilla.
Besides, as I said, I developed, and have had a very strong castration fantasy now for over 12 years, and a penectomy fantasy for about half that, though it's mostly become a nullo fantasy in the last few years.
I've been in the closet for ages, I suppose this is me comming out - it's not the sort of thing you can easily discuss with your workmates or anyone else in the vanilla world. If it got around I'd be unemployable, even more so than if I had SRS. That, at least, is accepable now. Sure, it's illegal to discriminate, but that doesn't help in a job interview, and how do you prove it??
Now I've lurked on www-eunuch.com too, and apparently - according to them - about 50% of men who fantasize about castration as one of their main fantasies for more than 3 - 5 years eventually ends up castrated. Well, my fate is probably sealed then. I'm not sure that I necessarily agree with that, but it wouldn't surprise me.
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Anyway, I've thought long and hard about this for many long years, and I want to experience life castrated and dickless for a time before I leave this earth (by old age, I hope). That might be hard to understand, but I want to get all I can from life, and be all used up at the end, not still have half a jar left over. Can you imagine fantasizing about BDSM, and NEVER experiencing it before you leave this world?? I don't wan to loose it too early, I want to get all the fun out of it I can, but for awhile before I go, yeah. Of course it may not work out that way, who knows exactly when their times up, but the thought of doing it, being it, hot as hell!!
I've been interested in BDSM for maybe 8 years, and it was my castration fantasy that introduced me to it, and I discovered that I like piercings, and thigh highs, and many of the other props that go with it, NOT the other way 'round. Just so's you know.
At this point in time, it's just a fantasy, and I want a woman to play FANTASY with, preferably one that's turned on by it too, and maybe we have a great, fulfilling emotional and sex life, long term. But then again, who knows.
Oh, and the reason for the "may not meet for months, if ever" is because I'm particular, and with a fantasies like mine, I need to be careful, there are dangerous people around. Mostly at this time I want to correspond with women who might be interested, or curious, or just want to chat about it. THAT is EXACTLY why I'm here. I need to communicate with the type of women that I'd like to play with, even if they aren't actually interested in meeting me in particular, or can't because of distance. I don't want to loose my toys before I've finished playing with them, maybe for many years yet.
I've been reading the posts here for awhile, and the woman are allways complaining that they're not interested in casual "do me" guys, and form-letters spammed to them. And guys that say they're subs and want to 'top-from-the-bottom'.
I want to PLAY out my fantasies, or as close as the Domme is naturally inclined to go.
I'm in no rush, I'm looking for something in particular; it's not everyones cup of tea, and I'm patient, in fact I'm not sure I'll ever find what I'm looking for, but I'm interested in whatever a Domme, Woman, Straight, Bi, or Lesbian has to ask or tell me. And I will attempt to respectfully answer all of them, but bear in mind that I'm a 2 finger typist, and SLOW, so if there's alot of you all at once, it'll take awhile - my apologies for that. You'll note that I don't use "text speak", and try to construct my sentences with punctuation, etc. My english isn't perfect, but not too bad.
Oh, and as I've said before, I'm GREEN, meaning a beginner (I've only sessioned twice), but with some rather extreme kinks - I have been lurking for years, and it's about time I came out, at least online, anyway. And, no, that doesn't mean I'm looking for online sessions - I want to get to know you, as a person - I'm part girl remember, the emotional side is more important than my dick. As for munches, yeah, that'd be great, but I'm in the bush here, not really Sydney, it's just the closest major reference point around here. Nothing like that here. Also I'm still very concerned about my career/friends/family. Meeting people one at a time, and getting to know them one on one over a cofee or a beer feels far safer than a whole bunch at once. Give me a chance to wade in, and feel my way.
Oh, and I call myself sub, but occasionally I imagine having a sub I can stick pins in and pierce to my taste and have my way with, so maybe I guess I'm a switch, in fantasy anyway. As I said, I'm new to this, and just want to make a start, even if I screwed up the heading. I thought that this was a place for kinksters to congregate and meet like-minded individuals. For me, the thought of eating shit is a hard limit, and disgusts me and turns me off - I, personally, can't understand why someone would subject themselves to that - but if they enjoy it, and are turned on by it, as long as they're consenting adults, and they don't force it on me, I don't have a problem with it.
And no, I'm not crazy, just have a different kink than you. Maybe I'm into BDSM, maybe not, maybe I'm a sub, maybe not, maybe I'll fit in, maybe not, but I can't think of a better place to find a Woman or Domme to find out. In fact, I've already had a few tell me what they think!
I get a kick out of pleasing and pleasuring a woman. I get a kick out of being tied up and used by a woman for her pleasure, I get a kick out of her torturing my cock and sticking needles in it, and using electricity on it, the pain drives me to new heights of ecstasy, and I want her to be getting off on it. Isn't that what you people do??
In any case, I have had a strict lesbian couple tie me up, have sex with each other, stop, take turns playing ping-pong with my dick (ping-pong paddles), then giggled and laughed, and then more sex. They even blind-folded me so I couldn't enjoy watching, but that's another story.
Well, it's bit long-winded, and I notice that the replies have gone from 11 to 15, so I better post this.
Thanks for your concern, and perseverance, if you've gotten this far.
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