wandersalone
Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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It is pretty timely for me to read this thread tonight as I just sent an email to my Dominant about my counseling session with my psychologist earlier this evening.
The event/s that triggered my PTSD was a car accident (plus about 5 others in the past) however most of my psych's patients have a history of abuse or were in combat etc. For this reason, I do not fit into any of the group programs the hospital runs so am having individual counseling - only on session two so far.
Tonight in our session my psych was explaining that instead of waiting for a threat to appear, my fight or flight reflex kicks in as soon as I have some sort of stress (which can be something such as hearing a car brake, being in or seeing a car, running out of milk - yes honestly ...so there doesn't seem to be a real pattern to it all yet). I am only 4 months post-trauma so I have a lot to learn about it all still.
My psych decided to use an example of what in the past would be seen as a stress but now is seen as a threat by me so my anxiety escalates and forgetting my initial trauma for a moment, he used an example of a car accident (jeeze, great ha ha). I immediately disassociated for a short time and was able to tell him when I came back that this had hapened as soon as he mentioned his example. Interestingly, my psych said that he noticed a change in my eyes as soon as I started to disassociate and suddenly realised what had caused it. It was helpful for him as he got to see exactly what happens to me when I am triggered, which is different to when I feel stressed which causes me to feel extremely anxious, to feel terror, sweat, feel faint etc.
For the panic related symptoms we are going to use CBT techhniques - deep breathing, maybe EMDR, exercise (from tomorrow I am to go for short walks around the block - he wants me to walk at my normal pace to one lamp-post and then walk very fast to the next lamp-post, then walk normally again then speed up and so on, for about 15 minutes initially. What this will do is show me how I can take control of my heart rate through exercise rather than it only being controlled by my panic attacks. The theory is that I will learn to control my heart rate and remember that I can change it myself).
For the times when I am triggered and disassociate, all of the CBT techniques in the world wont help as I am not able to process anything in my brain at that moment of being triggered. It literally happened in the blink of an eye tonight at the clinic so there is no time for me to actually start using any of my strategies. Instead what they do is work on desensitisation - attempts to make the original trauma less traumatic I guess you could say.
For me, this is going to involve me bringing in some photos of my car after the accident and I am already terrified about doing this as I avoid looking at them because they upset me so much. For people with childhood trauma it may involve taking them back to a time when they were younger but showing them that they are in a safe place at the same time. I have done something similar with my clients and whilst it can be a bit scary as you have no way of knowing how a client will react when taken back to the events or something which reminds them of those events, it can be amazingly effective and make a difference in one or two sessions.
Damn, I am babbling but it may be that desensitisation is the way for you to go as well with the triggering and disassociation.
As to my relationship with D, it is still very new and I hadn't actually got my PTSD diagnosis confirmed when we first started dating but I had a very strong feeling that this was what I was experiencing and I expplained all of this to D. We were living in the same place when we started dating and he knew how much I was struggling with my day to day life and as soon as my shrink suggested I return home to my family so that I could focus on counseling and recovery, D totally supported this even though it would mean we were separated by distance for a few months.
I also gave him the choice of opting out and he chose not to and said that we were in this together which was amazing for me. I journal for him most days (though there is no pressure on me if I don't do it and I have to use my own judgement about how I am feeling each day) and I write a lot to him about how my days are, symptoms,, triggers, my psych appointments etc. I am better at writing things rather than talking so he will read this and then ask questions or bring up anything he is unsure about or wants to know more about.
I tell him everything about this as it is such a huge part of my life at the moment.
To ground someone that has disassociated these are a couple of techniques I have used in the past with people - I would get their significant other in and we would set up a plan of some sort. My client would tell us the signs that they are disassociating eg. stop talking, far away look in eyes/glazed, tears, talking as if living that past event etc and often their partner/family member coud add in a few other signs. based on the type of past trauma we would then set up some grounding strategies eg, for someone who was traumatised by anger I would never suggest that someone raise their voice to them in an attempt to bring them back.
Something the partner might do is gently repeat their name, saying something like - Jenny, you are safe, Jenny can you hear me, Jenny it is ok and repeating these. Only ask questions that they can nod or shake their head to - eg. Jenny can you hear me. They might also touch an agreed upon place on their body eg. their arm or wrist, stroking it or pinching or tapping, whatever has been previously agreed upon as the technique, again to get the person back into their body.
Keep doing this until they are back in the moment. Give them time to adjust, it can take minutes or longer based on how long and how deeply they disassociated so don't ask them too many questions or talk too much, just stay beside them.
quote:
ORIGINAL: hausboy
It doesn't always get easier, but it does get different.
Hausboy I laughed when I read this comment of yours as it is so true. My triggers change and my reactions change, it is like having this wriggly worm and just when I think I have caught it, it squirms away again.
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Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
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My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885
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RE: PTSD - 
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Sometimes I find myself just wishing that meds could make it all better, even while knowing the whole time that would never be possible.
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