Emperor1956
Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005 Status: offline
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I witnessed something this weekend that has troubled Me, and I thought I'd post a note about it and catch the wisdom of the group (I have been told 'of course, you are an extrovert and you can't figure out what you are thinking until you hear it from someone else'. Smart woman, there.) My girl and I went to a public play party Saturday night at one of the area's best known play spaces. Because this is IML weekend, there were a ton of people in town, and the party was quite large. It was totally open -- if you had an ID and would sign the club's waiver, you were in. A couple came in to play about 11:30 pm. I didn't know them, but my girl did, having seen them play before. This couple is into breath deprivation by choking, hanging and drowning. My girl had seen the Dom (male) drown the sub (female) in a large tub at a previous party. She has also seen the Dom hang the sub until the sub went unconcious. My girl and I were sitting to one side of the play space, and the scenes I am going to describe took place about 10 yards from us, and there were people in between, so My narrative is as I saw / heard things, not a "verbatim" video of the event. Also, I was not really consumed by their scene (although many in the space, including My girl, were.) This evening, they began with the Dom choking the sub, first with his hands, and then with a rope or cord. They progressed slowly and deliberately, with her being very verbal and physical, pushing him away, clawing at his hands, etc. This was not a quick, or quiet scene. I would estimate that he choked and released her about 10 times over an hour, bringing her closer and closer to unconciousness. There were periods where he held her up (so it appeared) and she regained breath. Then he'd choke her again, while she yelled, or cursed, or gasped and sputtered. Then he put her on her hands and knees and forced her head into a bowl of water (which I think, but can't swear, had ice cubes in it). He had her gasping and sputtering, and near to blacking out. We left at 1 am, and she was still in the process of being drowned. We did not see her lose conciousness, but my girl tells Me that she has seen this play before by this couple, and it ends with the girl out cold. My girl muttered at one point "it is like watching a train wreck. You can't look away, even if you want to." I wasn't compelled to look, although I admit some fascination and a lot of revulsion when I did watch. I was surprised the DMs let this scene go on. I would have not allowed it, I think, had I been one of the persons in charge. I have a raft of reasons. I was NOT concerned about the consent issue, as this appeared to be fully consensual, and as I say the couple is apparently well known in our local scene for this play. I think I come down to this: If (and I fear, when) the girl doesn't revive, I don't want to be in the room. I would stop the scene to avoid being a nonconsenual witness to her suicide/murder. I don't want to be interviewed by the police and crime scene investigators. I don't want that scene imprinted in My brain. I have a ton of other concerns, and yes, I'm intelligent enough to be conflicted on imposing those concerns. For example, we don't usually allow people to commit suicide in front of us. And this is, as best as I can tell, a long, slow death wish being fulfilled. On the other hand, I don't go around screaming "STOP HER STOP HER" when a Domme friend lights up a cigarette in My presence. My friend knows the risks of smoking, and I assume she's made a decision. Why can I not assume the aphyxiated submissive also made that informed decision? For another example, the crowd had many "newbies" that night. I thought then, and I think now "Should we have a disclaimer somewhere? What would it say? "DON'T TRY THIS....EVER"? Am I responsible to educate those that are interested/brave enough to attend a play party for the first time what is 'standard' kink, what is 'edgy' and what is way out there? I should add that throughout the evening/night there was a male sub involved in a very long, and loud, fisting scene with several participants, some of whom I knew to be very experienced Dommes and Doms. I didn't think that that scene needed to be curtailed, or explained to the newcomer. A word on experience: I am not a blushing flower. I've been a part of and witnessed extreme fisting, bloodsport, fireplay and similar "edge play" scenes during a long involvement in WIIWD. While I don't personally engage in breath play, I have used a strategic gag or hand over the mouth to restrict My partner's breath. I don't think my reaction is "your kink is NOT my kink". I think I have fundamental issues with this play. I think it is unethical to allow it in a public play space. If either model of our ethics rules ("RACK" or "SSC") is applied, I still have issues. Would you have shut down the suffocation scene? E.
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"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?" "What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?" "I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said.
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