RE: Calling All Switches! Teach a Mistress

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RE: Calling All Switches! Teach a Mistress - 8/8/2005 5:48:40 PM

TheLioness

Posts: 9
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I hate to throw a monkey wrench in here .. well, okay, I don't hate to. I am a selective switch after all and since we apparently confuse many... but I digress. First, methinks the lady doth protest too much. Domination should flow without worry of anyone perceiving that one might have some tiny inkling of submission.

Anyway, I get the feeling that folks are forgetting that D/s roles v SM play are two very different things, though the "norm" these days is to find them very blended in varying degrees, still they are quite different for many switches. Many are the Tops/Sadists who have absolutely no interest in psychological domination, they like hurting people for sexual fun, period. And god knows I know my own share of Bottoms/Masochists who would sooner rip out their own fingernail than call anyone Sir or Ma'am, god forbid kneel in respect. Equally, plenty of submissives run screaming from the thought of any real physical pain, and many are the Dominants who would rather cuddle a little playtoy after a severe talking to than EVER apply punishment physically. There are switches who are pure masochists with completely dominant personalities.

I figure if a switch who's being honest wants to enter a household as a slave badly enough to apply for it, the last thing on his or her mind is challenging the Dominant's position, it's a complete anathema to someone looking for that position in life ... however, we're a fairly experienced and very savvy lot since all of us have ridden this pony both fully astride and side-saddle, so if you are not secure in your own domination, if you really find yourself worried about having your authority challenged, then chances are you're harboring some insecurities about staying in control, and I don't know about the rest of y'all who are really dominant switches like me, but the minute someone calling themselves a "pure dom" smells like insecurity and fear to me, POOF .. all my feelings of submission towards them pretty much go the way of the dodo, even if I don't want them to, nothing I can do to stop it. She's right to be worried if that is, in fact, her worry. Let me clarify, she shouldn't necessarily worry that her authority will be challenged, more that the slave will be unable to submit once he/she detects insecurity and/or fear of challenge. And for pete's sake, I'm NOT saying that's the case with this fine lady, just pointing out a real problem if it is.

Domina Katrina
polyamorous bisexual selective switch greedy pig always dead honest occassional pot stirrer.

(in reply to Euryanx)

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Post #: 41

RE: Calling All Switches! Teach a Mistress - 8/9/2005 2:13:28 AM

NakedOnMyChain

Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline

In answer to your questions...
1.) The decision of who's dominant is something that needs discussed between them, unless it's just one of those situations where everything clicks. Lots of talking needs to be done to ensure both parties' happiness.
2.) If both are feeling submissive, in my experience a compromise is usually reached. Like one will be top for an hour, then switch. Also, this is where the bottoming from the top thing can come into play too. If one is really feeling submissive, and so is the other, the most submissive thing they could do would be to top. (Does your head hurt yet?)
3.) Same as above.
4.) The decision to let a switch into your house to sub is up to you and the interested party. Just make sure that they will be happy. Many switches have one tendency that is more prominent than others. If you get a switch that leans to sub, it would be a bit wiser.
5.) If someone is agreeing to enter your home on a submissive basis, I would honestly advise you not to worry what they think. They are big boys/girls and should know what they are getting themselves into, as long as you advise them of it.
6.) Exactly. They're on your turf. You're the mistress. Not them. If they play with your slaves, don't hesitate to boot them.
7.) Not at all, as long as they're informed about what they're getting in to. Don't take any shit from the beginning, and it's unlikely that they'll give you more.
8.) Don't worry about it. It all goes back to the information thing. If you can't give them what they need, tell them to go elsewhere. But do so with an open mind.
9.) They are applying to you for any number of reasons. They think you're attractive, they like your profile, they want to know more about you, their sub sides takes precedence, or just generally you appeal to them. Switches are human too, and their whims are just as spontaneous.
10.) The unasked question: It's handled with grace, dignity, and common sense whenever possible.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

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Post #: 42