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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 1:49:16 PM   
tazzygirl


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Been in a funk. Hurt my foot in a bus accident... lol.... I hate not working. So yeah, Im probably a bit on edge when it comes to posts. If that isnt how Heather meant that, then I appologize.

How you doin?

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 1:56:43 PM   
GreedyTop


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tired and achy at the moment... packing to move to GA for a new job.   YAY!

Sorry to hear about your foot? How long before you can go back to work? *hug*

Back OT:  I've already been in contact with several people in Savannah in the "scene".  I'm hoping that I will find someone to play with once I am settled. BDSM to me DOES have a sexual component:  however, that does not mean that there will necessarily be any kind of sexual action involved.  I have played with folks in the past that the play itself got my panties damp.. and my solution was to take care of biz myself, later..

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 2:05:19 PM   
tazzygirl


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Been out 6 weeks, will find out tomorrow if i can go back and what restrictions i may have.

I do hope your move goes smoothly! I hate packing and unpacking.. lol... but I love seeing new places. Good luck on your new job!

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 2:05:41 PM   
DomImus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
We probably do have different views on the original though.  While at the core of it psychology had originally defined sadism as as sexual perversion and all of that happy stuff, I don't think BDSM is necessarily sexual for everyone.  I can certainly say that it isn't for Me in every instance.  A good example of this is when I top females.  I enjoy the sadistic part of it immensely, but the sexual element is gone.


+1. While BDSM is often about sex, it doesn't always have to be about sex.


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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 2:12:07 PM   
GreedyTop


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Thanks, tazzy!  I hope things go well for you tomorrow!

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 5:41:35 PM   
HeatherMcLeather


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quote:

As I said, its her experience, her opinion. Its not that way for everyone, something she doesnt even try to point out.
I didn't think I had to preface each remark I make by saying "This is only my opinion". I assumed everybody would understand that. And I didn't point out that it wasn't this way for everybody because I don't presume to speak for anybody but me.

But I think my point you quoted is valid. I qualified my statement quite clearly. I said "When you can bring yourself to the brink of orgasm by doing housework, then you know its all about sex."

I really don't think anybody can argue with that, or see how it could be seen to be saying that it has to be about sex for everybody. It very clearly talks about a specific group of people, and if you are not in that group of people then the conclusion I drew doesn't have to apply to you. And I'm pretty confidant that if you are in that group, you agree with me.

For future purposes please remember I don't speak for anybody but me. I'm young and very very inexperienced. Stupidly inexperienced. This is not only my first BDSM relationship, its my first serious relationship. In fact its my first real relationship period. Anything I post is my experience, or my view, based on my (very limited) experience, nothing more. Please don't ever assume I'm trying to say it is anything else.

Now I'm off to watch the game. Go Bruins!!!

Heather McLeather


< Message edited by HeatherMcLeather -- 5/25/2011 5:43:48 PM >

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 5:43:34 PM   
GreedyTop


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BRUINS?

I may have to snub you now...

GO RAYS!!!

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 5:57:12 PM   
sunshinemiss


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Hurt my foot in a bus accident... lol....



You really shouldn't kick the bus, darling. They're bigger than you.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 5:59:43 PM   
Arpig


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quote:


GO RAYS!!!
Rays?? It's the Tampa Bay LIGHTNING they are playing. Greedy babe, you are adorable...really truly adorable, but you just don't have a pucking clue.

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 6:05:40 PM   
GreedyTop


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I honestly don't have a clue..LOL  I know the Bucs are football because of the stadium.. otherwise, my give a damn is busted...LOL

I dont even know if Tampa has a basketball team or not.

Guests at the hotel often ask me about sporting events... *snerk* The guest survey has gotten a (very) few complaints about my lack of knowledge,,LOL

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 8:44:41 PM   
tazzygirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Hurt my foot in a bus accident... lol....



You really shouldn't kick the bus, darling. They're bigger than you.


More like the bus kicked me. Stupid driver ran a red light then hit a car. I ended up in the isle and somehow managed to screw up my foot.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/25/2011 11:33:34 PM   
Daddysredhead


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With the exception of a few scenes where I have bottomed, there is always some type of sex going on, even if it is only in my head. Most of the time, it is get beaten, get laid. When I have had subbie girls to play with, there was also a sexual component. I'm pretty sensual, whether from the bottom or the Top, so I'm sure there will always be some sort of sex involved with me.

Red

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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/26/2011 8:39:40 AM   
ResidentSadist


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When the CIA is waterboarding someone it ain’t BDSM.  Allow me to explain. 

When I reached over the counter and pulled the salesman up off his feet, then carried him to the store phone and made him call the manager, humiliating him and making explain how he discriminated against me for having long hair and a biker jacket . . . it wasn’t BDSM.  However, in was an act of domination . . . but it wasn’t D/s either.

Just like when a vanilla with a submissive personality submits to something, that doesn’t make it D/s.  What if they were a lifestyle submissive with a submissive personality and did exactly what the vanilla did? 

The same is true if I get a thrill helping my Domme friends torture their male subs, it isn’t sexual.  It may be sadistic, it may be dominating, it may get my hormones flowing, but it isn’t really BDSM is it?  It's another aspect of domination . . . which isn't in the BDSM acronym. 

So now you have some of my premises.  Using the tools of BDSM or doing something that "could" fit into BDSM doesn't make it BDSM.  However, even if it is just about protocol or the most mundane non-sexual form of service, if it is an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure, it makes that BDSM act sexual.  A Domme's sissy maid may be in chastity, never orgasm, torture, protocol, humiliation, objectification and bondage scenes may not include sex, but if a sexy feeling aren't among the motives, it's not BDSM.  It's probably an aspect of masochistic or sadistic personality disorder.


All these years I was taught BDSM stood for Bondage Discipline & Sadomasochism. 

The etymology of sadomasochism is two words "Sadism" and "Masochism", which are derived from the names of authors, Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.  If you read the writings of the authors who sit at the etymological core that gave birth to the terms sadism and masochism, you will find sexually oriented books jam packed with bondage, discipline, sadistic and masochistic sex scenes with a host of other sexy kinks.
By Marquis De Sade: Justine or the Misfortunes of Virtue Written - Justine, Philosophy in the Bedroom, and Other Writings - Justine or Good Conduct Well Chastised - The 120 Days of Sodom and Other Writings - Letters From Prison - The Crimes of Love - Philosophy in the Boudoir: Or, The Immoral Mentors
By Leopold von Sacher-Masoch: Venus in Furs
Yes, I feel sadomasochism is definitely about sex.  Bondage and discipline are just some of the tools used by sexual sadists and sexual masochists that practice sadomasochism.  Even the latest DSM was recently updated to remove the non-sexual form of sadism so that the current "sadism" now reads like the old "sexual sadism". 

Sexual Sadism is the recurrent urge or behavior involving acts in which pain, suffering or humiliation of the recipient is either an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure.

Sexual Masochism, the counterpart of sexual sadism, is the recurrent urge of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
Long ago and far away, BDSM stood for Bondage Discipline & SadoMasochism.  S&M stood for Sadism and Masochism. 

The BDSM acronym has been badly bastardized over the years and even now the Wikipedia incorrectly defines it despite protests to correct it.  Wikipedia claims that the 4 letter acronym has 6 meanings . . . the D & S are really D/s giving them double billing to include domination and submission.  If the trend to reinvent the acronym continues, I expect the TPE crowd to eventually jam their 2 cents in an try to include slave & Master into the meaning. 

Will BDSM eventually become BDDSsM or BDDSssMM?


Thank you for saving Me on that one.  It's very much appreciated.

We probably do have different views on the original though.  While at the core of it psychology had originally defined sadism as as sexual perversion and all of that happy stuff, I don't think BDSM is necessarily sexual for everyone.  I can certainly say that it isn't for Me in every instance.  A good example of this is when I top females.  I enjoy the sadistic part of it immensely, but the sexual element is gone. 

Well, we may not see eye to eye.  But I feel if it isn't sexual, it isn't BDSM and you may be getting other thrills.  Many types of domination and torture feed sadistic thrills but aren't at what I have learned to be the heart of BDSM.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 5/26/2011 8:41:59 AM >


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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/26/2011 8:45:23 AM   
Kana


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Bah. BDSM is about power. Therein can be found the roots, control is the trunk, sex is a main branch.

I can whip and beat a gal w/o fucking her. Done it before, will surely do it again (What could be funner than a groveling, begging, trembling, sweaty, needy, hopeful, helpless slave slut NOT getting what she wants, not getting her way and just watching her crumble as she realizes that her last, best card doesn't work and that I have total control).
It's about the surrender, the fact that I can do what I want, when I want, how I want (Course, for me, that's an aphrodisiac). If it's only about sex, then how to explain those little acts, the raised eyebrow across the room, a certain inflection of voice, those subtle little things that can be done anytime, anywhere, but pull her leash tight every time.

Or at least that's the way it works in my life.


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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/26/2011 8:50:14 AM   
ResidentSadist


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. . . power . . . helpless slave slut . . .  aphrodisiac . . .

Sounds sexy to me. 




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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/26/2011 9:18:07 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


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I came across the Marquis de Sade's Justine at a very young age.. . .14? 15? What I knew about sex you could put in a thimble, and I didn't know S&M from Sally Mae.

Reading Justine, for me at least, was very sexual.


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RE: -=BDSM isn't about sex=- - 5/26/2011 9:32:54 AM   
LinnaeaBorealis


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Ok, now your premise is making a whole lot more sense to me. And you're correct: the scene I did with Mistress Thia on my birthday was a form of release for both of us, which wasn't exactly sexual, but probably a substitute for sex, at least for me. When His Evilness did things to me, it was always sexual. It was most definitely sexual masochism on my part & sexual sadism on his. Before him, the pain play was more like foreplay. But with him, the pain was most definitely sexual. I had never known that I could get off like that from being hurt so excruciatingly. I had never been able to eroticize sexual pain before. For me that kind of pain was a turn-off. But it was so sexual for him & I think that's why it got to me. I'm not fully awake yet, so I may have to revisit this again.

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