agirl -> RE: Those that dislike over weight people, less tolerant in other areas? (10/30/2011 11:50:46 AM)
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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Yanno...I've been thinking about this. I've been overly thin and I've been over weight. The only time I can remember getting comments about my weight was when I was too thin. At this point in life I am really feeling good about my fitness and size. If anyone says anything I am oblivious to it. Yesterday I hiked about 10 miles with 20ish pounds of photography year and then, an additional 10ish pound of geodes on the last 5. My daughter is grossly obese and has been since her early teens. I've never heard anyone say anything say anything snarky to her. She dated, she married, and has two lovely little girls. As far as I know, the only commentary has been from her doctors and most of all, herself. I honestly believe that the worst comes from herself. And, the assumption that others are thinking or feeling what she herself does. An awful lot of projection on her part. Certainly I want her to be thinner for her health. She is barely past the 30 mark and suffering the ill effects of her weight. I love her and want her around for a very long time. So yeah, while I do know that weight seems to be one of the last okay 'ism's, I also think that it gets magnified by the inner chatter of the fat person. A vicious circle for sure. Similar situation here. I cycled 15miles every day last week. Up hill and down dale. My daughter is 3 stone over weight at least and today I insisted that she and my grandaughter came cycling with me. Not for an arduous ride, but to get out and about, be active and enjoy the mild autumnal weather.( It's so pretty here in the UK at the moment with the trees all in various shades of gold and red) Poor old Em struggled up some of the inclines, so we all stopped and walked a bit until she got underway again. As we walked, she talked." God, I'm so unfit Mama. I bloody well lay about far too much!" When I cycled behind her she chuckled and said "Now you can see my fat arse". She KNOWS she's too fat and that it hampers all sorts of things. She can't dress how she'd like which frustrates her as she loves all things girly and has a wicked style, all her own. (Unlike her mother). She's had two strokes, the first occured well before she was fat, but being fat and unfit is certainly only going to exacerbate. She's got a wonderful man who is slim, handsome and extremely fit who loves her to bits. She's pretty, funny, ethusiastic and one of the kindest people I know. She's always there for anyone in need in a way that I never could be. Like you, I want her to be around for all of my life. I love her so much it's almost painful. I want her to have a life full of health and happiness but the one thing I cannot do for her is give her SELF motivation. HER inner voice is hard on her, no-one else is. I am not going to add to that, but I also won't tell her that she's *ok* as she is........because she isn't. If she can't cycle 5 miles, she's not ok. Not at 27yrs old. It doesn't matter to her, or to me what other people *think* as she's never had people being beastly to her about being big and I've no idea why it happens to other people. Sometimes I think that it's where people carry their weight. My daughter is totally in proportion and curvy, big bum, big boobs, smaller waist. The *apple* shape just looks more *fat* as the weight tends to be all in the middle. Just to add......Quite a few people mention liking a bigger partner, a bit of meat on the bones......then go on to highlight the OTHER end of the spectrum........*skinny, thin and gaunt, not wanting to be stabbed by bones, afraid of breaking them* and so on. Really folks, there's RAFTS of really rather average people out there that are neither fat nor rail thin. It's not one or t'other. agirl
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