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Interpreting His Comments - 5/22/2011 10:43:14 PM

Zoe61

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Joined: 4/10/2011
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Hi
Hello I am confused. I met up with a great Dom from here. We had dinner and great conversation. After some rather vanilla fun back at his hotel, he tells me.."I can't teach you anything about sex"..and I haven't heard from him. I know that not hearing means forget it. (duh) but I was confused by that comment. He had said nothing previously about "teaching about sex" . Was it a compliment or a slam?..

< Message edited by Zoe61 -- 5/22/2011 10:44:10 PM >

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/22/2011 10:57:32 PM

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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Seeing he didn't call you again, I would be fairly certain it was not "good" thing... slam? I am not him, so I do not know.

People give throw away reasons as to why they do not want to see someone again, as if we need to give people a reason. I wouldn't trust that anything he said was the "real" reason. It was something he said because he obviously felt he needed to say something. I do not ever ask questions about such stuff, and I rarely will listen to the "reasons" others have for not being interested in me.... unless I have a significant relationship with someone, it is really not important anyways.

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(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/22/2011 11:00:27 PM

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Consider yourself extremely lucky. I have yet to have a sexual partner I didn't learn something from.

He's just not that into you. Great book!

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 5/22/2011 11:01:26 PM >

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/22/2011 11:04:31 PM

Zoe61

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Joined: 4/10/2011
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Absolutely..I read that book and the film was fun too..Thanks I get it..lol...

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/22/2011 11:40:09 PM

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I read it while visiting a Dom years ago. lol. needless to say, after my visit, I didn't return.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 12:22:00 AM

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it means you were eerr....quite sexual on your date and it wasn't what he is looking for. It wasn't a compliment.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 2:13:58 AM

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Meh - it means he realized how FABULOUS you are in bed and that he is a dud. (Interpret to your own advantage!)

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 2:40:25 AM

Zoe61

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/10/2011
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Well, if that wasn't what he was looking for, the date should not have begun two weeks earlier with assignments to write erotic stories for him, and phone sex...also, he could have stopped it..But the real important thing here is he just wasn't that into me..lol.lliterally and figuratively...:) Ty

< Message edited by Zoe61 -- 5/23/2011 2:41:14 AM >

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 2:43:51 AM

Zoe61

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline

Thank you all!

< Message edited by Zoe61 -- 5/23/2011 2:46:15 AM >

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 3:08:22 AM

Arpig

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quote:

After some rather vanilla fun back at his hotel, he tells me

The bolded part is the key, I think. Its not that he wasn't that into you, its that he wasn't really into being a Dom. My guess is he's one of those guys that plays the Dom in order to score some easy pussy.

Sorry to have to tell you this Zoe, but he's a player and you were played like a violin.

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(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 3:59:31 AM

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From: Apple County NY
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He wanted a one night stand, he got it and he used the first line that came to mind to make his getaway without you making a fuss. Next time, don't go with a guy who is obviously focused only on sex. Develop a friendship first. Date instead of jumping straight into the sack.

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RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 6:34:22 AM

Zoe61

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Joined: 4/10/2011
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My friends, I am not stupid but seriously..why the judgemental stuff here in what should be an open forum?
"You were played.."..lol..Sweetheart, you dont know what 'played ' is..This man did not 'play' me. I knew from the get go that this was a sexual thing. I love sex and not every 'date' with a Dom is a chance at forever..We had discussed sex from day 1 and I was fine with that..Being 'played' is when he takes advantage or lies and the sub falls for it..He was a good man from a far away place..he flew in from europe on his way back to Cananda to take me to dinner ( a lovely restaurant) and then in mutual adult consent we went to his hotel and played I loved it..My simple question was just asking for clarification. Some responses here make me sound like the "poor widdle sub who didn't know what getting fucked is"...yikes Thank you and I understand again ad nauseum..But when a man flies into see me, takes me to a great dinner pays the check and from the start we knew it was sex..why reply as if you are thinking I'm a silly woman? I am 61 I was merely confused about his statement. Much appeciated but sometimes good people do sexy things lol
It amazes me that people who live an extreme lifestyle like BDSM respond as if they are filming "Leave it to Beaver"..

< Message edited by Zoe61 -- 5/23/2011 6:40:10 AM >

(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 6:45:32 AM

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61? You give me great hope!!!!!!!!

And, yeah, I met a man like that once, Flew in from Europe to Kansas... lovely, extreme expensive dinner... a weekend of unbridled lust.. and poof, he was gone.

It was what it was... I enjoyed it. Sure, I was disappointed it didnt last... but.. hey... what a weekend!

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 5/23/2011 6:46:13 AM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 7:23:09 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zoe61

My friends, I am not stupid but seriously..why the judgemental stuff here in what should be an open forum?
"You were played.."..lol..Sweetheart, you dont know what 'played ' is..This man did not 'play' me. I knew from the get go that this was a sexual thing. I love sex and not every 'date' with a Dom is a chance at forever..We had discussed sex from day 1 and I was fine with that..Being 'played' is when he takes advantage or lies and the sub falls for it..He was a good man from a far away place..he flew in from europe on his way back to Cananda to take me to dinner ( a lovely restaurant) and then in mutual adult consent we went to his hotel and played I loved it..My simple question was just asking for clarification. Some responses here make me sound like the "poor widdle sub who didn't know what getting fucked is"...yikes Thank you and I understand again ad nauseum..But when a man flies into see me, takes me to a great dinner pays the check and from the start we knew it was sex..why reply as if you are thinking I'm a silly woman? I am 61 I was merely confused about his statement. Much appeciated but sometimes good people do sexy things lol
It amazes me that people who live an extreme lifestyle like BDSM respond as if they are filming "Leave it to Beaver"..

I'm thinking it's because if you had called him your "date" rather than a "Dom" you probably wouldn't have had to ask the question in the first place. The guy found somebody who was willing to have a one night party in person. It wouldn't have mattered if he said hippity, hoppity, Kalimazoo. There's no deeper meaning than hey, got the rocks off, I'm done.

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(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 7:25:37 AM

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Joined: 8/29/2008
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Just because we are "into" BDSM doesn't mean we all throw the pussy at any man that we are attracted to. I am monogamous and I also think that fucking a guy (or girl) on the first, second, or third date will guarantee that they don't see you as a keeper. Yep it's a sucky double standard and yep I have had my share of one night stands. However, the men I really cared about? No I didn't fuck them right out of the gate.

Just because some of us don't believe in immediate sexual gratification doesn't mean we are living a "Leave it to Beaver" life.

I find it funny when people come here for advice and get pissy when it doesn't mesh with what they want to hear.

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As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
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(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 7:29:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
Just because we are "into" BDSM doesn't mean we all throw the pussy at any man that we are attracted to. I am monogamous and I also think that fucking a guy (or girl) on the first, second, or third date will guarantee that they don't see you as a keeper.

It's funny, because I am not like that, but I've found your tactic to be "useful" in reverse. Several times, when it's clear a woman has wanted to have sex with me, I have made her wait until the next date, and always with positive results. Like, "I'm glad you are making me wait. It shows you are the one in control."

About the OP's question: I would need more information to answer. Was he good in bed? What is his skill level? Do you have significantly more experience in BDSM?

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Aynne88)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 7:40:09 AM

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Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

why the judgemental stuff here in what should be an open forum?

If you are thinking my post was judgmental, I wanted to be clear that you asked a question and I gave you the best insight I could. I suppose if something like that happened to me I wouldn't give a damn "why" he thought I was too sexual, etc. In fact I would figure it was a bullshit excuse and dismiss the entire thing from my head.

I have no judgment about the situation, I just don't know why you care what this person thinks... he fucked you and decided not to talk to you again and threw out some BS line. What more is there you feel the need to know? How are we going to know what he meant anymore than you did? This isn't the psychic BDSM hotline here

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 7:48:15 AM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zoe61

Hi
Hello I am confused. I met up with a great Dom from here. We had dinner and great conversation. After some rather vanilla fun back at his hotel, he tells me.."I can't teach you anything about sex"..and I haven't heard from him. I know that not hearing means forget it. (duh) but I was confused by that comment. He had said nothing previously about "teaching about sex" . Was it a compliment or a slam?..

I'm going with the "He's not into you" line of thinking.

There could be many reasons..Only he knows for sure.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
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(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 7:49:32 AM

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Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zoe61

My friends, I am not stupid but seriously..why the judgemental stuff here in what should be an open forum?
"You were played.."..lol..Sweetheart, you dont know what 'played ' is..This man did not 'play' me. I knew from the get go that this was a sexual thing. I love sex and not every 'date' with a Dom is a chance at forever..We had discussed sex from day 1 and I was fine with that..Being 'played' is when he takes advantage or lies and the sub falls for it..He was a good man from a far away place..he flew in from europe on his way back to Cananda to take me to dinner ( a lovely restaurant) and then in mutual adult consent we went to his hotel and played I loved it..My simple question was just asking for clarification. Some responses here make me sound like the "poor widdle sub who didn't know what getting fucked is"...yikes Thank you and I understand again ad nauseum..But when a man flies into see me, takes me to a great dinner pays the check and from the start we knew it was sex..why reply as if you are thinking I'm a silly woman? I am 61 I was merely confused about his statement. Much appeciated but sometimes good people do sexy things lol
It amazes me that people who live an extreme lifestyle like BDSM respond as if they are filming "Leave it to Beaver"..

You are a grown woman who posted on a free message board. You heard the comments. People are as free to comment in any way they see fit on a free message board, just as you are free to post dumb questions or smart questions, which sometimes happens.

As for people who live an extreme lifestyle like BDSM not being judgemental...I am so over that misconception.

People into BDSM are no different than people anywhere. If someone tells you you were played, or he was just not into you or whatever, that has nothing to do with being into the lifestyle, and everything to do with their ability and freedom to comment on the situation you posted. Even if this guy was strictly vanilla and he said that to you, the responses would be same.

New posters seem to think that everyone is going to agree with whatever they post because this is some utopia of alikeness.

Oh, and it is totally cool to discuss sex from day one, but did it occur to you that sometimes people talk too much about sex from day one and then the expecation level did not match up? You or he might have talked a good game but the game did not turn out the same for him. Whenever a man talks constantly about how good he is in bed, I just laugh.

Let's face it; he is from a far away place, you were a pitstop and move on. Your profile states you are into somewhat casual behavior so why be concerned over the comment?

(in reply to Zoe61)

RE: Interpreting His Comments - 5/23/2011 7:50:42 AM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Just because we are "into" BDSM doesn't mean we all throw the pussy at any man that we are attracted to.

Lies!

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Aynne88)

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