RE: Successful D/s relationships despite distance?

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RE: Successful D/s relationships despite distance? - 10/31/2011 8:20:46 PM

NuevaVida

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We're only an hour & a half apart and it can certainly be hard. We see each other every weekend, and sometimes during the week. Every other week he has his daughter, so we really only have about 2 weekends a month alone together. I'm greedy and want more lol.

But we call each other every morning, email during the day, and a couple of calls at night. I keep myself pretty busy during the week, so it's not that I'm lonely for him or pining after him, it's when issues come up that are better talked about in person, it would be so much easier to just be able to hop in the car for a short drive to chat. But issues rarely come up so that's not a huge thing.

Traveling every weekend does get hard, though. I'm usually traveling more than he is, since he has a seasonal weekend job from April to September, and also has his daughter every other weekend.

Still, with those challenges going on, I couldn't have met a better person for me, and two and a half years into this now, we're planning to move in together when his (teen) daughter finishes high school. In the meantime, we make the best of what we have, and enjoy each other to the fullest. We are good together. The distance is temporary.

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RE: Successful D/s relationships despite distance? - 10/31/2011 8:54:12 PM

tiggerspoohbear

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I began chatting with Paul well over a year ago. We were just friends, and kept it light but still managed to find out a bit about each other. At the time he was in a relationship, and we kept it at a friendly level. Relationship fell apart, but I was unaware of this. I live in Cornwall and he lives in Peterborough. The funny thing is, I moved here in June to be closer to Ottawa (my dad), so instead of a 4 hr drive to Ottawa, I now only had an hour and get to see him more often.

After failed attempts for both of us with others a few months ago, he asked why we didn't get together. I was leery, due to distance, but decided to give it a chance. We chat everyday, or text or talk. Not a day goes by that messages aren't flying back and forth. By the time I met him earlier this month, things had solidified for us. I drive there, we split the cost of my gas, I pay to get there, he fills my tank to get back. At the first sight of him, I just knew it was going to work out. This was on the Wednesday. As many know, on the Friday, while going out, I slipped and injured my tailbone quite badly. He looked after me the entire time, made sure I was comfortable, drove me and stayed at the ER with me on Saturday morning and babied me. No getting out of bed without a reason, and he'd get me anything I asked for.

I'm going to see him again this week. Leaving Thursday, hopefully for a week or more. We have so much fun together, go for walks, local attractions and such. We also talk a lot and we're nothing but honest with each other. Having both been in less than stellar relationships before, we know that what we have now is very special. We have promised not to hurt each other intentionally and hold each others hearts in our hands with tenderness and care.

Even though we communicate every day, I so miss having his arms around me as we go to sleep, his hugs and his butterfly kisses to my face. I've found a keeper and I'm not letting go. Neither is he, and those are his words. We'll make it work because we want it to. He's very special to me and I'm glad everything is working out so well.

Wishing you luck, and know that it's not impossible to find someone, you just have to put in hard work, make sure communication is open at all times, be honest with each other, and above all have fun. Be it watching movies, silly jokes, whatever makes you smile.

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RE: Successful D/s relationships despite distance? - 10/31/2011 9:02:59 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: onbendedknees08

thanks all...i never thought that i would want to explore a potential long distance relationship, but i am not getting any younger and certainly not finding what i am seeking in the area that i am living.

Dunno that seems like such a cop out unless you live in a remote area. Hell pick any large city and you will have anywheres between 1 and 5 million <yes millions> ppl living within say 30 mins of where you live.

I would like to suggest that if you can't find someone within your area ..there is something wrong with you.... so get off facebook and get outside..

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RE: Successful D/s relationships despite distance? - 11/1/2011 9:29:18 AM

oneluckysub

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LDR's are too much for me. I am much more needy than that and I have no interest in having to take a train, plane or bus to have a relationship. But I live in Chicago and there are lots of men here for me to connect with.

For me, any distance that makes it difficult to drive there, spend a fair bit of time with each other and drive home in the same day is just to far for me. Not saying that I will go home after every gathering or date but if I want or need to see my partner that day, I want to know that I can get in the car and do it.

When I say needy, I dont mean clingy or overly attached. I mean I want to spend time with my partner as often as I schedules will allow. As I don't date indiscriminately, I want to get to know the person I am with so we can determine if there is something worth going the long haul for. And, for me, I dont think I can discover that in a LDR.

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RE: Successful D/s relationships despite distance? - 11/1/2011 7:06:07 PM

Firebirdseeking

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I dont agree with that at all. It is difficult to find true compatibility, and that is especially so as one gets older, has lived a full life and is like the pot that has been glazed and fired in the kiln. In other words, we are not maleable teenagers. Finding someone with whom one is truly compatible is NOT easy - it doesnt matter if the OP lives in a large city or small town, just because there may be a million people doesnt mean she is going to meet even a tiny fraction of them. Not everyone has a life where she or he can easily meet others. More and more people are on line, and more are realizing that finding a partner is not like picking a cupcake in a bakery.

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RE: Successful D/s relationships despite distance? - 11/1/2011 7:17:47 PM

Daddysredhead

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RE: Successful D/s relationships despite distance? - 11/1/2011 11:55:05 PM

lookingforHim2

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An LTR can often give you the opportunity to really get to know the person with letters and chat before you meet. Go for it

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RE: Successful D/s relationships despite distance? - 11/2/2011 6:12:47 PM

SophiaChan

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Hi.. I am in a LDR, but we weren't always in this position. The first year we were neighbors and I we were both getting over ex's and health problems. The second and third years we lived together, although we were not incredibly committed yet. We explored D/s during this time and found it to be a natural fit outside the bedroom more and more. Given that that is what I always wanted, to have a lifestyle D/s relationship, it slowly became more serious. During these first three years I lived in his country, very far from my own. At the end of year three, I had to go home. He came with me at first, but he couldn't stay. So we were separated for 6 months. Then, I saved up some money and went there for 6 months. Again we were apart for 6 months and he was able to come here for this past summer. Since Aug (and until Feb) we will again be apart. LDR sucks. Especially this kind of LDR... not the two or three hours away kind (where you can see each other every other weekend) but the 1/2 way around the world kind. It is literally 8am here when it is 8pm there. Even when we can communicate, we are in completely different mindsets. So, we've been playing and are still playing the LDR game. But, obviously we have found it worth it.
I must say though that it has brought up some issues... such as lifestyle changes that we both undergo during our 6 months apart, that are hard to resolve once back together. We've struggled with the getting back together part each time. The absence of touch also really wears on a person and can be very frustrating in a loving, 5 yr relationship. When we have bad days, we seem to have extra-really bad days. We try to be online with each other as much as possible, but that can only help so much.
My advice though, despite everything, is to go for it. You can't predict what will happen in your life, nor should you avoid the potential for something wonderful just because it is difficult. I hope you find what you are looking for and you have the courage to see it through. All the best!

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