Do female and male subs view objectification differently?

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Do female and male subs view objectification differently? - 5/28/2006 10:10:37 PM

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Male subs, what do you think of this scenario:
A woman who you find decently attractive uses you as nothing more than a sexual toy for her pleasure. She wants no emotional connection with you and plans to disgard you, but only after having a good time with you -- perhaps even sharing you with a few of her equally good looking friends. You are used as an instrument of pleasure and not hurt; however, you don't get to request any pleasure for yourself.

Female subs - Same question?

A group of sorority girls in a college who have to kidnap a popular guy and use him suggestively, sensually and playfully as part of a stunt may have men lining up for the chance. A group of frat boys looking to do the same might have trouble finding a willing participant.

I'm a femdom who loves to objectify men. I generally only do it within the context of a relationship, but I'd be interested in exploring it with men who didn't mind no strings attached; however, I think the *fantasy* of it is more appealing to men than the reality of it. Especially if he finds himself getting emotionally involved.

Akasha

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/28/2006 10:25:52 PM

perverseangelic

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While that kind of situation isn't something I'd seek out in a long-term relationship, it's something that does strongly appeal to me as a short term, part time, or scene-only thing. That is, I couldn't become emotionally invested in someone that was itnerested in me in that way, but I find it very very appealing to play with someone who wants to use me like that.

So, I enjoy it the same way I enjoy the fantasy--as a part time thing, that has a definate -end-. Still, gotta admit it's more than a little appealing to be used for pleasure and discarded.

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 1:41:13 AM

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I don't know much about this one - is it similar to one-night stands, in a BDSM kind of way?

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 2:03:32 AM

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I' m not into this at all. For me the submission is an emotional connection which is part of a close relationship. I like to be admired because I am so submissive, pretty, obedient feminine sub but also because of who I am, my life, my work. Objectification plays no part in that. Call me darling or baby but never slut.

(in reply to becca333)

RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 3:07:15 AM

Gem

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Brightest Blessings

Sounds like a very good time :).

I believe that woman tie sex and submission in with love, therefore for most it might be something they have a fantasy about, but would not actually enjoy. Many regrets the next morning.

While I believe that men are raised to accept the slut gene *chuckles*. They have the freedom to be that slut, and most men would absolutely love the opportunity.

I embraced my slut gene long ago, we are old friends LOL so I can and have gotten off on objectification.

Blessed Be
Gem

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 3:26:25 AM

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Not my cup of tea.

*Brightspot

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 3:46:20 AM

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also not my cup of tea. i'm too relationship-oriented.

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 3:48:14 AM

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Of course, same way that one person will see it differently than another person.

-mellian

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 4:02:32 AM

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I think the examples you've given are bound to skew the responses. No, I don't want to be used by a bunch of frat boys (please, I have better things to do) but I have had sessions with dominant men knowing full well I was nothing more than a play thing to be used as they saw fit then sent home. No emotional attachment. No strings. No expectations. And it was pretty damn hot. I wouldn't do it with just anyone, but with the right person it can be a mind blowing experience.

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 4:34:25 AM

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Not a situation for me at all.

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 5:33:57 AM

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Not my thing.

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 5:51:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

but I have had sessions with dominant men knowing full well I was nothing more than a play thing to be used as they saw fit then sent home. No emotional attachment. No strings. No expectations. And it was pretty damn hot. I wouldn't do it with just anyone, but with the right person it can be a mind blowing experience.

i agree

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 8:03:00 AM

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No thanks.

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 8:05:56 AM

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Nope

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 8:15:47 AM

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I would have no interest if it was just total random people with no emotional connetion. Now I love being objectified when I am owned by a Master and/or Mistress who I have an emotional connection to and if they order me to do your scenario and it brings them pleasure then I would enjoy it very much.

I though also believe your example of fraternity/sorority is not really a D/s or BDSM thing as much as it is a sexual thing and gets into the area of a woman taking on multiple partners/gang bang and safety issues.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 9:54:55 AM

jand

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Male subs, what do you think of this scenario:

A woman who you find decently attractive uses you as nothing more than a sexual toy for her pleasure. She wants no emotional connection with you and plans to disgard you, but only after having a good time with you -- perhaps even sharing you with a few of her equally good looking friends. You are used as an instrument of pleasure and not hurt; however, you don't get to request any pleasure for yourself.

...

A group of sorority girls in a college who have to kidnap a popular guy and use him suggestively, sensually and playfully as part of a stunt may have men lining up for the chance. A group of frat boys looking to do the same might have trouble finding a willing participant.

since you just borrowed these from the plot outlines for almost all erotic fiction written by men, i think you know what your answer from men will be :)

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 10:06:46 AM

jand

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seriously though, i don't think men and women view objectification differently. i just think that more men say that they desire it because they think that it's their "in" to a sexual relationship that's better than what they have. i won't start off a big argument and say that i think men want sex more than women, but i will say that we seem to be more willing to take parts in activities that we wouldn't otherwise and more willing to lower our standards for what qualifies as good sex in order to get more. so once you weed out those that are just submitting themselves to objectification in order to be involved in more sex (the people whom you describe as liking the fantasy of it more than the reality), the question is are there more women than men who really actually enjoy it.

(in reply to lisa1978)

RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 10:55:19 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Male subs, what do you think of this scenario:
A woman who you find decently attractive uses you as nothing more than a sexual toy for her pleasure. She wants no emotional connection with you and plans to disgard you, but only after having a good time with you -- perhaps even sharing you with a few of her equally good looking friends. You are used as an instrument of pleasure and not hurt; however, you don't get to request any pleasure for yourself.

[Snip]

I'm a femdom who loves to objectify men. I generally only do it within the context of a relationship, but I'd be interested in exploring it with men who didn't mind no strings attached; however, I think the *fantasy* of it is more appealing to men than the reality of it. Especially if he finds himself getting emotionally involved.

Akasha

Akasha, thank you for this great topic. Your posts are always thought-provoking and well-written.

This is certainly a role-reversal scenario and very exciting to think about. Speaking for myself, objectification is a very intense fantasy, and one that I've thought about for as long as I can remember.

As far as which men might or might not become emotionally involved after such a scenario has been played out, I really believe that it depends on the male. A younger and more inexperienced sub might think that he has struck gold, whereas the seasoned submissive might enter into this with his eyes wide open, knowing that this might just be a play scene that may never be repeated.

It might also be easier to maniplulate the younger, more inexperienced sub, but then it could backfire. It might not be something you would necessarily want to fool around with using someone that you have only recently met.

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 11:16:01 AM

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Ahem, err, ummina, well,

I'm obviously not an Aakasha sub, but I wanted to respond, anyway.

I think the fantasy to be used and discarded appeals to men, especially subbies, because they want the reassurance that how they've treated women in the past is really 'ok' if there's a woman out there who treats men that way, too.

As for Me, if this were not 2006, and if aids and STD's were not as prevalent as they are, I'd happily use and discard a sub male, hell, I'd use and discard dozens of them!

Alas, it IS 2006, and HIV and STD's being what they are, I know My days of tromping over men's bodies and leaving them strewn behind Me like so much flotsam and jetsam are long gone, along with the heady days of unprotected sex just because a guy looked really 'hot'.

No multiple partners for Me. Nope. Not realistic. Not safe!

Give Me a boy who wants to be used and discarded over and over again by the same Domme, now THAT's what I'm talkin' about!

Oh, Wait, that's bobbi! I've got one of those!

Yahoooo!

; )

TM

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RE: Do female and male subs view objectification differ... - 5/29/2006 11:48:00 AM

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Akasha,

    It took me a couple of reads of your post to really see what was being said here. For the sake of several dualities in the post (my interpretation), I'll play Devil's Advocate and give a couple of different viewpoints.

    From the standpoint of objectification itself, I think it depends greatly upon the nature of the relationship between the sub/slave and the Master/Mistress/Dom(me). Even then, it is probably more something that a slave would be able to handle internally than a submissive (based upon my definition of the difference between a sub and a slave). In this case, I don't think the question need be considered gender specific. A man might be more apt of be 'used' without regard for his own pleasure than a woman, but if the man and the woman were slaves (with what I think that entails) then it probably doesn't matter.

    But upon rereading the post I finally noticed the 'discarding' portion. I believe very strongly that in any D/s or M/s situation it is the responsibility of the Master/Mistress/Dom(me)/Top/Whomever to safeguard the health and well-being of the sub/slave/bottom/floor-scrubber/etc. Even on top of the obvious HIV/health issues, more to the point is what I would consider the psychological ramifications of the scenario. If someone is used and 'kept' in whatever fashion is agreed (24/7 vs. full-time vs. part-time), then the activity, whether it seems tasteful or not, is far more responsible than being used and 'tossed'. People who have the submissive drive would see the activity as perhaps enough attention to merit a look, but without the emotional connection of a lasting relationship would probably, rightly, see the scene as empty sex. Ultimately, what would be the point in that?

(in reply to TexasMaam)

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