A genuine speculation, not trying to offend

A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (Full Version)

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Raethepain -> A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 4:52:04 AM)
I'm pretty new to the scene, and have always been... curious as to what it entails to be a Switch. I myself am what I class as a natural submissive- I HAVE to be submissive to enjoy the scene sexually. However, in a scene not driven by sex, I think I could make a pretty good Dominant. I suppose because it ties in to what I do anyway (I'm a theatre director) taking command of a scene... and I could see how I could have fun in it, although I wouldn't get any deeper satisfaction out of it... So what do you think? Am I a borderline switch... or just a good actress? lol

Wulfchyld -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 5:06:07 AM)
Well girl, Dominatrix comes to mind.

JohnWarren -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 6:08:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Raethepain I'm pretty new to the scene, and have always been... curious as to what it entails to be a Switch. I myself am what I class as a natural submissive- I HAVE to be submissive to enjoy the scene sexually. However, in a scene not driven by sex, I think I could make a pretty good Dominant. I suppose because it ties in to what I do anyway (I'm a theatre director) taking command of a scene... and I could see how I could have fun in it, although I wouldn't get any deeper satisfaction out of it... So what do you think? Am I a borderline switch... or just a good actress? lol Don't worry about labels. Do what makes you and your partner(s) happy.

Reflectivesoul -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 7:23:54 AM)
quote: Don't worry about labels. Do what makes you and your partner(s) happy. so true! People get too caught up in worrying what they have to call themselves. Before anything we are all human and sometimes there is a general need to remind people of this. As long as you are happy in your relationships with people and can find a common ground ( so to speak) with someone else in a submissive type style then good for you! You dont have to be anything you dont need or want to be and if you find no satisfaction in leading a relationship then dont. Should you meet a submissive and find that you enjoy leading with that particular person then go with it..... what you do and feel is governed basically only by yourself ( unless you're collared then you have a guideline to follow but how you feel is how you feel its never right or wrong it just is! )

EthicalEpicure -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 8:11:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Raethepain I'm pretty new to the scene, and have always been... curious as to what it entails to be a Switch. I myself am what I class as a natural submissive- I HAVE to be submissive to enjoy the scene sexually. However, in a scene not driven by sex, I think I could make a pretty good Dominant. I suppose because it ties in to what I do anyway (I'm a theatre director) taking command of a scene... and I could see how I could have fun in it, although I wouldn't get any deeper satisfaction out of it... So what do you think? Am I a borderline switch... or just a good actress? lol Conceptually speaking, you may just be tapping into some of the potential fluidity of BDSM roles. Most folks engage in a variety of power differentials in myriad arenas: you might feel naturally submissive when partnered in private, as you note, but your workplace may oblige you to perform dominantly. To that extent, the roles tend to evolve organically, as people grow and change. In time you might find other satisfactions when occupying a dominant position that you don't experience now, and by the same token that new awareness may also deepen the pleasures of being submissive. Per your question, I think it's not an either/or proposition so much as a both/and situation: you have all the capacities on tap--dom, switch, sub, and otherwise--it's just a question of the pleasures and prerogatives to be derived therefrom.

Raethepain -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 8:36:48 AM)
Thank you for the views so far. I suppose I'm just interested in seeing what I can do within the scene... just curious!

ArchangelMichael -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 12:27:27 PM)
To me, a switch is just someone who enjoys both sides. Some switches only switch in an S&M sense, that is they both top and bottom, but don't do D/s. Some can be in a particular D/s role (such as you being a submissive) while they simply top or bottom on the other side with out the D/s dynamic. Still others can switch between both D/s roles and others (such as myself) do it all, switching between Dom/Top and sub/bottom. Although, I still need the right person to insprire my Dominance or submission. I tend to have a Dominant mindset for the most part, but for the right Domme, I can be a total submissive. I'm versatile like that. Like others said, if it makes you happy to be a submissive most of the time but also explore topping, go for it. Sometimes being a switch carries a certain stigma. I've found that people who tend to be one absolute look for someone else who is the opposite absolute, without any room for switching. I honestly think that those who say they don't want a switch are limiting themselves. Just be true to yourself.

Lashra -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 12:36:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JohnWarren quote: ORIGINAL: Raethepain I'm pretty new to the scene, and have always been... curious as to what it entails to be a Switch. I myself am what I class as a natural submissive- I HAVE to be submissive to enjoy the scene sexually. However, in a scene not driven by sex, I think I could make a pretty good Dominant. I suppose because it ties in to what I do anyway (I'm a theatre director) taking command of a scene... and I could see how I could have fun in it, although I wouldn't get any deeper satisfaction out of it... So what do you think? Am I a borderline switch... or just a good actress? lol Don't worry about labels. Do what makes you and your partner(s) happy. Best advice there is. Do what makes you happy. ~Lashra

Raethepain -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 1:59:00 PM)
I guess I'm saying I see the appeal, but I wouldn't get satisfaction from it. I guess it could be something useful in the future...

Reflectivesoul -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 5:40:43 PM)
If you havent tried it yet with the right person dont rule it out that you "cant" get satisfaction from it!

Phoenixandnika -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/14/2006 10:07:07 PM)
Labels are horrid things. I hate them! They mean different things to different people. There are those that say "There is no such thing as a switch." or "Switches are confused people." Bah. My point is this. Don't try and fit into someone elses label for you. That doesn't mean that a label may not fit but don't feel the need to exclude or include things to fit it. (hope that makes sense) As far as seeing the appeal but not being able to get personal satisfaction from it. Your not alone in that. Phoenix sees the appeal of being a switch for me, however; he would NOT get any satisfaction from switching and becoming submissive. ONLY you can decide what will bring you happiness and fulfill your needs. It is up to you to make that happen. Blessed Be, Nika

Raethepain -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/15/2006 4:04:56 AM)
I don't know what it is. I don't find the idea of being Dominant stimulating, but I suppose it's because others see it in me, I'm wondering if I'm just missing something or people just dont really know me after all...! Thanks for all your advice guys.

Dustyn -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/15/2006 4:06:25 AM)
singing It's your thang... do what ya wanna do... - Dustyn

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/15/2006 10:17:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Raethepain I guess I'm saying I see the appeal, but I wouldn't get satisfaction from it. I guess it could be something useful in the future... Don't be so sure of that either. Many people find, when they first start actually doing BDSM, that they enjoy a lot of things they didn't think they would and that they don't enjoy some of the things they thought they would.

fallensoul -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/15/2006 11:22:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Raethepain I don't know what it is. I don't find the idea of being Dominant stimulating, but I suppose it's because others see it in me, I'm wondering if I'm just missing something or people just dont really know me after all...! Thanks for all your advice guys. I thought so, too. But in my Opinion, you only know if you tasted both sides. A good dom should know how it feels to be in the position in which he puts the other. and vice versa. But like I said this is just my Opinion.

Phoenixandnika -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/15/2006 1:00:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fallensoul quote: ORIGINAL: Raethepain I don't know what it is. I don't find the idea of being Dominant stimulating, but I suppose it's because others see it in me, I'm wondering if I'm just missing something or people just dont really know me after all...! Thanks for all your advice guys. I thought so, too. But in my Opinion, you only know if you tasted both sides. A good dom should know how it feels to be in the position in which he puts the other. and vice versa. But like I said this is just my Opinion. When I first began exploring the lifestyle I was taught that a dominate would / should spend time as a submissive / slave in order to gain insight into that side of it. I have meet more than a handful of people who not only agree with that statement but have practiced it. Blessed Be, Phoenix's Nika

Lashra -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/15/2006 1:12:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Raethepain I guess I'm saying I see the appeal, but I wouldn't get satisfaction from it. I guess it could be something useful in the future... You never know unless you try it. Thinking about it and actually doing it are to totally different things. It does add alot of spice to the pot. [;)] ~Lashra

theRose4U -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/15/2006 2:36:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Raethepain I'm pretty new to the scene, and have always been... curious as to what it entails to be a Switch. I myself am what I class as a natural submissive- I HAVE to be submissive to enjoy the scene sexually. However, in a scene not driven by sex, I think I could make a pretty good Dominant. I suppose because it ties in to what I do anyway (I'm a theatre director) taking command of a scene... and I could see how I could have fun in it, although I wouldn't get any deeper satisfaction out of it... So what do you think? Am I a borderline switch... or just a good actress? lol Ummm. both? If you wouldn't get a thrill out of topping in a BDSM sense then don't do it. However, if you're naturally inclined dominant (even just through your job) you might try co-topping or scening as a service top (not how you're "wired" but you take on the role for that point in time). Switch is not an easy label to carry. doms think that they can "tame" a Switch into being their sub and the way I'm wired I want to pull off their sack and use it as a purse for such things. Others are sub and get rid of dominant energy as service tops. It's kind of one of those things like asparagus...try it you might like it...worst you know you don't.

fastlane -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/15/2006 2:51:43 PM)
I should be in movies, but I wouldn't want to be in an X rated film as a bottom...no, no,no. However, I would let you cast me on broadway and Direct me as you see fit....does that make me a Switch? No! Just as it doesn't make you one for wanting to direct a scene.....it's in your blood and doesn't make you less submissive, just more passionate for your work. Find me a real purdy girl, get her and I nekked...and direct away....then, when you are tired of that....let me tie you up and I'll direct you as to what I expect next. Fair enough? Lights, Action, Camera...[;)]Kevin

Dustyn -> RE: A genuine speculation, not trying to offend (5/15/2006 8:54:04 PM)
Man, I was eating, Fastlane... the thought of you nekkid just ruined THAT impulse... LOL - Dustyn

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