RE: Can you take what you dish out?

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 5/19/2006 6:43:14 PM

Phoenixandnika

Posts: 748
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: Aberdeen Maryland
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Kev,

Let me tie ya up and beat ya just once!

or...

Dress ya in a nice long sliming skirt, a nice top, and some combat boots.

*winks*

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 5/21/2006 7:38:30 AM

SmokeyM

Posts: 120
Joined: 5/2/2006
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For each its different. As a Dominant I can either be Sadistic as hell, or totally sensual. As a submissive, well I'm not very good at it but I'm a total S.A.M. Doesn't mean once in awhile I like the sensual feelings either. Its all to eachothers tastes in life.

That is one of the best joys I think of this lifestyle, its what you make of it and what you and your partner like!

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 5/21/2006 10:13:57 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
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My husband's and my likes, dislikes and limits are very different. I wouldn't necessarily enjoy having done to me what I do to him, but he likes it, so it works. The opposite is true as well. For example, I love having my face slapped, and he abhors it. He likes being spanked, and I'm pretty indifferent towards it. There are common elements that we enjoy, but we indulge our differences as well.

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~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 5/21/2006 4:25:58 PM

forluvofmaria

Posts: 59
Joined: 5/16/2006
From: mountains of MD
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I could take what I dish out, but Why would I? Hmmm, I think I would be a lousy sub, always in trouble. ;)
Because I said so.....
Thats why, thats enough.
M.

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Live, Love and Laugh
Life is to be enjoyed, appreciated and treasured

"Only the Heart knows how to find what IS Precious"
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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 5/21/2006 5:28:56 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
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It shouldn't matter whether or not one partner can take what they dish out. The important thing is that both partners are striving to please each other.

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 5/22/2006 10:23:41 PM

MissVictoriaX

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/8/2006
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I identify as a top, but I've found bottoming can be enjoyable and educational. I can get into a good flogging, even a caning. Also being tied up. It's more the sensations that I enjoy though. I don't have any desire to do more submissive things like verbal humiliation, worship, etc. I can take some pretty heavy corporal, but not as heavy as what I dish out with my most masochistic subs.

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 5/23/2006 12:22:06 AM

MLadyQueenowands

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/26/2005
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Ok, well I was in an 8 month relationship with a lovingly sadistic male dom before I acted on my desire to be dominant. The penny dropped that even though I took what I did because I loved him at that time it was not my true nature and my correct place was on the other end of the flogger. I actually got little out of the play unless it was linked to intercourse, and the novelty factor. The things I did try were good because it helped me sort out where my true turn ons were, they lost their attraction once I tried them and the turn on did not return until I was the doer not the doee. I was quite inexperienced sexually at the outset of the relationship, this was one reason I did not initially act on my dominant desires. Having the courage to step out in this arena did cost me the relationship as there wasnt enough overlap left but we are still friends. I had a lot to come to terms with in terms of my sexual Me. So yes, I could take what was dished out, but it was not the high I get from dominance and I have virtually no desire to participate in submissive play at all.

~ MyLady Queenowands

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 9/18/2006 9:49:45 AM

ticklishmelissa

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Joined: 9/18/2006
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certainly can-i love to tickle people insane-so i have a lota laughs

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 9/18/2006 12:11:56 PM

Nuke718

Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
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As mentioned by previous posters, some activities are gender specific. But, to answer the original question... Yes. My max play level as a bottom is at least as heavy as what I have done as a top. Now scene to scene, and partner to partner things have varied.

But on neither end is it reaaaaaaaaly heavy. I don't hink of myself oas sadistic or masochistic. Some of the activities I have engaged in may hav som of my 'nilla friends thinking "ouch" but those familiar with the concepts would say I play ligt (to medium LoL). Totally off topic tho, I have been totally fascinated by waitching seriously heavy (scary to some) S/M scenes in the past. Watching the players act and react says a lot about what makes other folks tick.

N }:-

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 9/20/2006 9:49:51 PM

ticotn

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/7/2006
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well, my fav is bondage. and I love playing both sides of it immensely. Other things I enjoy are gender specific ro within role play that would be impossible or rediculous to play out if the roles were reversed

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 9/20/2006 9:55:07 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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This is among the reasons I'm not a switch, because I definitely can't take even 1/4 of the hurt/treatment I dish out/expect from a sub. In my defense, I'm fairly open minded as it relates to his pleasure otherwise.
I'm all for the golden rule except as it relates to my intimate relationship.

M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 9/26/2006 12:34:37 AM

shadevarr

Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
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I can take what I dish out with ease and I am still trying to find where the top end of my pain tolerance is. I would never admistister anything pain-wise that I couldn't take myself, it is just how I am. Now, it amuses me when they can't take the pain and I get to belittle them for not being able to take something that light and I never step down from a dare from my subs when it comes to them trying to return the pain back. I do sport a few scars from the more desperate attempts including having nails tear skin off my neck. I enjoyed it but I know most people don't.

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 9/26/2006 9:50:28 AM

rick121x

Posts: 12
Joined: 7/5/2005
From: Las Vegas NV
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As a straight male crossdresser "Domme-switch" who plays only with females, it has been my experience that (most) females seem to be willing to take a whole lot more than I have been willing to take. It is my style that "my play" is tailored to the tastes and willingness of my bottom - and not tailored simply to "what I do". The "playing field" is never the same with "bottoms", for they bring different moods, and experience levels, and tastes, and imagined scenes, and pain thresholds - not to mention physical limitations.

Sooooo, as it is so clear to me that it is rational and logical and considerate to play with a submissive within and around her special world of tastes and needs, and so it is with me when I am in a bottom role. Typically the scene that I love the most is one directed at sensual-sexual stimulation and excitation. That is what I like to do with her, and Ohhh, I do love that part for myself! When I have elected to bottom for a woman, who has turned out to be a pain-giver enthusiast - I am not very happy about it! And it is true, that at social parties, negotiations are not often thoroughly reviewed with enough detail.... It is hard for me to believe that some of the ladies that I have tied and flogged have done it with little more than a "...sure, let's do it!" kind of reply. When I bottom, I really try to make sure that "she" knows what I would like, what my limits are, and the mood that I would enjoy. I really don't think that I am too picky.

A scene that I have enjoyed, and love every single time, is: At a social party, I am the domme for our playscenes, with the remainder of the party is simply social activity. I really don't enjoy the "Master-slave" notions or similar to that... Later, as we drive home, I still enjoy having her wearing my cuffs, collar and maybe a chain or two. However, as we enter her or my abode, the scene gently begins to change and eventually results in the bondage or chains applied to me! And she gets to relieve her sensual-sexual tensions of the earlier play-scenes on my crossdressed but nevertheless male body. Now ,hopefully, her SM is primarily directed towards the end result of intercourse - which could easily be terminated if my uncomfortability threshold is pushed too far. I just hate it when that happens....

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 9/26/2006 6:46:42 PM

MaamJay

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Hmmm this one had M/me thinking! Generally, the tastes are similar, and the limits are the same eg no scat either way! I enjoy giving and receiving golden showers, I enjoy mild torture on the rack as well as inflicting the same, I enjoy using ropes and wearing them, I enjoy spanking and flogging as well as being spanked and flogged. I'm not heavily into CBT as a Domme ... and Master does the equivalent with the bits i do have LOL! I'm not into verbal abuse on either side. I do enjoy both giving and receiving service, of a sexual and nonsexual nature. However the differences are definitely of degrees, especially in impact play. I have not yet found a boy who can take anywhere near the amount of spanking that i can ... and given that I am wielding only My hand or a paddle with far less force than Master's BIG hand, they are WAYYYYY below my tolerance! When they bravely peg out at maybe "75" ... and I tell them i have taken 250 from Master, they generally look at Me with utter awe LOL! In that way I've never found that admitting to being sub has ever damaged My image as a Domme.

Mistress Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 9/27/2006 6:18:39 AM

RedSavageSlave

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Joined: 9/12/2006
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As a top, I am a very physical sadist and mental control freak...not so much into the emotional aspects of it.

As a bottom, I am looking for a very different level of relationship. I am very into the mental control aspects, not so high on the physical masochist (but willing to be trained to a higher level) and to some extent... there has to be an emotional connection for me.

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 9/30/2006 1:26:28 AM

Dollbecky

Posts: 197
Joined: 10/22/2005
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I try never to do anything to a sub I haven't had myself espically given my big love affair with electricity.....but two things trip me up; CBT and stingy impact play/toys those are two things beyond me :)

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 9/30/2006 3:26:25 AM

JustCatherine

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Joined: 8/29/2006
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Personally I can take more than i can give, lol as a Domme im a softie. . . although i do love pushing limits, and seeing how far i can push the one im playing with. . . .

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 10/1/2006 8:45:18 AM

teamnoir

Posts: 226
Joined: 4/5/2005
From: San Francisco Bay Area California
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For me, the answer depends on how we look at things. In terms of absolute behaviors, they're different, yes.

However, in terms of the things that matter - that we're doing things we both want, it's consensual, trust is involved, there's some degree of reassurance and some degree of challenge, we're exploring together, the spirituality works, hopefully for both of us, I'm really doing pretty much the same thing either way. The only difference is that we have different skills and different interests.

My play varies as much from partner to partner as it does from top to bottom.

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 10/1/2006 8:48:46 AM

Frank01

Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
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I only list as a switch for one reason. I'm willing to bottom to learn technique.

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RE: Can you take what you dish out? - 10/2/2006 8:16:52 AM

Slipstreme

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Joined: 1/1/2006
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In pain, I am as much a masochist or more so, than a sadist. In control, I don't bottom in activities that require giving up control. I am a Dominant, not a submissive and have no submissive needs, so there is a large barrier I have in giving up control, even in minute amounts.

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