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looking to serve - 7/10/2011 4:48:05 PM

yourfnslave

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/19/2010
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i am a new sub in cleveland having a hard time finding a serious master any suggestions

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RE: looking to serve - 7/10/2011 4:51:27 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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Find your local groups, go to munches, be active in the community.

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RE: looking to serve - 7/10/2011 4:55:29 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Many munches however are primarily heterosexually oriented, with a very small attendance by gays. Since the op is male and seeks a master, then perhaps he would do better to join gay groups as well.

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RE: looking to serve - 7/10/2011 5:05:26 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Find your local groups, go to munches, be active in the community.

While I don't disagree with this advice, certainly not all Toppy types (good, bad, or otherwise) are into the local, public, community thing -- neither of us are, and actually detest it. Though I do think your advice may provide the OP with a faster route?!! Again, good advice, though I did want to add there are many that don't do the public/community thing that are also worth sifting through on the personals side of CM.

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RE: looking to serve - 7/10/2011 5:28:24 PM

erieangel

Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
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I have yet to do a munch in my area for two reasons. 1) I would't know anybody there and I have a mild form of social anxiety disorder. 2) All of the munches thus far have been scheduled during my normal work hours, which effectively gives me an excuse not to face the social anxiety.

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RE: looking to serve - 7/10/2011 5:53:09 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Find your local groups, go to munches, be active in the community.

While I don't disagree with this advice, certainly not all Toppy types (good, bad, or otherwise) are into the local, public, community thing -- neither of us are, and actually detest it. Though I do think your advice may provide the OP with a faster route?!! Again, good advice, though I did want to add there are many that don't do the public/community thing that are also worth sifting through on the personals side of CM.

I personally think that with someone new, it's best to get out there and get to know the community. Otherwise, you're an island dependent on one source.

For instance: There's a guy here locally who won't have anything to do with a woman who is active in the community...why? Because he's behaved like a flaming asshole and pretty much everyone in the community knows it. It's much easier for him to get laid when he can be the sole source of information.

As for this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: erieangel

I have yet to do a munch in my area for two reasons. 1) I would't know anybody there and I have a mild form of social anxiety disorder.

I'm going to suggest that you go onto Fet Life. They have groups for just about every city, where you can join discussions and get to know people local to you. That way when you go to a munch, you will know someone there.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: looking to serve - 7/10/2011 6:04:35 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Find your local groups, go to munches, be active in the community.

While I don't disagree with this advice, certainly not all Toppy types (good, bad, or otherwise) are into the local, public, community thing -- neither of us are, and actually detest it. Though I do think your advice may provide the OP with a faster route?!! Again, good advice, though I did want to add there are many that don't do the public/community thing that are also worth sifting through on the personals side of CM.

I personally think that with someone new, it's best to get out there and get to know the community. Otherwise, you're an island dependent on one source.

Again, I absolutely DON'T disagree with your advice... I just know, first hand, there are many outside the public/community thing that are worth having as well.

As to said "island"? I don't know... with forums such as this one, I think there's great opportunity for a host of different viewpoints -- i.e., more than just "one source" for info, yes/no???

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RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 1:03:32 AM

erieangel

Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
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quote:

I'm going to suggest that you go onto Fet Life. They have groups for just about every city, where you can join discussions and get to know people local to you. That way when you go to a munch, you will know someone there.

I am on Fet Life and all of the events in my city take place during my normal working hours. I have left several messages to the woman who organizes the events but she doesn't even respond to me.

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RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 7:53:34 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
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Craigslist

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Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

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RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 8:20:20 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: yourfnslave
i am a new sub in cleveland having a hard time finding a serious master any suggestions

Here's one... stop using phrases and thinking thoughts like "serious master". Honestly, this "serious master" pretty much ignores anyone who thinks that way. I really don't want any one true wayers in my life. For masters who are "one true way" themselves they're also not going to like it unless their way and yours matches up perfectly.

Other than that, all your reasons and excuses are, of course valid and hinder your efforts. But the bottom line reality remains... if you want to meet people then you're going to have to get out of your house and meet people.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 8:22:16 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
Other than that, all your reasons and excuses are, of course valid and hinder your efforts. But the bottom line reality remains... if you want to meet people then you're going to have to get out of your house and meet people.

Can I nominate this for sunny's quote of the day? I know it's more than one sentence, but it's a good quote.

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Post #: 11

RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 8:25:13 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Can I nominate this for sunny's quote of the day? I know it's more than one sentence, but it's a good quote.

I dunno... am I a serious enough master to get a SQOTD?

LOL.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LadyPact)

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Post #: 12

RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 9:44:34 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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My universal suggestion is probably also one of the most difficult:

Patience!

By your admission, you are new and by your join date you have been here just over 6 months.

I think if you were to slow down your approach (and possibly your reception) you will find the "serious" question will sort itself out very quickly.

Also by getting the rush out of your mindset and focusing on quality you will be more apt to find someone compatible with you.

There are some people new to submission who just want/need to serve and nearly anyone will seem to do at first.

My personal experience was that for me for submission to be _special_ there has to be a specificity to it: serving the right person... the person who is right for me and for whom I am a good fit.

It took 18 months for my One to find me here.

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RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 12:05:37 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
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I'm going to be rough on you, boy, so fasten your seat belt.

First: You're male and you want a Master - sounds like you are gay. In your profile, get rid of all that "Looking for Dom Women" junk. Get rid of the "bi-sexual" orientation. As a gay Dom, I pass by all bi-sexuals. I've tried a few. They all want to suck my cock and that's all. Bring out dildoes or massage their butts getting ready for the BIG fuck, and they run and hide. Of course, service is more than sex. OTOH: There are a few women in my life. Bridge club, dance class, and similar.... the occasional woman at a BDSM play party, but gays have their own parties, y'know? Oh, yeah the female clerks at grocery store and bank. LOL!

Point is, your profile is a TURN-OFF to most gay Dom Leathermen.

NEXT! And I'm surprised that those that looked at your profile didn't mention this - your profile is BLANK! Male subs looking for female Dommes are ALWAYS told "blank profiles don't cut it." Why are these comments gender-specific? Got me.... To be clear: FILL in your profile. Real life interests - sexual interests - past BDSM experiences (if none, so state) - what you're hoping to get out of a leather relationship - and the other side of that coin - what you BRING to a relationship. What are you looking for? Daddy, Master, combo, what? LD, local, business travel? ETC.

NEXT! Are you sitting around waiting for a Leather Top to approach you? If so, NEVER going to happen.... buyer's market here. Set up the search function. Write an interesting approach. NOT "Hawt pic, Sir."

Get out to gay bars - watch, listen, learn, flirt, chat. Pick up the gay rag and see what activities are listed. Flex is probably not the place I'd choose to meet a Leatherman. Go to CLASSES specifically designed for Gay men to learn about leather. There's even a different language!

NEXT! Stop the friggin' whining. LOL!

NEXT! If you're not gay, throw away this message and go look for a Mistress that will force you to suck dick. But first read ALL the strings about "forced bi."

<That should take about 5 or 6 years>

ETA: You say you're having a tough time finding a Master but didn't tell us squat about what you HAVE done. I suspect ZERO. Get off the dildoe and DO something, 'K?

Oh, and STOP reading the porn - isn't like that at all.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/11/2011 12:14:00 PM >

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"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 12:09:46 PM

lthrpup

Posts: 125
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CLAW is an annual event in your neighborhood that spans an entire weekend so you should be able to rub shoulders with fellow pervs. They probably have events or organizing meetings throughout the year. This suggestion is based on the bisexual orientation and looking for dominant men notations on your profile.

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RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 12:13:26 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

~FR~

I love you, Lance... wanna fuck? *grin*

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 16

RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 12:14:59 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

~FR~

I love you, Lance... wanna fuck? *grin*

Are you bi-sexual? LOL!

_____________________________

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"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 12:16:02 PM

LanceHughes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lthrpup
CLAW is an annual event in your neighborhood that spans an entire weekend so you should be able to rub shoulders with fellow pervs. They probably have events or organizing meetings throughout the year. This suggestion is based on the bisexual orientation and looking for dominant men notations on your profile.

Thanks for reminding me. CLAW (Cleveland Leather Annual Weekend) just happened a few weeks ago. BTW: CLAW is considered a gay event. Some women in vendors area, but .... considered a gay event.

ETA: Link for CLAW.... DAMN! Lance is so helpful.... http://clawinfo.org

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/11/2011 12:48:33 PM >

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"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 12:18:51 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

~FR~

I love you, Lance... wanna fuck? *grin*

Are you bi-sexual? LOL!

just for you, sexy ;)

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Post #: 19

RE: looking to serve - 7/11/2011 9:54:29 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
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As of this writing (check time-stamp) profile has not changed. Why do I even bother?

So that GT will ask for fucking? Nah - I can get that with a tiny CMail. Must be some other reason..... oh, yeah, so that there will be more gay BDSMers available? That didn't work in this instance.....

So that I can rant? Guess so. Can't think of any other reason. LOL!

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

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