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New to site - 3/29/2004 8:08:41 AM   
badgirl


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/29/2004
Status: offline
Masters/Mistresses
as a new person to this site, looking for 24/7 r/t, have had one experience for only 6 months with an inexperienced Master.
How do i find the right one, to mold me, shape me and help me to learn the true value of finding only one Master to Serve

< Message edited by badgirl -- 3/29/2004 9:29:38 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New to site - 3/29/2004 12:54:56 PM   
inyouagain


Posts: 418
Joined: 1/6/2004
Status: offline
Hello and welcome to the collarme message board. There are several posts within the board where the issues of seeking online meetings, versus seeking BDSM groups local to your area, and attending munches are discussed. There are also many sources of information posted to these threads for locating groups local to you.

I would suggest reading the existing board threads, utilizing posted sources of information and groups listings. You are aware of the personal's section of collarme, which allows searching by gender, location and keyword searching, etc.

Also, I would suggest reading the Administrative Announcements and message board guidelines for each forum. The first part of your post resembled a personal's listing, and in your best interests you should be aware of the guidelines for the message board. The latter part of your post asks an age old question.

There is indeed a good variety of information here already, you just need to read messages and threads to find what applies to your specific needs. This message board community has some really nice and helpful members, and a spice of otherwise, but your presence here will be what you make of it.

Grab a cup of java and dig-in, read and research what is here already, and then make inquiries to expand or clarify as necessary.

Best wishes and good luck.

Inyouagain

(in reply to badgirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New to site - 3/29/2004 1:18:02 PM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline
Changing your profile so that you are listed as a submissive rather than a dominant might be a start . Here are a few things that might help:

1. Don't waste time looking for "the one". At your age and level of exposure, you aren't likely to find "the one". If you did, it would be dumb beginner's luck. If you put pressure on yourself to seek "the one" right now, you'll still be seeking "the one" five years from now, but you'll be carrying the baggage of several failed attempts at "the one" along with you. I've seen this scenario play itself out way too often over the years. This isn't to say that it's impossible that the first man whose collar you wear will keep you forever, but go into your early experiences knowing that you have a lot of developing to do.

2. Find a man with as much experience as possible, who enjoys working with developing novices. Don't take it on faith that because someone says that they are a "trainer" or very experienced that they really know what they are doing. If anyone tells you that they are a "certified trainer" or "true master", run. Ask lots of questions about how they go about developing a new submissive or slave, and what exactly it is that they teach them, and how. For some people, training means pressing the limits of what you can tolerate, progressing you from milder to more extreme (and often more painful or frightening) forms of play. Others tend more to train a a sub or slave to service and pleasure; focusing more on developing in you a mindset of selfless service and devotion, and possibly developing your sexual potential and responsiveness. There are many variations. Ask lots of questions.

3. Accept no bullshit. If you want a 24/7 situation, find someone who is genuinely open to that arrangement, and in a position to keep you. Before begging or accepting a collar, and even before serving him sexually or otherwise, insist on knowing everything about him. Where he lives, what he does for a living, phone numbers, etc. Does he have other subs or slaves? A wife or girlfriend who theoretically have agreed to an "arrangement"? If so, and you are open to a poly arrangement, talk to the women privately. Make sure that you will be welcome. If you fail to follow this piece of advice, you'll end up being a married or attached man's illicit snack, and probably more than once, before you find what you are looking for. If that's OK with you, feel free to ignore this one. If it's not, you'd better pay attention.

4. Be willing to accept a few hard knocks along the way . Accept right now that there are going to be some false-starts, hard knocks, mistakes, and tears along the way. If you can't, or won't, you are better off giving up right now and looking for a safe republican to marry. In the years that I have been in this life, I can tell you that it is, almost without exception, the submissive or slave who keeps a positive outlook, even in the face of the disappointments and heart breaks, who eventually finds happiness. The rest just end up prematurely old, used up, and bitter because with each disappointment, they become a little less able to be happy.

There you go, for what it is worth. May you have a long and delightful journey ahead of you.

Take care of yourself.

Leonidas.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 3/29/2004 1:19:52 PM >

(in reply to badgirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New to site - 3/29/2004 2:17:53 PM   
belongtoyou


Posts: 168
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas



3. Accept no bullshit. If you want a 24/7 situation, find someone who is genuinely open to that arrangement, and in a position to keep you. Before begging or accepting a collar, and even before serving him sexually or otherwise, insist on knowing everything about him. Where he lives, what he does for a living, phone numbers, etc. Does he have other subs or slaves? A wife or girlfriend who theoretically have agreed to an "arrangement"? If so, and you are open to a poly arrangement, talk to the women privately. Make sure that you will be welcome. If you fail to follow this piece of advice, you'll end up being a married or attached man's illicit snack, and probably more than once, before you find what you are looking for. If that's OK with you, feel free to ignore this one. If it's not, you'd better pay attention.

Leonidas.



Leonidas,

Wish you had written this post back in January.....
Goodness knows i've had a few bumps in the road, but i can say that i am happy right now!

Cheers,

~rain~

(in reply to Leonidas)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New to site - 3/29/2004 3:06:55 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Goodness knows i've had a few bumps in the road, but i can say that i am happy right now!


I'm so glad you are happy now rain, i know you've had a rough ride.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to belongtoyou)
Profile   Post #: 5
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