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Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 2:57:52 PM   
zumala


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Okay, I just had someone contact me who seems to have read my profile and can actually combine the English language and a keyboard with decent proficiency.  Which is nice to see.  However, what they actually SAID has just thrown me for a loop.  What I want to know is, is my reaction intelligent and reasonable?
 
Here's the scenario.  My profile states that I'm married to a submissive male and that we're both interested in non-sexual training (D/s mostly) with the right people.  So I get mail from a couple (which again, is in line with what my profile indicates is desired) saying they will be happy to train and would "you and your husband be open to having you come to" their location for a weekend.
 
For some reason I read that as 'would you both be willing to come here'.  I asked them why they would offer to train both of us when their profile states they're looking for a beta slave (female only) and they responded that PTE was another interest of theirs.  I stated that going to their location would be expensive.  They said they would pay for my travel and then clarified that my husband was not invited.  That no sexual service would be required, but that nudity, breast play, and spanking would be part of the training.
 
Now...  First off, I don't like stripping down for a doctor, much less a stranger that wants to spank me.  Secondly, I'm a shy type of person.  Thirdly... how can one train both myself and my husband if I'm the only one there?  They suggest I take back what I learn to him, but that just doesn't sound like it would be nearly as effective.
 
To sum it up, the invite to just travel to them raised a red flag.  The clarification that I would be expected to go there alone raised a stadium full of red flags.  Am I right in responding this way, or am I over-reacting?
 
Thanks.
 
zuma

< Message edited by zumala -- 5/28/2006 2:59:05 PM >
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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:03:11 PM   
BitaTruble


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I've always found that my 'gut' reaction is very sound. Seems to be working just as well for you.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:08:11 PM   
ADomDoc


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Blow 'em off ... just another wannabe single guy who thinks you are gullible & stupid.  Admittedly ... when 2 couples are involved (giving him the remote possibility that he IS a couple) ... it's inconvenient for both to do the travelling.  But to ONLY invite you & not hubby ... that's BS.  Put a block on 'em and never look back.





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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:13:48 PM   
SirandMadam


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Disbelieve everything anyone on here tells you unless they are willing to prove they are genuine. Most so-called couples on the net are anything but.

< Message edited by SirandMadam -- 5/28/2006 3:16:03 PM >

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:15:35 PM   
lisa1978


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When in doubt always trust your instincts! I doubt seriously they would pay for travle if it cost that much for a little nudity and play if they were not hoping for more. Also if they offered it so quickly and easily I question how honest they are and how much experience they have.

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:20:45 PM   
zumala


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Thanks to all of you who have responded so far.  I've had a lot of obvious posers before, but this one just... was stranger than fiction, so to speak.
 
lisa1978, that was definately one of the things that had me looking at it funny.  Who in their right mind would just write to a complete stranger saying "Hey, yeah.  We'll pay to fly you to our city, which is hundreds of miles away from any place of safety that you have.  Oh, yeah... and your husband can't come. (mildly sarcastic paraphrase, not actual wording used)."  
 
zuma

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:24:12 PM   
JohnWarren


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Your husband is not invited? 

What are all those red lights flashing and why is a loud alarum bell ringing?

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:26:03 PM   
shyfem


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Zumala, being rather new myself, I think this offer smells rotten. I would go with my gut on it too. I saw the same red flags.

Regardless of whether they ARE actually a couple or just some guy looking for action, I think they have more in mind than just a little nudity. Your husband was not invited because, simply, they do not want him there, having no interest in the training aspect you seek.

~shy
-------------------------------
May all who tread here find what they seek

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:29:53 PM   
Level


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Don't go is my advice.

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:32:03 PM   
sublizzie


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They *started* with this? Ye gads. That's scary. Even the couple that wanted me to move in with them, over 500 miles away, talked to me for 3 days before making that command. Didn't go though. Gee. Can't imagine why!!

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:32:41 PM   
zumala


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Don't go is my advice.


Don't worry.  I have absolutely no intention of going.  It just blew my mind that anyone would even ask that way, much less expect someone to do it.  I'm not just some dumb cluck.
 
zuma

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:34:53 PM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: zumala

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Don't go is my advice.


Don't worry.  I have absolutely no intention of going.  It just blew my mind that anyone would even ask that way, much less expect someone to do it.  I'm not just some dumb cluck.
 
zuma


You certainly don't sound like a "dumb cluck"...... *smiles*....... stay strong and take care.
 
Level

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 3:36:23 PM   
WingedMedusa


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I'd definitely run the other way on this.  Go with your instincts.  Taking the time to find the right one is invaluable. 
My rule is to meet people in a public vanilla situation always.  (Oh, heck yest I have broken that a time or too, but aren't rules made to be broken??)  Most people are quite nice, but if you set your creep meter to sensitive and really listen to it I think you'd be wise.
There are plenty of honorable, non creepy people out there.  Keep looking until the right one comes along.
Good luck.

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 5:28:56 PM   
Proprietrix


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quote:

ORIGINAL: zumala
To sum it up, the invite to just travel to them raised a red flag.  The clarification that I would be expected to go there alone raised a stadium full of red flags. 


We get those red flags for a reason.
Even if everyone on this thread said it was a grand and nifty invitation and you should hop plane tomorrow to go get your ass spankied....
would that make less red flags?
To thine own self be true.
You spent a life learning how to see your red flags. Go ahead and trust yourself enough to heed them.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 5:35:49 PM   
zumala


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If everyone had agreed that it would be a great idea to go, I'd have to toss my previous good opinion of y'all out the window.    Most of you have repeatedly displayed maturity and good sense in the posts I've read.  I think I started this thread because A) I've gotten a lot of strange messages, but that one just took the cake as far as I was concerned, B) I felt like talking about it.  And it was also a double check to make sure I wasn't missing something somehow.
 
There are some days when my mind just runs around in high gear, and I can't get it to shut up.
 
zuma

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/28/2006 6:06:36 PM   
perverseangelic


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I get messages like this a -lot.- I'm looking for play partners for both my Owner and myself and 80% of the time people that write are only interested, when push comes to shove, in playing with me.

Meh. It always throws me for a loop when I get an articulate message, nice dialog, and then a request for me alone. I expect that from the less well spoken, but not the articulate ones. Yeah, I know this is a silly bias.


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RE: Just double checking... - 5/29/2006 12:11:44 AM   
becca333


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Another scary thought - how many people have been enticed to meet this couple?


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RE: Just double checking... - 5/29/2006 12:30:24 AM   
objectivist


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The only costly mistakes I've ever made, I made while going against my first instinct.  If something seems wrong, but you can't say why, it's not a mystic force. It's the sound made, when the sum total of every situation experienced and lesson you have been taught, is shaking it's collective head no.

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/29/2006 12:46:45 AM   
Lordandmaster


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I'd invite your husband, and I wouldn't offer to pay your travel fare.  That's the difference between a serious offer and a phoney one.

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RE: Just double checking... - 5/29/2006 5:39:26 AM   
zumala


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LAM, that was one of the things that raised my eyebrow.  Not that I have the money to travel just anywhere for a weekend anyway.  But for a complete stranger to just *POP* up and say that they'll pay my way up there for a weekend, but not my husband.  What did they THINK I was going to do? 
 
Anyone who responds to a line like that probably deserves to get caught.  But... that may be a little harsh, I suppose.  I'm not in such a huge yank to jump into training relationships because I'm perfectly happy and secure in my marriage.  Others aren't so lucky and they are more needy and more likely to leap before looking.  Or jumping with a blindfold purposefully put on if they did get red flags.
 
Afterall, it isn't like I haven't made my stupid mistakes.  They just weren't of this exact nature.
 
zuma

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