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RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:12:27 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
Valley Gems
Dayton, OH 45424 
Support group for Transsexuals, Crossdressers, and Significant Others. 
Meetings are the1st Saturday of each month at 7pm.

Please contact them. You sound like you need support, and a good group will do wonders for you !!

They used to have a website but it's being used by TAW (transgendered at work).

Good luck sweets, you are not alone.


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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:13:31 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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I'm thinking that it might be worth doing a web search for a local transgender support group. If there is one such, they might be able to put you in touch with sympathetic cops.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:15:22 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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Great minds . . . .

I wouldn't mind betting that this particular species of blackmail is not unheard of. In fact, some person could be making a nice little career out of it.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:18:28 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123
That could work, and then later I need to find a woman that actually DOES want me to dress up in her clothes.



They're not at all uncommon. Gawd, almost every (nominally-vanilla) GF I've had has at least wanted to plaster me in make-up at one time or another. Women are just weird that way. ;-)

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:20:08 AM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer


quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123
That could work, and then later I need to find a woman that actually DOES want me to dress up in her clothes.



They're not at all uncommon. Gawd, almost every (nominally-vanilla) GF I've had has at least wanted to plaster me in make-up at one time or another. Women are just weird that way. ;-)


The response I always get is along the lines of: "That's just weird" or "Straight guys don't want to wear dresses, get away from me."

It may only be uncommon for me.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:36:28 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
Dayton Valley Gems
Dayton, Ohio (Miami Valley area)
[email protected]
Support group for all types of T people and their SOs (FtM, MtF, CD, TG, TS or questioning).

I found you a contact email. I think their support will be invaluable. Because unfortunately, you cannot count on receiving sympathy from law enforcement. Hopefully they can help you with what is the best next stop NOW.


And I agree, this blackmailer has many such victims. They may already know about her/him.




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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:37:22 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Call the police and tell them that a woman I've never met, whose real name I don't know, 
threatened me over the internet?

So along with sending her a photo of yourself dressed as a woman, you also told her
where you live, who your parents are, as well as thier phone numbers and addressess?
If this is true, your parents should be more concerned with your use of the internet
than the fact that you occassionally like to play dress up.

Heck, if you really believe she has the power to extort anything from you,
then you may as well sign over your life savings right now.
I'd call her bluff and tell her to read section 7.3 of the Terms of Service.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:38:39 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Wait.. why do you hate addressing this "one"? Im assuming the "one" is the "being transgendered"? (sorry about that mistake... just waking up)


Don't you hate having to prove that you understand what you are everytime you bring it up casually?



hmmm.... I dont see it as having to "prove". Please, understand, we get many who have no clue about many things. Its hard to give advice if we arent sure we are talking about the same thing you are. I was under the impression, by your post, that you were TV, not TG. My advice would not have been the same.

The TG groups are a wonderful suggestion. Im sure, at least the on line ones, would have many who have been in your position and would be able to give you answers we may not have even thought about.

I do wish you the best of luck.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:41:40 AM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise


quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Call the police and tell them that a woman I've never met, whose real name I don't know, 
threatened me over the internet?

So along with sending her a photo of yourself dressed as a woman, you also told her
where you live, who your parents are, as well as thier phone numbers and addressess?
If this is true, your parents should be more concerned with your use of the internet
than the fact that you occassionally like to play dress up.

Heck, if you really believe she has the power to extort anything from you,
then you may as well sign over your life savings right now.
I'd call her bluff and tell her to read section 7.3 of the Terms of Service.


I would appreciate if you read the OP. I never said I gave her those names or addresses. She came up with that on her own and did a good job of it. But, I appreciate you sitting there insulting me. Warms my heart. I know I screwed up, I've got that.


(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:48:12 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise


quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Call the police and tell them that a woman I've never met, whose real name I don't know, 
threatened me over the internet?

So along with sending her a photo of yourself dressed as a woman, you also told her
where you live, who your parents are, as well as thier phone numbers and addressess?
If this is true, your parents should be more concerned with your use of the internet
than the fact that you occassionally like to play dress up.

Heck, if you really believe she has the power to extort anything from you,
then you may as well sign over your life savings right now.
I'd call her bluff and tell her to read section 7.3 of the Terms of Service.


I would appreciate if you read the OP. I never said I gave her those names or addresses.
She came up with that on her own and did a good job of it. But, I appreciate you sitting there
insulting me. Warms my heart. I know I screwed up, I've got that.



My intent was not to insult at all, but to calm your fears of her threat to blackmail you,
as I found it impossible that she would have gotten such personal information from
you and therefore her threats were without warrant.
Again, along with notifying the authorities, you may have recourse by addressing
section 7.3 of the sites Terms of Service.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:50:27 AM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise


quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise


quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Call the police and tell them that a woman I've never met, whose real name I don't know, 
threatened me over the internet?

So along with sending her a photo of yourself dressed as a woman, you also told her
where you live, who your parents are, as well as thier phone numbers and addressess?
If this is true, your parents should be more concerned with your use of the internet
than the fact that you occassionally like to play dress up.

Heck, if you really believe she has the power to extort anything from you,
then you may as well sign over your life savings right now.
I'd call her bluff and tell her to read section 7.3 of the Terms of Service.


I would appreciate if you read the OP. I never said I gave her those names or addresses.
She came up with that on her own and did a good job of it. But, I appreciate you sitting there
insulting me. Warms my heart. I know I screwed up, I've got that.



My intent was not to insult at all, but to calm your fears of her threat to blackmail you,
as I found it impossible that she would have gotten such personal information from
you and therefore her threats were without warrant.
Again, along with notifying the authorities, you may have recourse by addressing
section 7.3 of the sites Terms of Service.


She got the information because we were IM'ing on yahoo and I forgot that my real name was attached to my s/n. Apparently she did a people search and got it right on the first try because she started naming names and got a reaction out of me. I didn't purposefully hand over my address book.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:51:30 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
poise - my bet is that he gave her his last name.  Zabasearch or an online directory will do the rest.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:55:25 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
To be trangendered means you need to develop a thick skin.

Yes, there are many, even in the BDSM community, who will not be sympathetic or understand. Ignore them and move on.

You made an incredibly stupid mistake by trusting someone you shouldn't have. We've all been there. Now be willing to stand up for who and what you are and learn how to fight this bully.

Again, a simple google search will give you various organizations, not just the one local to you that doesn't appear to have a website right now.

< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 11/8/2011 5:58:29 AM >


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:58:33 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
Sites like this....

http://www.peoplefinders.com/

Will give you lost of info from just a phone number or a name. If she is making a living at this sort of thing.. phone number.. email address.... give it a try. It found two of my last addresses without having to pay. And their rates are less than 25 dollars for a month pass.... 95 cents for a 24 hour access.

Let me amend that, I found the last two cities and states. Small town, you can easily find someone.

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 11/8/2011 5:59:16 AM >


_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 6:07:38 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
Fella, you need to come to grips with the fact that you want to be a woman.  It's not my place to judge the desire itself, but you're treating this as a nasty little secret and acting out while hoping it never comes out.

There are some people whose profiles and posts you should check out. OtterSwim and hausboy top the list, and MaxsBoy and VioletGray as well.  They have been wrestling with gender issues for years and have dealt with some of the struggles you will face.  And they've been successful.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 6:44:06 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
Personally, I would tell her "I don't have any money. Go ahead - I'll tell my family someone gave me a roofie at a party and then I will go to the police." I bet she moves on to easier prey.


(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 6:49:32 AM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
I look awfully coherent for being on a roofie. I also look way too happy. 

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 6:51:59 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
If you're afraid of going to the police yourself, hire an attorney to guide you through the process. If you have an attorney, they will know the local cops and be able to get this taken more seriously first off than a young man coming in on his own will be. It will save you trouble.

Beyond that, if you are transgendered, then don't you need at some point to move forward living the life you were meant to live? Get a therapist who specializes in this, the support group listed above can recommend some. And tell your family the truth so you can get support from them. I'm sure they know you aren't happy, and although this will come as a shock, having a therapist to explain it to them will help you get support from them.

Plus once they know, there isn't anything left to blackmail you with.


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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 7:03:35 AM   
Arienos


Posts: 161
Joined: 10/5/2011
Status: offline
quote:

look awfully coherent for being on a roofie. I also look way too happy.


A piece of advice rhat is not at all meant to be kind or empathies with your plight, the content of who and what you are is of infinitely more importance then the opinions of others including family.
Accept embrace and submerge yourself in the person and life you chose for yourself and thank the woman who would expose you (Blackmail) for her assistance in bringing you to this point.

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 7:36:04 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

I look awfully coherent for being on a roofie. I also look way too happy. 


Ok, you know what? Lots of people here have tried to be helpful and offer you advice, most of which consists of reporting her to the police. The above is about the fourth or fifth excuse as to why you can't do that.

Being transgendered and being a pussy aren't synonomous. If you are truly worried about what this woman will do, go to the police. If you not only spoke to someone but sent multiple compromising pictures without even finding out their name, you have quite a bit of growing up to do.

Copy the emails, print out the transcript for the instant messages and go to the police. Or tell her you don't give a shit what she does. But if you aren't actually going to take action, but instead just whine and complain about not knowing what to do, then you get what you get.

You asked for advice. Two pages of good advice: report it to the police and join a TG support group. Now get going and do what needs to be done.

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 40
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