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MagiksSlave -> RE: Sadism, Masochism, and "roleplaying." (9/19/2011 6:09:17 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
A fairly half baked concept, but one I hope will spawn some discussion.
I'm a sensual sadist who only plays with consenting partners. However, I would say that "hardcore masochists" are not at the top of my list as ideal partners, but only because my enjoyment is often centered on the premise that the man is suffering for my pleasure, not clouded by too much - for lack of a better term - self indulgence.
People sometimes dismiss the term "roleplaying" because it seems like they think it cheapens their BDSM experience or means they are just "playing" at a role. But if I dominate a masochist on any level, I expect and desire him to contribute to my enjoyment - as a sadist - by understanding and grasping the important of roleplaying. Essentially he has to convince me that his suffering is authentic and for me, despite how much he's loving it, turned on by it, and may even be enjoying it more than me.
By roleplaying, he's not "faking" anything. His pain is real and his suffering is real. But what I am asking him to do is experience those sensations through a different emotional filter. I can help him with this by creating my own emotional filter - essentially, I am roleplaying also. I am a cruel, heartless, mean, sadistic bitch who absolutely delights in seeing him suffer for me. So yeah, I am "pretending" to be an unforgiving sadist, and he's "pretending" to be an unwilling victim. To many, this is mere roleplaying and not authentic.
I was watching a movie recently, "Buried." It's a movie with Ryan Reynolds buried alive by kidnappers and the entire movie was filmed with him in a coffin. I was fascinated and aroused with some of the visuals and desperation (only because I knew it was fake, I would not feel that way for a real person in that situation), but more importantly, I get fascinated with how a man connects with that level of helplessness and does it authentically. He knows he's safe, but to be an actor, he has to emotionally achieve a level of authentic fear. In an interview with the actor, he shared a couple of tactics:
He did not rehearse at all, but started with the filming so he'd be unfamiliar and it would be terrifying. They filmed it chronologically, so the desperation could build. And they built the various coffins strong enough so that his struggling could be absolutely real - he didn't pretend to try to get out, he actually did, causing a variety of minor self injuries in the process.
This concept is fascinating to me; I relate this to what I want from a man - masochist or not - when he submits to me. We both know he wants it, and we both know he is aroused by it (just like Ryan Reynolds knows he's not dying in a box). But for me to get the highest level of arousal and pleasure, I need him to emotionally endure what is designed as a fake reality, but his emotions are real and his suffering is real, just as my cruelty is real and my sadism is real.
When a masochist only takes it to the level of, "Wow Mistress that's hot, keep hitting me, oh yeah that's awesome!" or even just accepts it in stoic, self involved silence, or worse, just drips in self indulgence and makes me feel objectified, I can't get what I need. All it requires though is a commitment from him to reach that place emotionally, and it's not just "roleplaying," It's something entirely different.
Do any other sadists relate to this -- or mashocists see it from the other side, needing that suspension of disbelief, almost, from their sadistic partner?
Akasha
I get this 100% I have found the last few years that yes I harber a tiny little sadist within me [&:] and for me it isn't so much about inflicting the pain as it is about the REACTION to the pain. If the person is enjoying it then I am not. However, even if they mearly PRETEND to be suffering-I like to hear begging and pleading even if it is insincere... well yeah I think you get it.
MS- with the tiny little sadist inside
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