quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

I have a serious problem and I don't know what forum to put this on other than this one.  My best friend is a very active user on this site and she has a stalker.  The only evidence of this behavior that she has is on this site, or a solitary email that is four months old.  In it he said he would kill her S.O. so that they could marry if she wanted him to.  There are other emails, but this one is the surest sign of a mental instability and stalker behavior, except maybe the one where he threatens: "Either I collar you, or you never see me again."  I have already spoken with this individual and secured his promise to never speak to her or her S.O. ever again, never to speak about their relationship online again, and also to basically remove himself from her life completely and totally.  Unfortunately, neither the spirit of these promises, nor the threat to disappear if the collar didn't go on were upheld.  Since then he has never spoken to her or about her in any way, shape, or form, but he has been following all of her posts.  Everywhere she posts, he has to add a post.  His posts are almost always off topic, and he has even followed her into areas that he has never been before, just to post on one of the forum threads she has shown an interest in.  He is attempting to saturate her experience on collarme.com with himself in an asanine attempt to get her to fall hopelessly in love with him and reconcile their relationship, and it is extremely upsetting to the both of us, to the point of outright rage.  I am at my wits end.  I can't really go to the police, because there is nothing that they can really do about online activity.  I can't get in touch with the admins and moderators, there are no links or instructions on how to do so.  Besides, we have already brought this to the moderator's attention once.  I can't do anything illegal, no matter how much I want to.  So, what do I do?

quote:

ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

There are other emails, but this one is the surest sign of a mental instability and stalker behavior, except maybe the one where he threatens: "Either I collar you, or you never see me again." 

 I personally would not consider the above statement a stalker threat.  Perhaps more of an insecure partner, but certianly not *life* threatening.

Since then he has never spoken to her or about her in any way, shape, or form, but he has been following all of her posts.  Everywhere she posts, he has to add a post.  His posts are almost always off topic, and he has even followed her into areas that he has never been before, just to post on one of the forum threads she has shown an interest in. 

So he's not spoken to her but leaves posts where she leaves posts?  Again, it sounds more like an insecure and jilted lover who is trying to maintain some form or presence in her life.  This is just my opinion for what its worth, but again, this does not seem like stalker-type behavior. 
 
He is attempting to saturate her experience on collarme.com with himself in an asanine attempt to get her to fall hopelessly in love with him and reconcile their relationship, and it is extremely upsetting to the both of us, to the point of outright rage. 

So?  Let him attempt.  Some people have a hard time dealing with rejection/disappointment and continue to try and coerce or convince or manipulate the uninterested party to maintain contact with them. If this has you in a state of "outright rage", perhaps you should look within and ask yourself why.  This person's harmless behavior can only enrage you if you want to be enraged.

I am at my wits end.  I can't really go to the police, because there is nothing that they can really do about online activity. 

The police cant do anything about it because what you describe is not the behavior of a stalker. Maybe a pain in the ass, but not a stalker.

I can't get in touch with the admins and moderators, there are no links or instructions on how to do so.

You click onto the word "support" at the bottom of every collarme page.  But I doubt they can control him either.  You need to change your reaction to it.  Ignore it and not let him get the better of you.   Eventually, *if ignored*  he will tire of it. ( For heaven's sake, this is the advice I give my 12 yr old daughter when someone is teasing her in school) But right now, he is getting the reaction that he craves and you are feeding the very fire that you claim to abhor.   

Besides, we have already brought this to the moderator's attention once.  I can't do anything illegal, no matter how much I want to. 

You want to do something "illegal", while condemning another for something that isn't even against the law?

So, what do I do?

You let it go, before you cause your own demise over something that you are magnifying into more than what it is.

Sorry, if I'm blunt.  But come on!  

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ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

In light of that fact, she needs to take the threat (print out) of killing her S.O. to the police and have him arrested.

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

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ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

Loki, you rock.  Unfortunately, she doesn't want to do this.  Even though stalker-boy has broken their agreement (sorry, agreementS), she does not wish to.

Then in that case, she has effectively tied your hands. You have no other options unless this man will somehow respond to your appeals for no further contact, which I highly doubt will happen. Anything beyond that on your part could also be seen as criminal. I am sure the Moderators could step in...but that really wouldn't solve your problem would it?

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ORIGINAL: Lashra

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ORIGINAL: mistoferin

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ORIGINAL: VandalHeart

Loki, you rock.  Unfortunately, she doesn't want to do this.  Even though stalker-boy has broken their agreement (sorry, agreementS), she does not wish to.

Then in that case, she has effectively tied your hands. You have no other options unless this man will somehow respond to your appeals for no further contact, which I highly doubt will happen. Anything beyond that on your part could also be seen as criminal. I am sure the Moderators could step in...but that really wouldn't solve your problem would it?

Yes unless SHE really wants do put an end to it, it will go on. I know I've been in stalked IRL. She needs to disappear from his radar as best she can or take steps legally to stop him. The problem with stalkers is the longer you let it go on and the more threatened you appear the more you empower them.
I don't know this woman and I'm not saying this is what she's doing but, could she be allowing it go on for attention getting purposes?

~Lashra

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirei

If the person has written a death threat to her.  She needs to take that email with her to the police and get a PPO(personal protection order) against him.  It will only last for 6 months, and during that time she needs to keep track of him and if he is still doing, and making those threats.
If the killing threat was like 6 months or longer and has not come up again....your less likely to be able to get a PPO. 
A PPO does one thing.  It puts a flag in the police that you have had trouble with this guy.  It may not entirely help you out, but it may help others down the road, if they have to do the same. 
 The bad thing about all this is that from what I hear it is all being done on the internet.  If its being done by word of mouth locally too you have a much better ground to stand on.  If there is a enough of you that fear for this person, then maybe all of you should go to the monitors for help.  Record the email and keep it.  If they do nothing and something happens, and she has a PPO against him they can be held maybe in some way accountable....but don't quote me on that.

Koneko