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Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/25/2011 6:11:53 PM   
MistressLilliana


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/7/2011
Status: offline 		Would you take on a sub/slave with this rare skin condition? It isn't pretty...it isn't fun...but knowing someone who has it, they are more Dominant because of it but have a submissive side they'd like to explore...their problem is finding someone who is understanding and as they put it "won't find their bodies disgusting". I have my own reasons why we wouldn't be a good match and they understand but because they are so ashamed of their body and embarrassed, they admit it'd be hard to submit because it'd "expose the truth".

for those who don't know what this is:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hidradenitis_suppurativa

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/26/2011 5:41:57 PM   
MistressLilliana


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/7/2011
Status: offline 		Wow, a lot of views and no replies...I guess that answers the question.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/26/2011 6:17:14 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I guess I'll answer it for you.

Personally it would depend on the severity. If it was an extreme case I don't think I could deal with it to be honest.

Now if I was already in a relationship with someone and  he acquired it then I would stay and we would deal with it but I wouldn't start a relationship is it was already severely prevalent.



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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/26/2011 8:25:36 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		An ex-partner, now long-time friend has this. It is visible and obvious. It didn't stop me from considering a lifetime partnership with him at one time when we were dating. For me, his sense of humor, steadfast friendship during difficult times and fiendish love of contra dancing shone through. Ultimately it was not his skin condition but the clash of two cultures we couldn't get past.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/27/2011 6:49:59 AM   
MistressLilliana


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/7/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you for replying and for your honesty! I can understand why this would be difficult to deal with though I also understand (since this is a friend of mine) how personality can shine through even some bad disfigurements..It is a horrible disease and with no cure and though its not contagious..its not pretty. I told him the best way to explore his sub side is to get into a really good relationship first with someone into or interested in this lifestyle and maybe then, once feelings and hopefully love are present the person he's with could look past it...Thank you again.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/28/2011 12:15:34 AM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		I know someone with this and I don't think it would bother me. As long as they let me know about it up front. Shock over something they don't know about is often what makes people pull away from it after all.

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We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/28/2011 9:44:31 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Looks like there is a lot of stuff that can be done:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hidradenitis-suppurativa/DS00818/DSECTION=treatments-and-drugs

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hidradenitis-suppurativa/DS00818/DSECTION=lifestyle-and-home-remedies

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/28/2011 12:24:15 PM   
MistressLilliana


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/7/2011
Status: offline 		No treatments are the same for every person with this disease. Some people respond for a period of time with antibiotics, others have to get skin grafts, some have had entire armpits removed. There is no cure and while the treatments help the symptoms they do not make them disappear completely and even so they are left scarred. He's been trying everything he can think of...he might even go in to get laser hair removal to see if that works because it has helped others to some extent. It's just sad that he wishes to explore and do more this his life but this disease holds him back.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/28/2011 12:36:41 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Unfortunately I know how that can be. I was born with an extreme case of eczema over my entire body. It was so bad when I was growing up that I looked like a bandaged mummy. I didn't respond to medications at that time which weren't what they are now. It held me back because of the pain and what I looked like. It wasn't until after I hit my twenties that it went into somewhat remission. I still have scars and it still flares up at times to the point where I refuse to leave the house because it's too embarrassing to me plus even the wind or clothing can make it hurt.

I feel for your friend. Skin conditions are not easy to live with since it's our largest organ and you can't just get an entire body skin transplant lol.

Tell your friend to keep trying though..push forward. Talk to his doctor extensively, continue to take the meds, continue to do his research on new technologies and breakthroughs. I know I'm always looking into new research into it and when I hear about something I will make a call and ask a doctor about it and how it may help me. Are there any support groups near him that may be able to help him emotionally? Maybe talking to others would at least give him some more confidence.

I truly do wish your friend the best of luck and I hope he's able to overcome this.



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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/28/2011 3:42:18 PM   
MissImmortalPain


Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline 		If I can address his mindset rather than his illness. What seems to be holding him back is fear. If it helps at all tell him you are talking to a domme that is a amputee...that is missing not only her left leg but a part of her genitals on that side as well. Also have a lot of rather icky looking scars that set some people off. But they are there and there is nothing I can do about them. I have learned to live with them. He must do the same. Scar tissue is on one level a very amazing thing. It shows that the person with it has survived something. It doesn't matter what that something was he should be able to look at the scars and know that they do not change who he is as a person. They have marked him but not killed him. He has to decide to let others know they are only a part of him. That there is more to him than just this one part.

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It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 10/29/2011 7:25:08 AM   
gorgeoushair


Posts: 114
Joined: 4/30/2011
Status: offline 		I have great empathy for the person who has this.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 7/10/2012 9:59:53 AM   
irotsym


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline 		I am a submissive who suffers from this disease as well. I was glad to see that there was a post in the forums about it. It is a huge fear of mine to seek out a Dominant who accepts me for the submissive that I am, but yet can look past the disease and doesn't find me repulsive.

There is more to this, and I want to write more, but I am going to come back at another time when I am in a better mindset. I hope that others who suffer from this will come out and talk about their experiences in dealing with this. There are a lot of details that I would love to touch on directly related to play time and other BDSM activities.

Thanks to OP for bringing this up.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 1/15/2013 3:21:59 AM   
brokenangelbaby


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Status: offline 		This disease is one of the worst in the world..

None of you can even imagine the embarrassment that goes with this disease. The knowledge that no matter how clean you are, no matter what meds, lotions, remedies are used it never gets better.

All of my brothers and I have it to a varying degree, covering all the stages.

I tell people before even making plans to meet, not even knowing if it will ever progress to a nudity situation...many do not even respond after I tell them.

I understand peoples reluctance over this but you are rejecting someone for something they did nothing to cause. Can do nothing to cure or alleviate--do not be fooled by the internets remedies, they do not work.

No one is perfect and I cannot change my skin...but knowing people will just reject you based on this and not even consider YOU is the most infuriating thing. It isnt contagious. If i am rejected because of my scars and the potential of more scarring and flare ups then it is your loss..I have as much control over this as you do about your height--think how you feel about being judged for something you do not control nor had any input into????
Made to feel ashamed, when you did nothing to deserve this affliction.

We are not the sad ones in my mind...it is the superficial people that are....same people who will never understand because they were blessed with normality.


Consider yourself lucky.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 1/15/2013 3:31:59 AM   
FindommeJinx


Posts: 41
Joined: 1/14/2013
Status: offline 		I think that is a very difficult but exciting relationship to be in. You would have the joy of being able to put back the pieces that were never there in this subs life. You get to be his joy, you get to love him and appreciate every inch of this creature- who was created so differently in so much beauty. There is so much beauty in diversity. You will be able to teach him how to love his body and the things he can do with it.
I think in itself this is not a curse but a life lesson that makes people who have it see life in a whole different perspective- a way we will never be able to.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 1/16/2013 8:01:14 AM   
Desdemmonna


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline 		Have it and am upfront about in right on profile. My current Primary is incredibly supportive. Play partners are hard to find that can tolerate ths illness and the secondary fact my is so badly reactive...shaving is asking for trouble period. There is no magical pill or treatment and a lot of people cannot understand this. Thank you for starting this thread OP.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 1/16/2013 11:10:34 PM   
dollparts85


Posts: 1233
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: NY
Status: offline 		I have it and as far as I know, it doesn't bother my guy much. He even helps me take care of icky spots sometimes. I think I'm actually more ashamed of being naked in front of doctors who don't understand more so than other people. You'd be surprised how ignorant many medical professionals are about this disease.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 1/17/2013 7:15:18 PM   
Desdemmonna


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, my Primary is more than happy to help lance something and relieve the pressure than a medical professional is. Sterile as can be expected in a home situation of course (gloves, disposable blades, gauze)
"Not recommended" "Use hot compresses and bring it to burst on its own" Sorry doc, it HURTS. It need to be drained NOW.

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RE: Hidradenitis Suppurativa - 1/17/2013 9:15:59 PM   
EsotericLady


Posts: 713
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline 		There is so much emphasis on beauty perfection in our world. Think of all the commercials, magazine ads, and radio ads about shampoos, hair colors, make up, lotions, body washes, nail polishes, age defying creams, dental whitings, etc.

None of us are immune to the brainwashings that tell us we can never be physically perfect enough!

quote:

ORIGINAL: brokenangelbaby

I understand peoples reluctance over this but you are rejecting someone for something they did nothing to cause. Can do nothing to cure or alleviate--do not be fooled by the internets remedies, they do not work.

No one is perfect and I cannot change my skin...but knowing people will just reject you based on this and not even consider YOU is the most infuriating thing. It isnt contagious. If i am rejected because of my scars and the potential of more scarring and flare ups then it is your loss..I have as much control over this as you do about your height--think how you feel about being judged for something you do not control nor had any input into????
Made to feel ashamed, when you did nothing to deserve this affliction.

We are not the sad ones in my mind...it is the superficial people that are....same people who will never understand because they were blessed with normality.


Consider yourself lucky.


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