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RE: Stress relief - 9/23/2011 9:54:35 PM   
RexDarcy


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/23/2010
From: Arizona
Status: offline 		Swimming does good things for Me. I also crank up music and write short stories. Losing Myself in a fictional plot that I work through gives Me an escape from reality for a short while.

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RE: Stress relief - 9/23/2011 11:35:08 PM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		Besides sweaty nasty sex, excersize of some kind. Usually the kind that leaves you feeling spent and exhausted. I prefer swimming.

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RE: Stress relief - 9/24/2011 12:56:40 PM   
HisPet21


Posts: 395
Status: offline 		Yoga helps me out when I am feeling stressed. Believe it or not, it can actually be quite strenuous, so it counts as legit exercise AND it has a spiritual element to it. (I know. The last bit sounded crazy to me too, the first time a yoga instructor told me this).

Also, jogging to loud, awesome music helps. When I am REALLY upset, I jog to said music and think about whatever is upsetting me until I have cried it all out and have completely and utterly exhausted myself. I follow it up with a long evening of sleep, and try to follow up in the morning with something relaxing...some nice white tea and a book by an open window works wonders.

Puppy kisses (well...kitty kisses for me), but you've already figured that one out. :)

Going to a matinee movie by yourself and sneaking in Starbucks!

Feel better bunny!

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Stress relief - 9/24/2011 1:41:02 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Condolences on the loss of your father; losing a parent is very difficult, no matter how old you are and what your relationship was.

I do a number of things on a very regular basis to recharge my spiritual batteries, as it were:

Take long walks in nature.

Listen to music.

Do kind things for myself (from something extravagant like a full day spa session to a long warm tub soak).

Cook for people (even if it is just the man or the cats.)

Yoga/meditation a/o your idea of relaxation techniques.

Go swimming (preferably outdoors, but a pool will do).

Sit by the ocean or a large body of water.

I so admire the depth of your self knowledge in realizing you need a sabbatical.

I've had serious issues with depression in the past and "take it day to day works" for me. I make simple daily goals to strive for, like: get up, get dressed, eat meals, bathe/shower, have contact with other human beings, sleep (or try). If that is going well I might factor in some simple household chores a/o some exercise.

It's great you have pets. Indulge your fur people and they will pay it back exponentially.

Above all, do not let others' ideas of how you should handle your grieving process effect you. Some people love to rush that process. Don't let this happen. Allow yourself to grieve. Spend the time necessary to contemplate and evaluate your sadness and what (potential) lessons life is trying to teach you via this loss.

Take care of yourself, please, your presence is sorely missed.
.










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RE: Stress relief - 9/24/2011 2:31:18 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		You have received many great answers here.  Mine may be as well received, but it is from the heart hon.

Losing a parent sucks.  It rips your heart in ways you never could have imagined.

Grieving is a process.  I am not sure how long ago your dad passed, but grieving takes time.  IMHO there is no way to speed it up or change it.  You have to allow it to happen, laughing when you can and crying when you feel the need.

Fighting the process will only prolong it.

stages_of_grief

This is a very condensed version, but it has the gist in it.  If your dad was helped by hospice, I highly recommend reaching out to them.  They are awesome with helping the survivors also.

No matter what, just remember there is no right or wrong way, just allow your mind and body to go where they need to.  Sometimes, that is lying around for a few days and just wallowing in your misery, sometimes it is doing all you can to try for normalcy.

The main thing you need to remember is to breathe in and breathe out.  The rest will come in time, I promise.

My deepest sympathies for your loss.  Time does help, then, 26 years later you get all teary eyed when you try to help some stranger on the internet adjust to membership in this club no one wants to join.

(((((((hugs)))))))


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RE: Stress relief - 9/24/2011 3:03:38 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		First, condolences on your loss.

Second, if you aren't now willing to take medication, would you try a vitamin? Because one or two 5000 IU Vitamin D III can be helpful.

Third, keep the rest of your life as positive as possible. Make a list of the things you used to enjoy and don't do anymore. And try to do one of them a day. Making a pot of chai instead of a mug with a tea bag dangling in it could be a start. Don't watch or listen to scary or depressing tv. Watch comedy shows or old comedy movies instead of Criminal Minds or other such.

Clean out your underwear drawer and organize it. It take fifteen minutes and you will feel as though you got something accomplished. Set an alarm for 15 minutes so you know you won't be at it for an hour.

Bubble bath, breakfast in bed, new book of the happy ending kind.

And grief therapy is essential.

Hang in there, and know there are people here sending good thoughts your way.


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RE: Stress relief - 9/24/2011 3:25:37 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Sorry that you're having such a rough time--my condolences again on your recent loss.

I've had to address depression several times in my life and it sounds like you're doing a lot of good things.  I try to avoid junk food (which I love...and crave when I get depressed), I don't drink/do drugs so that's not an option anyway.  I found that daily swimming was an excellent way to just clear my head of all the chatter and just exercise.  (esp since it involves focus on breathing and movement)  I have often meditated as well but haven't done that in years.

I also know that  finding creative outlets (writing, painting, drawing etc.) are great for me and keeping myself busy- which includes reaching out to be social even when I don't want to.  Sitting home alone has never helped my depression.  Calling up a friend to go to dinner, a movie, hiking etc. has always been a good solution, even a temporary one.

I also see a counselor regularly--I love my therapist, and these days only go when I need it, but a good therapist is worth his/her weight in gold.  There are just things you can't/don't want to share with others somethings....

good luck and I hope you're feeling better soon

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RE: Stress relief - 9/24/2011 5:09:59 PM   
HisPet21


Posts: 395
Status: offline
quote:

Don't watch or listen to scary or depressing tv. Watch comedy shows or old comedy movies instead of Criminal Minds or other such.


I actually find sad movies cathartic when I am upset. I mean, I wouldn't watch them all the time, but watching such films helps me meditate on my own losses and come to terms with them. But each to his own, and certainly some comedy added to the mix would be helpful!

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RE: Stress relief - 9/24/2011 6:01:51 PM   
ashjor911


Posts: 7793
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: balcony, having a Smoke
Status: offline 		Damn it, I am late again.
they took all of the good stuff, so I have to go with the Middle stuff,

I recommend taking some timee off, go see the world, always big fan of Venice, Vienna, & if you like to see some history, Cairo is my biggest recommendation,
However, taking some friend or (friends) with you.
Just run away for few days.....

(once I was told that the dead dont want us to cry for them, they want us to be happy)


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RE: Stress relief - 9/25/2011 9:20:56 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Thank you so very much everyone for your kindness and your wonderful advice.

I have printed out each response and they are now pinned on my study wall so that I see them every day, and make sure I continue to do the positive things.

I have added meditation and vitamins to my regimen, and I'm being a little kinder on myself. I thought that 7 weeks after it happened I'd be in a good place to move forward, but it's still so hard. I miss him so much, but I'm scared to say it out loud to family because I know I will cry and it will distress them.

I am arranging, through my doctor, to see a grief counsellor. I need to stabilise my emotions a little more before I return to work, but there's not so much pressure to rush back for another week or two.

Again, thank you all

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RE: Stress relief - 9/25/2011 9:25:02 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		I'm glad that you will be seeing a grief counselor, sweetie. Meantime I recommend the Zeph method of stress release:

Rent two movies, one of which is scary and/or full of suspense, the other a good comedy. Watch the scary/suspenseful one first to raise stress to full levels, then watch the comedy which releases all that built up stress. Worked for me every time.

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RE: Stress relief - 9/25/2011 11:01:01 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		hehehe Zephy - I have quite a large library of movies, half of which are slasher/horror and the other is great comedy.

Guess what I'm gonna do tomorrow evening

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RE: Stress relief - 9/25/2011 11:23:46 AM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		It works like a charm although it is better if you haven't seen the movie before so you don't know what's going to happen. HOWEVER if the movie still scares the shit out of you, go for it. Which reminds me that I should probably do the same for myself.

Love ya bunny, if you ever want to talk you know where to find me.

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RE: Stress relief - 9/25/2011 11:50:53 AM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline 		Good luck.  You are going to survive.  (((((hugs))))))

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Stress relief - 9/25/2011 11:55:29 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Thank you Zephy, and thank you JAS....

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Stress relief - 9/25/2011 1:46:58 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
I thought that 7 weeks after it happened I'd be in a good place to move forward, but it's still so hard. I miss him so much, but I'm scared to say it out loud to family because I know I will cry and it will distress them.

I am arranging, through my doctor, to see a grief counselor.


Remember, that they also need to cry and are afraid to do so in front of you. Do cry together instead of alone, much more healing.

I didn't begin to get back to normal until almost two years after my mother died. Don't expect to be anywhere near recovery in this short a time. The time takes what it takes, but if you feel stuck in your grief that's a good point to talk to a grief counselor also.


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RE: Stress relief - 9/25/2011 5:50:02 PM   
Andryanna


Posts: 42
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline 		First off, sorry for you loss.

I've lost a couple of siblings and I can understand about grief.
Exercise and eating healthy does help things a great deal, especially when you can follow a routine.

Everyone is unique and we all have our own ways to deal with the anxiety of it all.
Whatever works for you is best.
When I feel myself slipping into a depression I find something to occupy my mind until it passes. I sometimes immerse myself in work, I play music and attempt to learn difficult pieces, I'll just relax and watch movies in bed with a big bowl of ice cream.
What works for me best is making christmas wreaths out of pine cones, or I clean my entire apartment from top to bottom.

Find what works for you, and ensure it keeps your mind clear and happy.

I don't think we ever get over our grief, but we can learn how to cope and live with it.


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RE: Stress relief - 9/25/2011 9:04:03 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
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Status: offline 		Take the pizza off yer head.  

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RE: Stress relief - 9/26/2011 2:25:05 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		gone...

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RE: Stress relief - 9/26/2011 7:01:44 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I miss him so much, but I'm scared to say it out loud to family because I know I will cry and it will distress them.



I think everyone has covered what I would say but this comment of yours jumped out at me bunny.  I would not be surprised if all of your family is feeling exactly the same and you are all walking on eggshells, keeping your emotions and thoughts in check because you don't want to upset the others.  I know this is what I and my family did after my brother died.

One day when we were all together my niece (his daughter) who was 9 at the time just mentioned something about how she missed her daddy and the sandwiches he used to make her for lunch sometimes and it broke the ice.  Suddenly through our tears we were sharing memories and our thoughts about him and yes, our grief as well.  The tears flowed freely but for the first time since his death, we also allowed ourselves to smile a little and even laugh at some of the silly things he would do.

so please, talk to your family, and talk to your friends.  I bet they are also nervous about broaching the subject with you in fear of upsetting you yet are feeling at a loss as to how to support you.

hugs and love from one who knows xxxx


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