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dwntherabbithole -> RE: scammer (12/19/2011 5:31:09 PM)
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I read the OP's message, and it elicited in me a bit of sadness. Why? Well, I am not sure anyone actually cares why, but I will share the why of it anyway. I think mainly it's the fact that many of us, as a group, have chosen or decided to live our romantic and sexual lives in a niche: we lead an alternative lifestyle, and one that is not very well understood or accepted in a vast majority of cases and locales. So here we congregate, hoping to find, well, I cannot really speak for anyone else except for myself, but I am hoping to find love. I know how completely sappy that sounds, trust me, but it is also very true. On this site, and others, I network out and hope to find something real. I am quite sure that others here feel the same.
The problem in all of this is that for those of us who identify as submissive or dominant, this is what we are. I gave up attempting to have vanilla relationships quite some time ago, because as a submissive, I found the traditional dynamic to be both unsatisfying and also more than a little dishonest on my part. It's difficult to wear the pants in the family and be expected to be the man of the house when all I really want is for my wife to turn me over her knee when I displease her, and maybe even just for kicks.
And, so, here I am, alongside everyone else, facing the same challenges and tribulations, but also a little joy as well. At this point, I will admit to something: sometimes, I feel a little desperate and I do despair of finding that person who will fill my life with happiness and chores and the occasional slap to the backside. Yes, I have moments of weakness in which I think not so much with my little head, but with my emotions. Because, in some respects, this can be a lonely life, at least I have found that to be the case. Which brings me round to this: while it is true that some scammers lure us with pure carnal desire, it is just as often that they play upon our emotions. I really shouldn't say "our" as I've never actually been successfully scammed. But I have carried on long conversations via the messaging system here only to find out at some point that I am expected to either sign up for a Website or send money to some undisclosed location, in the form of actual money or gift certificates or what have you.
Now, at this point, I know I am being scammed, as should anyone with any sense, and I end things fairly quickly. So, I am not out anything of value, but I am left with a fair amount of disappointment. That's the part that hurts. And so my little "woe is me" essay, which does sound so "woe is me"-ish as I read it back to myself, but is not really meant that way. I speak in personal terms based on some of my experiences, and while I have run across the odd bad actor, I have also met some pretty nice people as well. It's a mixed bag, of course, just like life.
So, what's the point? I think a lot of people have piled on the OP, some for good reason, but I wonder if he's acting more out of emotional distress at unmet needs than, say, unrequited and stupefying lust. Sure, he could be a sex crazed idiot who deserves everything that's coming to him. If that's the case, he'll go broke before he does any real damage. But my more charitable angels wonder if this was an act of a man spurned in love. Several times over. Losing his pension in the process. Well, it could happen.
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