OICU8Master
Posts: 9
Joined: 9/9/2011
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Hisprettybaby
I'm not saying that people can't have their preferences. Hell, everyone has preferences, including me. What I am saying is, why can't people just say what they prefer without insulting those who don't fit their preference? Have your preferences but you don't have to insult the rest of us who don't happen to be what you want.
I'd LOVE to post the responses I got on this website from the woman who was insulted because I said I preferred a woman who was under 140 lbs. I didn't say fat, I didn't say obese, or blubber or anything insulting at all. I said "140 lbs or less". She simply wouldn't stop attacking me personally. Never mind that I have a back problem and cannot perform some of the positions I enjoy with a woman who weighs much more than that. Never mind that I am simply not attracted to a woman who weighs much more than that.
I'd LOVE to post her responses, all 15 of them, but I deleted them along with every other hateful response I get from anyone who doesn't like that I have preferences of my own.
None of which has ANYTHING to do with the OP's original question. But I agree, he proposed a reason that was posted less than tactfully.
Not, as I've found, that tactfulness has anything to do with an overweight womans response. I wonder if there's a link somewhere to the desire to enter into the BDSM community and a deep seated rage at the world around them that won't accept them as they are? Hence the personal attacks on anyone bringing up the topic. Insults about penis size. Insults about maturity. etc. Is there a correlation there? I don't know.
And of course, this does not apply to all overweight women or even the majority. If the norm is 25% and we see that 40% are into BDSM, then we're talking 15% additional women or roughly 3 out of 8 women who are drawn to BDSM who are over the norm.
And I admit this is based on a small sample size.
I do know this: There are a lot of guys who are drawn to things like Magic:the Gathering, War Machine, roleplaying games, etc. who are classified as nerds. Even the world champion magic player who lives in a suite atop a skyscraper in New York and has earned millions was shot down publicly on OKCupid while trying to get a date when the woman he dated found out he played Magic for a living.
Highly intelligent people, creative, funny, some very good looking. Yet you rarely find women drawn to that community at all. Why? The perception that these men are socially inept and sexually inexperienced. Of course, this isn't true, it's a stereotype. Why are the men drawn to that community? Intellectual stimulation. Many of them have wives and girlfriends, few of whom ever share their passions.
So what draws overweight women to the BDSM community? What is the perception that attracts them to it? Is it a healthy attraction for those 3 out of 8 women above the norm, or an unhealthy one? Is it about low self esteem or rage or something else? Could it be that only in the BDSM community do they feel accepted for who they are and not what they look like? Is that why there's such backlash when the question gets broached? That's a very strong possibility, much like the guys attracted to the nerd end of the spectrum who got extremely vocal when the world champion magic player was shot down for simply being a magic player and the entire community ripped into that woman.
But underneath it all was a hidden rage against the women who simply refuse to accept them for who they are. The vast majority of women say it's not about looks, it's about who you are. That same vast majority then judge these guys wrongly for who they are. They're just guys, like every other guy I've ever known. I'd say a lower percentage of jerks are attracted to that community so it doesn't even make sense for women to reject them. Do they have a hidden rage? Oh yeah, you betcha.
I think that hidden rage comes out here from the women who've responded as well. I think that rejection from society as a whole, the same way gamers are rejected, engenders a hidden rage. I also think it has something to do with what attracts overweight women to the BDSM lifestyle. But while I can understand what attracts men to the gamer world, I can't quite see the attraction for the women here. There doesn't seem to be more acceptance, there seems to be an emphasis on looks, style, artistic bondage, etc. Everywhere I look, it's showing off the feminine body.
So no, I don't grasp the draw.
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RE: Are overweight women drawn to this lifestyle? - 
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