Pain versus humiliation

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Pain versus humiliation

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Pain versus humiliation

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 5:24:24 AM

AFreeMan

Posts: 4
Joined: 12/25/2010
Status: offline

Hi all!

Which has a more profound effect upon you? Pain or humiliation?

Which do you think is a more effective form of discipline?

Just looking for thoughts and hoping to see where the thread leads,

A Free Man

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 5:36:43 AM

SerendipityWM

Posts: 19
Joined: 7/5/2011
Status: offline

I have a high pain threshold and I'm shy, so probably humiliation where I'm concerned. :/

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 6:49:30 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

That's like trying to compare apples to oranges. One is physical. The other mental.
Everyone will have a different answer as to which is more effective since it's dependent on the individual person.

Now to answer the op...
For me...pain has a more profound effect on me. I get very aroused from it.
Humiliation only emphasizes my self esteem issues and the end result isn't positive.

Discipline occurs in neither form. He uses words which are more effective than either pain or humiliation combined.

_____________________________

The Red

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 7:28:46 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14414
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AFreeMan

Which do you think is a more effective form of discipline?

Neither. For me the best form of discipline is telling I've done something wrong. Dealing with it and moving forward.

We use your choices as fun, play time......

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 8:02:20 AM

Asherscorp1

Posts: 143
Joined: 3/6/2011
Status: offline

Humiliation does nothing but breed resentment in me. I don't enjoy it, don't see any need for it and find it extremely difficult to submit to. Happily, Master doesn't enjoy it much in and of itself and has never used it for punishment or to express disappointment in me. So for me pain is more effective.

_____________________________

"The path to slavery is so narrow that two cannot walk upon it at the same time, hence why the slave must crawl behind." -- Unknown

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 11:40:44 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Which has a more profound effect upon you? Pain or humiliation?

Neither.
I like pain so much that I actively seek it out.
As for humiliation...one must first care about what others think of them to 'be humiliated' over something. I could care less about others and their thoughts of me, what I do, how I act, etc. To try and humiliate me would do nothing more than make that person look like an idiot.

quote:

Which do you think is a more effective form of discipline?

Since neither would affect me to any degree, using them for discipline would do nothing. Of course, I don't, and have never, been in the kind of dynamic where 'discipline', the kind of which you are referring to, was used as a means of 'control'. For me, a simple request to follow orders was all that was ever needed simply because I knew what the consequences of rebellion would be.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 11:44:49 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

Which has a more profound effect upon you? Pain or humiliation?
For Carol that would be "humiliation". For her, that profound effect would be profoundly bad.

Which do you think is a more effective form of discipline?
For Carol either would be extremely effective in the short term and very likely extremely ineffective in the bigger picture. It would be way simpler just to tell her how I want her behavior to change and let her do that. Carol's discipline, along with her strength and integrity come from within.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 11:49:40 AM

CeriseNin

Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline

Neither.

You did X. Don't do that again works best for me.

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 12:22:46 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

Neither, as far as discipline goes.

But as far as activities that he enjoys with me, I'd say humiliation has the most profound effect, because it gets in my head and stabs my heart. Without being careful, the effects can be quite negative. With his care in this practice, it can melt me into a little clinging ball at his feet.

Pain is pain - for me it's just physical. It is inflicted, dealt with, and goes away. Humiliation lingers.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 1:53:30 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I have an extremely low pain tolerance and humiliation is destructive to me. Beyond that, if I had to be punished to agree to do what he wanted, that says to me there's something lacking in the relationship. And if I have problems with an order, I fully expect that he will sit down and discuss it with me. Some orders aren't thought through properly or he could have made a mistake. Being human, it has happened on occasion.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/11/2011 4:11:14 PM

lthrpup

Posts: 125
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline

Humiliation emphasizes a role I have adopted so it reinforces something already present in my mind, hence it is less shocking to the system than limit-stretching pain. For me, humiliation makes more sense as a part of training and demonstrating relative positions in a relationship. It is something to welcome, embrace and ride into subspace. Pain can serve those functions too, but is more of a challenge to endure so it makes a better punishment in my case.

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/12/2011 12:29:55 AM

fadedshadow

Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline

i enjoy pain but not humiliation. i have enough difficulty with my self-confidence so i don't care for being humiliated

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to lthrpup)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/12/2011 2:23:23 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

First, welcome to the forums.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AFreeMan

Which has a more profound effect upon you? Pain or humiliation?

Pain - for the places it can take me has a much more profound effect on me, but it's a good effect.

Humiliation.. not so much because it's very hard to humiliate someone like me who likes damn near everything.

quote:

Which do you think is a more effective form of discipline?

If by discipline you mean a retribution for a wrong-doing, probably pain. If I stub my toe, I'm more careful to watch where I put my feet for a few days. As a means of punishment.. something which fits my *crime* works best for me. Also, if I remember the punishment but not the reason for it.. that's very ineffective and not a very good way to change my behavior.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/12/2011 10:39:56 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I hate both of them. So if there is a profound efect it would be very bad.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/12/2011 1:29:33 PM

PainObjectForUse

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/10/2011
Status: offline

I think what works best when comes to discipline or anything for that matter is to really know the person. Know what buttons to push and when to push it. Keep the person always on his/her toes, taking a card out of your sleeve unexpectedly, always reserving a surprise for the right moment. Or, in my case, disappointment in the form of ignoring me, works well to keep me disciplined.

_____________________________

"I may be submissive, but I am not your slave" by me.

- Yes , I suffer from the syndrome of over-generalization.

It's not so much what I write, but the way I write it.

(in reply to littleone35)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 7/12/2011 3:40:57 PM

Palliata

Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Neither. For me the best form of discipline is telling I've done something wrong. Dealing with it and moving forward.

We use your choices as fun, play time......

Couldn't agree with this more. That said, even if you consider those things punishments, you still have to include the personality of the person in question. There's no way we can say that. For a masochist, pain is meaningless. For a humiliation fetishist, humiliation is meaningless. There is no general case.

_____________________________

I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 8/1/2011 9:08:30 PM

freebounds

Posts: 39
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline

Hi AFree,

For me, a very specific form of humiliation is crazy hot and makes me feel loved. It has to do with facing my own shame for what is natural to me, and it hurts no one. Having to admit that in front of others makes me want to nearly die, but it also makes me feel healed. So, it's profound.

For discipline, pain is definitely the way to go. Despite a high pain tolerance, it's the assertion of control and the knowledge of what I am expected to do that is effective.

I'm curious. What is your answer to your own questions?

free

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 8/1/2011 9:26:06 PM

Fetters4U

Posts: 393
Joined: 5/25/2011
Status: offline

I do not believe in using them as discipline. I prefer praise and mild disapproval.

Pain and humiliation are best used for play.

< Message edited by Fetters4U -- 8/1/2011 9:32:12 PM >

_____________________________

Male-Dom-Straight

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up. -- Mae West
I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far. -- Mae West

To err is human; to edit, divine...

(in reply to freebounds)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 8/4/2011 8:26:46 AM

nephandi

Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline

Greetings

Humiliation have a much greater effect in making me feel submissive than pain, however I tend to enjoy pain as a part of humiliation not just for it's own sake, accepting pain for the pleasure of someone else is a form of humiliation it itself. As for discipline I always found communication and talking about expectations, successes and failures to be much more effective than any form of punishment.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad

(in reply to AFreeMan)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: Pain versus humiliation - 8/6/2011 10:32:03 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline

humiliation for me is not good and elads me to bad places master also doenst like it or use it. pain i love and we do have funishments occasionally if i have doen something wrong and i cant get rid of the guilts then short sharp non exciting pain works. most effective is the good girl and a stroke of my hair or dont do x and me feeling his disapproval at somthing has the most profund effect

(in reply to nephandi)

Profile

Post #: 20