LadyConstanze -> RE: Male vs. Female Dominance (My 1st thread) (5/28/2011 3:41:22 PM)
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ORIGINAL: DesFIP I'm not sure it's as cut and dried as the op thinks. But perhaps there's a difference between the way lesbians relate to each other and the way straight women relate to a male dominant? Intellectually I know that there shouldn't be any difference except motivation. Emotionally I don't feel that way. Hell lots of us don't. We've had the discussion of whether you could top your dominant at his command and several of us said we can't, and we couldn't even view them as dominant if we knew they had ever bottomed. Now bottoming has nothing intrinsic to do with submission or dominance, it's just a desire for strong sensation. I do know that, intellectually. Emotionally I would be squicked if he suddenly revealed he was once a pain slut. I think I'm safe though, by now we've discussed every damn topic that could come up in relation to our sex/kink desires. Truthfully, I don't even enjoy being on top during sex. The few times I've had to, he's usually restrained me and picked me up and placed me there because without that forceplay, I won't be able to relax and enjoy it, forget about being able to orgasm. The main difference I see is that I can see there's a divide that shouldn't be there, but knowing doesn't eliminate it. I understand that feelings are not rational and you feel as you do, but consider something else, for example I try most things out on myself, I find it only responsible to know what I inflict, does that make me less dominant or would you be less worried and would find it easier to let go because you know somebody makes sure that you might be uncomfy, possibly even in pain but not at risk... Now I'm an adrenalin junkie, I like fast sports and I crave the sensation of sore muscles, it feels good to have sore muscles after a work out, just like after good sex you do feel like well, you've run a marathon or had quite a workout at the gym, I don't mind the odd bruise or scratch, though I won't ever permit anybody to hit me. Seriously, if the rest of my sex-life would be treated like a raw egg or a fragile doll, I might as well give up having sex and become a nun, it would bore me to death.
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