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RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 1:30:23 PM   
withacherryontop


Posts: 16
Joined: 10/29/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Hi there, I'm new to this board, though I should have posted something here years ago. I decided to come here because...well...no one else is going to understand this predicament I'm in. Let me start at the beginning.


I started messaging a domme on Collarme and we seemed to hit it off. She did not present herself as a financial dominatrix, but when we were ready to meet she suddenly informed me that I would be spending money on her. Then she stated that I would be supporting her. I have long been of the belief that you shouldn't have to pay for your dominant, especially not on the first meeting.


Something to note is that I'd sent pictures to her of myself wearing women's attire, and while that was stupid of me, it can't be undone, so let's move past that. Now she has the photos, and she informed me that if I do not submit to her immediately, she will release the photos to my friends and family. This is not a bluff, she demonstrated very well that she has the names of my family members.


I finally flat out told her that I wouldn't be blackmailed or bullied into submitting, especially since she decided to resort to it before the first meeting. She claims that she will ruin me socially and professionally, and she will do it within the next few days. As to how she got all of her information, I don't know, but all of it is spot on and I know for a fact that she can destroy me. That said, I have a few questions:

1) How exactly do I deal with this?

2) My family is going to find out that I'm a transgender, what do I say to them?

3) Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

Let me know what you think, thanks.





1. Personally, I would call the police right away. You should give them copies of the email. They might be able to trace the email address or arrange a sting of this person. If you give this person money, all that will do is cause her/him to continue to ask for money and threaten to release the photos.

2. You are a cross-dresser, not transgender (which means a sex change operation). If your family or friends end up being sent this photos, personally I'd shrug. Dressing in women's clothes is hardly a terrible taboo these days. Myself, I would just joke to my friends, "Hey, I lost a bet -- same as Sean Connery must have when he wore a kilt to the Academy Awards." Or, if I were feeling more daring, "Oh, geez so I put on women's clothes -- if you really think it's that big a deal and you've never done anything worse I pity your sheltered life."

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 1:48:18 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

She is a full blown scammer and police cannot help with this. Before you go there... he did take precautions and simply got taken in by someone that actually presented better than most scammers. To his credit... he really didn't do much wrong except be too vulnerable. He won't do that again. lol


OK.

The OP seems plausible to me and I don't generally like getting into the 'I call bullshit' line unless there really are gaping holes in a story. And he doesn't seem like a dimwit, either.

I'm baffled by the news that the police aren't able to help, though. This seems a bit pisspoor on their part. I think I'd approach them indirectly, via lawyers or via a transgender support group.

In any case, I do think I'd play along for a bit, in his position. Stall for time. Failing police involvement, my next plan of attack would be to trap the blackmailer. She becomes most vulnerable at the point where there's any exchange of money or goods . . . .


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(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:25:23 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Hi there, I'm new to this board, though I should have posted something here years ago. I decided to come here because...well...no one else is going to understand this predicament I'm in. Let me start at the beginning.



1) How exactly do I deal with this?

2) My family is going to find out that I'm a transgender, what do I say to them?

3) Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

Let me know what you think, thanks.




How in the hell does you family NOT know your transgender-ed???? <I didnt bother to check your profile to see whether your M or F> Either you had tits and had them removed or you had tits added. WTF Over???

Ya know at some point you have to "Man the fuck up" and take responsibility for who you are and let the chips fall where they may.

BadOne




_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:37:24 PM   
Masterpet99


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/24/2011
Status: offline 		tell your family that was the time nobody knew where you were....

YOU CAME DOWN FOR MARDI GRAS DUDE!!!!!

I'll gladly back up your story!

(in reply to ZenRiverOtter)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:56:39 PM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum


quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

Hi there, I'm new to this board, though I should have posted something here years ago. I decided to come here because...well...no one else is going to understand this predicament I'm in. Let me start at the beginning.



1) How exactly do I deal with this?

2) My family is going to find out that I'm a transgender, what do I say to them?

3) Has anyone else dealt with something like this?

Let me know what you think, thanks.




How in the hell does you family NOT know your transgender-ed???? <I didnt bother to check your profile to see whether your M or F> Either you had tits and had them removed or you had tits added. WTF Over???

Ya know at some point you have to "Man the fuck up" and take responsibility for who you are and let the chips fall where they may.

BadOne





You understand that transgender doesn't necessarily mean a person has had the surgery yes? Clinically it means that a person identifies with the opposite gender and can identify themselves as such. To cut it down even simpler, it's like being trapped in the wrong body. Of course at this point you're going to ask me how I know, and my answer is pretty much the same way you figured out who and what you were.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 4:57:50 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum


How in the hell does you family NOT know your transgender-ed???? <I didnt bother to check your profile to see whether your M or F> Either you had tits and had them removed or you had tits added. WTF Over???

Ya know at some point you have to "Man the fuck up" and take responsibility for who you are and let the chips fall where they may.

BadOne



The guy is physically male.  He calls himself a TG because he identifies as female and crossdresses.  As far as I know, he has never taken hormones or had surgery, which would make him a transsexual.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:04:11 PM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum


How in the hell does you family NOT know your transgender-ed???? <I didnt bother to check your profile to see whether your M or F> Either you had tits and had them removed or you had tits added. WTF Over???

Ya know at some point you have to "Man the fuck up" and take responsibility for who you are and let the chips fall where they may.

BadOne



The guy is physically male.  He calls himself a TG because he identifies as female and crossdresses.  As far as I know, he has never taken hormones or had surgery, which would make him a transsexual.



Indeed, as far as you know. After being called out on everything I've said in this thread, I think defending myself is pointless as there will simply be a counter to it. I could say the sky is blue and you would say I'm looking at a puddle.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:12:51 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Fella, your profile's blank and I'm going from memory about your identification as a TG.  Not attacking you in the least.  Relax.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:17:57 PM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Fella, your profile's blank and I'm going from memory about your identification as a TG.  Not attacking you in the least.  Relax.


Oh, my profile is hidden now because of the constant griping about me being in the closet and still having my profile public. My logic was that my closest friends know who I am, my family can't tell a computer from a faucet, and even if they did somehow stumble across it, people only see what they want to see. I've crossdressed since I was nine years old, in my parent's home. We were a Christian family, very strict, and they somehow didn't notice that I was crossdressing. They sent me to therapy for my asperger's syndrome and my supposed ADD, but never once did they suspect I might have gender identification issues. That's why my profile was public -- I'm safe from discovery as long as no one throws it on a blimp or a billboard. Unfortunately I was called a liar or being accused of acting out some fantasy, so I hid my profile to stop that crap.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 5:19:39 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

How in the hell does you family NOT know your transgender-ed???? Either you had tits and had them removed or you had tits added. WTF Over???
Somebody is unfamiliar with the concepts under discussion.

_____________________________

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 7:59:58 PM   
TrinityMorgan


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/13/2007
Status: offline 		After seeing who the op of this was, I had to read it because the op is a good friend of mine.
I have known Etox for a long time now, and I have been helping him as much as possible with his gender issues. The way that his family is (and I have met them) is more then what he is describing. First off, if they even knew how to turn on a computer I would be shocked. And calling them Conservative Christians is well being nice. They are more accepting of some one with the aspergers syndrome and things like that then some one with a gender identity problem. To them, the gender identify problem is an affront to god, and just is not permitted in their family. If they ever thought that their son was to be this way they would disown him just to purify the family name. So I understand why he is not wanting to have himself outed, he would lose his family. Would you want your family to say that because you were different then them in some way that they would totally shun you and ignore you? I know that I would be devastated. How about you?

< Message edited by TrinityMorgan -- 11/8/2011 8:01:44 PM >

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 8:03:31 PM   
HannahLynn


Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline 		i'll let bender speak for me here.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 8:06:07 PM   
HannahLynn


Posts: 687
Joined: 10/16/2011
From: where its fucking at.
Status: offline
quote:

he would lose his family.
well if that's really the sort of fucking people they are, good riddance to bad rubbish i say.

(in reply to TrinityMorgan)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 9:03:32 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		If the pics got around, I'd just laugh and say they were a tasteless joke. If it was me personally.

_____________________________

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(in reply to ZenRiverOtter)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 9:29:45 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		If he was so worried about it, then he would get off of this website all together and get his shit in order. Nothing like leaving a permanent record that can be copied by the blackmailer so she can use this whole thread as well. This shit stays up permanetly unless the mods take it down.

Lets just dig the hole even deeper. What a load of bullocks.


_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to TrinityMorgan)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 10:17:39 PM   
kyira


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/5/2011
Status: offline 		The thing about blackmail is: It's the gift that keeps on giving... ;-/ If you don't confront it now, you're going to have to live the rest of your life under it's cloud. Seems like you need to put your big girl panties on (since you're transgendered :-), and talk to the police about it. If your friends, cow-orkers, and family find out about it, you can deal with it. :-)

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 10:26:27 PM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

If he was so worried about it, then he would get off of this website all together and get his shit in order. Nothing like leaving a permanent record that can be copied by the blackmailer so she can use this whole thread as well. This shit stays up permanetly unless the mods take it down.

Lets just dig the hole even deeper. What a load of bullocks.



Did anyone miss the part where I said it was going to happen and I just needed to know the best way to deal with it when the time came? Could you read before you judge? What's so hard about this. I never said I was worried, and I'm not leaving the site. Why are you guys being so ridiculous?

(in reply to JanahX)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/8/2011 11:34:09 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

If he was so worried about it, then he would get off of this website all together and get his shit in order. Nothing like leaving a permanent record that can be copied by the blackmailer so she can use this whole thread as well. This shit stays up permanetly unless the mods take it down.

Lets just dig the hole even deeper. What a load of bullocks.



Did anyone miss the part where I said it was going to happen and I just needed to know the best way to deal with it when the time came? Could you read before you judge? What's so hard about this. I never said I was worried, and I'm not leaving the site. Why are you guys being so ridiculous?



ummm maybe cuz you are acting like a freaking tared. Hell numerous posts gave you some good advice call the cops report the "evil doer" Of course you are going to have to man up and take consequences of cross dressing that you seem to be so concerned about.

Instead of your constant whining and defending your actions ...why don't you "Do something" about the black mail situation.

You have her email addy give it to the cops and they have the ability to track her down and deal with what happens next. It's real simple shit.

BadOne



< Message edited by SailingBum -- 11/8/2011 11:35:11 PM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/9/2011 12:00:44 AM   
ETOX123


Posts: 81
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: ETOX123

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

If he was so worried about it, then he would get off of this website all together and get his shit in order. Nothing like leaving a permanent record that can be copied by the blackmailer so she can use this whole thread as well. This shit stays up permanetly unless the mods take it down.

Lets just dig the hole even deeper. What a load of bullocks.



Did anyone miss the part where I said it was going to happen and I just needed to know the best way to deal with it when the time came? Could you read before you judge? What's so hard about this. I never said I was worried, and I'm not leaving the site. Why are you guys being so ridiculous?



ummm maybe cuz you are acting like a freaking tared. Hell numerous posts gave you some good advice call the cops report the "evil doer" Of course you are going to have to man up and take consequences of cross dressing that you seem to be so concerned about.

Instead of your constant whining and defending your actions ...why don't you "Do something" about the black mail situation.

You have her email addy give it to the cops and they have the ability to track her down and deal with what happens next. It's real simple shit.

BadOne




Once again, I did not say I was horribly concerned. You're putting words in my mouth. I was asking how I should address the situation because it was unfamiliar to me. You people keep attacking me over something that hasn't happened. I'm not acting like a 'tared'. I listened to the advice, I explored it, and I found that it was more complicated than that with the help of someone a bit more experience than myself. Can you please stop picking on me to make yourself feel better? All you're doing is making yourself look stupid.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: When a Domme Blackmails you - 11/9/2011 1:07:49 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		ok i'll bit what have you done to rectify the situation?

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ETOX123)
Profile   Post #: 80
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