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ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds

For you it may be something else, but I know if I do a lot of topping, especially when I first started, I had that selfish "Hey it's my turn!" mood a lot. I was not as familiar with how to gratify my own needs as a top, as I did as a bottom. As a bottom I knew what pushed my buttons, what left me feeling complete or content. As a top I was still finding out what -I- enjoyed most, and often times I ended up defaulting to what the sub wanted, instead of what I did. Bottoming from the top can be satisfying at times, but for me it's not sexually gratifying. I enjoy giving my partner a good time, but it wasn't fulfilling my needs sexually.

In time I found those activities I enjoyed most while on the top, the ways to make it satisfying and gratifying and how to feel content at the end. Then I had to explain to my partner I wasn't just topping any more.. sometimes it was definitely domination, I had to get in touch with my selfish side I guess, and they had to accept my wants and needs had changed, or find a different relationship.

I still have those times when I want to go "hey no, it's my turn to be the bottom!" But ultimately you can't make yourself something you're not, if you are still primarily subby and need that more frequently, just always make it clear to your partner, so there's no soreness about someone being unclear about expectations.