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Masters, do you ever... - 6/11/2011 6:08:31 PM

Acephale

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fall in love with your subs?

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/11/2011 6:27:55 PM

SimplyMichael

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Some fall in love with every one, some fall in love with only one, some never fall in love. Some think they are in love when they are not, some are in love but won't admit it. Some should never fall in love and it is tragic that others never do.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/11/2011 7:34:45 PM

Awareness

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Fast Reply.

Of course - the first time she swallows then cooks a perfect Eggs Benedict is usually what gets me.

It happens but generally speaking, you have to be something special. If you're playing casually with someone, it's not likely. And if your dynamic isn't sexual then it's also unlikely. The root of all erotic love is the desire to fuck.

< Message edited by Awareness -- 6/11/2011 7:35:08 PM >

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/11/2011 7:45:33 PM

HannahLynHeather

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i'd have be in love with her before i'd make her my sub.

a bottom is another thing, i don't even need to know her fucking name.

oddly enough, i don't feel the same way about being somebody's sub. i just need to like her to do that. go figure.

hannah lynn

p.s. you're really fucking cute!

< Message edited by HannahLynHeather -- 6/11/2011 7:46:42 PM >

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/11/2011 9:31:24 PM

DesFIP

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We fell in love first. Without that, there is no way I would have submitted. Because if he didn't love me, it wouldn't matter to him what happened to me. And if that were the case, I wouldn't have trusted him to take care of me.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/11/2011 9:34:50 PM

sunshinemiss

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Celeste -
If he didn't love you, you really don't think it would matter to him what happened to you? From what you've said about your fellow, he doesn't seem to be that kind of a man. I don't get the impression from you that he doesn't give a flying fig about the world... except those few he loves.

Best,
sunshine

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/11/2011 10:16:02 PM

weaselwelder

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If I did not love her, I could not claim her. If she did not love me, she could not be mine.

Honestly, I wonder sometimes when these questions pop up. I realize that many people do not need love in a physical or mental relationship, but these questions imply that loving someone you have a relationship with, a relationship many of us find to be the most intimate we experience, is weird.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 8:34:09 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
Some fall in love with every one, some fall in love with only one, some never fall in love. Some think they are in love when they are not, some are in love but won't admit it. Some should never fall in love and it is tragic that others never do.

THAT.

Although to be fair, the general attitude towards love in the BDSM community is probably the biggest reason I don't identify as a "master" anymore.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 8:38:49 AM

Kana

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If I don't love her, I would never make her mine. I've loved every woman who has ever served me, and each has left their imprint on my soul.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 8:52:32 AM

NocturnalStalker

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acephale

fall in love with your subs?

No, I secretly see females as gifts from God to entertain me with until my physical body ceases to operate and I go to Heaven to rock out with Jesus while riding unicorns over rainbows.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 8:53:08 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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FR,,Now thats a question we all ponder on when we are poly,One always loves another more for some reason thats just being human, you try not too but it happens.Of course you treat all equal and keep this to yourself..B

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 9:02:22 AM

myotherself

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As a sub, I see D/s and s&m as part of our relationship. It's not the whole of the relationship, just part, albeit an important part.

Another part is friendship, companionship and love.

If I don't have all of these, or think that they are all possible, then the relationship won't work.

Thankfully he thinks the same way.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 9:12:00 AM

ClassIsInSession

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I think having any sort of relationship involving sexuality without love is just sport fucking. It doesn't appeal to me in the slightest.
At the bare minimum historically, to engage in any sexual act I have to deeply like someone, but I wouldn't even entertain taking on someone as a sub or slave full time without love being a factor.

I think some may feel that if you love someone, you lose the "dominant" perspective, and it makes you a push over, but I've found that really loving someone deeply does the opposite, it makes you push the submissive/slave to be even more an expression of their highest potential, knowing that in doing so, they become more self-actualized and better at serving ALL needs, not just the sexual or sadistic ones. The difference I guess is that while some take on subs/slaves purely for selfish ego gratification or the frequent indulgence of their sexual kinks or perversions, some take them on to form a very intimate, deep relationship.

I find that love heightens the intensity of the experience and enough so that lacking it, I lose interest in the prospect.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 11:30:03 AM

Acephale

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quote:

I think some may feel that if you love someone, you lose the "dominant" perspective, and it makes you a push over, but I've found that really loving someone deeply does the opposite, it makes you push the submissive/slave to be even more an expression of their highest potential, knowing that in doing so, they become more self-actualized and better at serving ALL needs, not just the sexual or sadistic ones. The difference I guess is that while some take on subs/slaves purely for selfish ego gratification or the frequent indulgence of their sexual kinks or perversions, some take them on to form a very intimate, deep relationship.

I find that love heightens the intensity of the experience and enough so that lacking it, I lose interest in the prospect.

I think that this was the answer I was hoping for. How do you know when it's alright to show emotion or is it just something you have to find out the hard way?

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 11:47:10 AM

littlewonder

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You show it when it's a true emotion. There is no timetable. If the other person does not feel the same way then you either stay in a loveless relationship if you're ok with it being non-reciprocated or you move on to find someone who will be compatible with you.

Just because you're in a "bdsm" relationship doesn't make this any different from any other relationship on the planet.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 1:04:45 PM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

i'd have be in love with her before i'd make her my sub.

a bottom is another thing, i don't even need to know her fucking name.

This, pretty much.

I'd have to love someone for them to be my sub.

The chances are they'll have begun as a "bottom" - and I'm totally with Hannah on this - I don't even need to know her fucking name.

Then, they'd become a playmate - I couldn't have a playmate I didn't genuinely like hanging out with, so with playmates I definitely have to like them, but love isn't necessary.

Finally there'd be sub... and love (or something very much on the way to it) is important to me.

quote:

p.s. you're really fucking cute!

Oh, and I totally agree with this too.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 2:58:24 PM

Aileen1968

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Yes they do. And subs fall in love with their men too.
Just like in real relationships.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 4:25:58 PM

ThundersCry

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I have...sure, it becomes a different dynamic...then...for me.

As someone said if they are just going to bottom to me...once or twice I may ask their name .it really doesn`t matter....

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 5:39:23 PM

LillyBoPeep

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassIsInSession

I think some may feel that if you love someone, you lose the "dominant" perspective, and it makes you a push over, but I've found that really loving someone deeply does the opposite, it makes you push the submissive/slave to be even more an expression of their highest potential, knowing that in doing so, they become more self-actualized and better at serving ALL needs, not just the sexual or sadistic ones. The difference I guess is that while some take on subs/slaves purely for selfish ego gratification or the frequent indulgence of their sexual kinks or perversions, some take them on to form a very intimate, deep relationship.

I find that love heightens the intensity of the experience and enough so that lacking it, I lose interest in the prospect.

i couldn't agree with you more; you do hear a lot that love somehow dulls the dynamic, but in my limited experience, it just made it stronger. because love makes you want what's best for the person, and perhaps what's best for the person you love is to be a slave, to be owned. and that person wants what's best for you; perhaps her way of showing that is by serving as completely as she can.
that's the way it works for me.

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RE: Masters, do you ever... - 6/12/2011 7:19:34 PM

ResidentSadist

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Yup.

The amount of trust required for my style of relationship requires a total exposure of your personality, dreams and desires. If you are a good person, how could I not fall in love? If you're a nasty bitch and riddled with issues, why would I keep you after uncovering your filthy soul?

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