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LadyPact -> RE: Why does everyone ask this? (8/1/2011 5:35:34 AM)
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OP, people ask because the possibility always exists that, even though you enjoy both roles, you may have preference for one more than the other.
Now this:
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ORIGINAL: JWriter
Many people put themselves as Switches, when they are pretty much all dom or all sub in regards desired position, but, enjoy occasional forays into the other side, for training or for the novel kinkiness of it all, instead of the same old staid kinkiness they usually engage in.
This is not what I see. Most Dominants who like to bottom or submissives who like to top generally describe themselves with the relationship role. Those who describe themselves as switch for play only will come out and say they enjoy both topping and bottoming.
Switches do run into issues still (I think at least three on this thread alone used the word "prejudice") because people want to assume things that just aren't the case. The 'in the case of training' bit is a crock. It used to be that every leather Master started as a slave in somebody's house. (That's changed a bit now, but not the point.) They don't call themselves switches because they were once in service to somebody else.
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It's part of the by-product of the thinking that bdsm is all about flesh and weird sex. Someone who knows they are dominant, in their interior being, know that they continue to be dominant, even if they are being spanked; whereas, someone who thinks it is all about if you desire to spank or be spanked, tends to get confused, not realizing it is the mind and inner person, not the flesh, which determine the nature of the (wo)man.
Any Dominant who is always Dominant is going to call themselves Dominant. They aren't confused because they like to bottom as well as be in charge of their dynamic.
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As a result of the confusion, there are so many people claiming to be switch that are actually submissive or dom, and, just open to exploration, that the people who really are just switches, who really could just go either way, at any given moment, get even more misunderstood than they already are.
I'm not buying that, either. If anything, there are a number of folks who do switch, but would rather label themselves as one or the other because of bad propaganda.
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Add to that, that the switches actually tend to be fully dominant, and, that is precisely why they can do as they please, without worrying about which role they are in, at all given moments. That is a statement about actual psychology, by the way, not current modern socially acceptable bdsm roles defined by the majority.
I'm trying to figure if there is any possible way you could be more wrong about this. However, if you'd like to state your reference about the actual psychology, I'll be more than happy to read it.
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Dominance is not really about what you do, who you do, how you do it, but, about WHY you do it. Same for submission.
Funny, because I do it because it's who I am.
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That's my two cents.
If you thought it was worth two pennies, I think you might be overestimating the value.
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