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RE: Prenups - 9/23/2011 10:35:47 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

This came up in another thread. What are people's feelings on this? Personally, I wouldn't dream of getting married without one.

I'll never have one.

Might as well say right at the altar...."Honey, I love you and trust you forever....but, my lawyers tell me you need to sign this".

Why not just say...."trust me baby...you're definitely the one, but just in case you're not.....listen....it's just a small issue....sign here, here, here, here....right there (see the little sticky note), over there, just a squiggly right there hon....just initials....aaaaaaand.....riiiiiiiiiight there.....it's a simple formality babe..."

Money's the easiest thing to replace....

Trust is simply immeasurable.

Don't believe in prenups.

Never have, never will.

(Now.....hiring a hit man.....I'm all good with that).

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 2:23:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather
My view of marriage is that when I marry, everything that I own ceases to be mine and becomes ours. And the same with everything she owns. There is no longer a mine and a yours, only an ours. So a prenup that specifies that something I owned before the marriage is in anyway not communal property, would mean that I really wasn't serious about marrying for the right reasons, thus the insult to her. I try not to insult or exploit the people I love.

Ok, so then what happens if you and your loved one (married or not) break up? what happens to the communal property?

eta- since you and Hanners arent legally married, do you consider everything the two of you have as communal property right now? Or do things only become communal if you officially marry?

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

quote:

But.. you still havent answered this.. how is property viewed in your relationship
Because you never asked it, that's why I never answered it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444

And i am not trying to tell you what to do or tell you that you are wrong so please I dont get all upset just cuz i point out something you hadnt considered before. You are an adult and will make up your own mind on things, making mistakes is how people tend to learn. Just something i have learned since being your age is that it's a lot easier, cheaper and less frustrating to learn from someone else's mistakes rather than my own.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

You say you aren't trying to tell me what to do, yet in the same breath you tell me I am making a mistake. You're concern is touching and would perhaps be more than that if it wasn't dripping with condescension. You made mistakes, that doesn't mean I will, and even if I do, I'd rather live life fully and make those mistakes than hide from life in fear of what might happen.

Touchy much? I didn't get that from tj's post at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

Thank you for your unsolicited advice on how to live my life. However, I believe the topic of this thread is Iamsemisweet's question of how you feel about pre-nups, not if I should have one or how I should file my taxes.

So....you call out tj because of some supposed condescension, yet here you are being quite condescending to LafayetteLady. Nice hypocrisy.

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RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 5:11:10 AM

HeatherMcLeather

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quote:

Your statements are inconsistant. In a previous statement you said you didnt know if i was correct or not about tax on common-law same sex couples, then all of a sudden you say Cheri had talked to a tax specialist about buying a house and this bit about poly being exempt from tax laws. An addition to that, I dont see why Cheri would need to talk to someone about tax on a principle residence since there is no tax on any profit on those in Canada.

They are only inconsistent if you don't actually read them as written. I said Cheri's parents had looked into things at the time we were considering buying the house. This has nothing to do with my first statement.

(in reply to tj444)

RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 5:18:18 AM

HeatherMcLeather

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Golly gee, the thread police have arrived. So, how do you feel about pre-nups, other than as an excuse to parse my responses for imagined flaws in posting etiquette?

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 8:56:17 AM

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Jeez. I don't know how a thread about prenups turned into something that had to be moderated. I did think people were asking some incredibly personal questions, and that Heather was actually pretty polite about it, for a while. I know it seems strange, since we know incredibly personal things about Heather's intimate relationships, but personal finances are harder to talk about than sex. For lots of people, and not just on CM, money is hard to talk about. I know this because I am one of those people. My ex husband and I were married for 20 years. The sex was't great, but we could talk about it. We never had so much as a joint checking account though, and we never, ever talked about money, except in connection with taxes. So if someone had started asking me about my tax set up, I would have got offended too.
This just proves my point that money is hard to talk about. So, there is another reason for a prenuptial.

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(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 2:37:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

Golly gee, the thread police have arrived. So, how do you feel about pre-nups, other than as an excuse to parse my responses for imagined flaws in posting etiquette?

Imagined flaws in posting etiquette? *LOL* You really know how to put a slanted spin on things, don't you. But I understand why you wouldn't want to own up to making hypocritical statements. ;)

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RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 3:10:10 PM

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There's an additional reason for a pre-nup, the same reason you should have a will. Let's say that you die in the same car crash. Really think your greedy brother in law deserves to get your spouse's money instead of it going to his or her heirs? No will, no kids, one third goes to parents and two thirds to siblings. So his or her family money won't go back to his or her family but half of it will be up for grabs by members of yours. Or their spouses who will push for it.

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(in reply to DeviantlyD)

RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 3:12:37 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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Still no reason to have a pre-nup the will takes care of that.

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RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 3:21:38 PM

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even if you have a prenup, depending on where you live, many times, once you die, a state's probate laws can trump a prenup. In PA probate laws will many times do just that, whether it's testate or intestate. Neither a prenup or a will will always guarantee your money will go where you think it should.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 9/24/2011 3:22:30 PM >

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RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 3:46:01 PM

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Exactly. Little wonder, do you have any exAmples of state law trumping a will? Because if a will, especially in conjunction with a property agreement is in place, and it met all the formalities, that would be really unusual here.
For the non prenuptial people, you are in good company. Bill gates famously did not do a prenuptial when he married Melinda. Of course, he has the money and legal connections to absolutely crush anyone who challenged him legally.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Still no reason to have a pre-nup the will takes care of that.

_____________________________

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The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 3:52:26 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

Of course, he has the money and legal connections to absolutely crush anyone who challenged him legally.

Then the answer is clear, screw the Pre-nup, befriend Bill Gates.

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(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 5:55:20 PM

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From: Kentucky
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Honestly... the answer to this entire thread is: if you have any concerns, consult your personal attorney.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 6:40:10 PM

HeatherMcLeather

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I'm probably going to lose a few forum friends for saying this, but Arpig was right. You are stupid.

< Message edited by HeatherMcLeather -- 9/24/2011 6:41:38 PM >

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 6:52:53 PM

Arpig

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Well duh! Every post she makes proves it.

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RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 7:44:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

I'm probably going to lose a few forum friends for saying this, but Arpig was right. You are stupid.

You agree with arpig? Quelle surprise!

It's okay. I understand how resorting to silly insults is your only rebuttal to a statement you know is true, but don't want to openly admit is true.

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RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 7:46:04 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Well duh! Every post she makes proves it.

*looks at arpig's "From" and thinks it's good he knows where he's from.

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RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 9:51:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Exactly. Little wonder, do you have any exAmples of state law trumping a will? Because if a will, especially in conjunction with a property agreement is in place, and it met all the formalities, that would be really unusual here.
For the non prenuptial people, you are in good company. Bill gates famously did not do a prenuptial when he married Melinda. Of course, he has the money and legal connections to absolutely crush anyone who challenged him legally.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Still no reason to have a pre-nup the will takes care of that.

Well for example, once a person dies, any property of the decedent belongs to the estate so depending on different circumstances, if it's testate or intestate, who may be named as testator, who is next in line in to inherit in an intestate estate, etc....just because a prenup may state that the spouse gets that property, that property now belongs to the estate and that's where it's gonna get reeeeaaal fun!

eta: just realized you were asking the opposite lol. In PA when I worked in Register of Wills I can't remember a single time where the will was trumped by the prenup. We had a few cases of them but a judge always ruled in favor of the will.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 9/24/2011 9:54:00 PM >

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RE: Prenups - 9/24/2011 11:46:03 PM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
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Yes darling

Still butthurt are you? There there baby...

(in reply to DeviantlyD)

RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:38:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

I'm probably going to lose a few forum friends for saying this, but Arpig was right. You are stupid.

You know, i've never thought that about DeviantlytD. On the other hand, you're supposed to be really smart. So, i guess when You make an ass of yourself, you don't have an excuse.

pam

(in reply to HeatherMcLeather)

RE: Prenups - 9/25/2011 12:42:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeatherMcLeather

I'm probably going to lose a few forum friends for saying this, but Arpig was right. You are stupid.

You know, i've never thought that about DeviantlytD.

pam

Thanks Pam. I appreciate the sentiment. :)

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