Killerangel -> RE: A submissive man needs to be under foot (11/21/2011 6:50:20 AM)
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I have a friend in a similar situation. He's now in his early 50's and not had sex with his wife for 12 years. She's mentally unstable, refuses to work on the marriage, just wants things to go her way while she nags incessantly, and won't screw him to boot. I'd have probably committed suicide years ago. He has stayed because he knows he was at fault for marrying her- some things were apparent back then and he didn't pay attention to them. He carried through with the marriage thinking that other good things would balance things out. He made a mistake as he knows now, we do that sometimes, and he's been paying for it. He has also stayed for his kids. Right or wrong, because I don't think a toxic marriage is good for 'the kids', he's stayed to raise them. Now he's got health issues himself and the prognosis isn't good. At this point he regrets staying and feels he missed out on a lot of happiness and personal contentment in order to fulfill his duties. In spite of his health issues he's decided to work at getting out. The wife has some physical illness issues as well and my friend is waiting for those to abate and then he's leaving. That's what he says anyway. So here's a guy stuck in a situation he made, he did what he thought he should and in the end is pissed he gave it as much as he did. He wishes he'd left years ago. He's taken control of his life and is working towards a solution now and should be leaving. She won't be happy, but his kids will understand and he'll have peace. He'll be free to follow where his heart leads him at that point with a clear conscience. OP, what can you do? Take your regrets and frustration and use them as fuel to get a plan together. Your wife isn't going to change probably (although that should be fully explored). What will you do to NOT be facing a limited years left of your life, and trapped in a crappy situation? We don't do our best thinking when we feel overwhelmed, try to put that aside and see what your options are.
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