Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Am I doing anything wrong?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Am I doing anything wrong? Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/25/2011 8:53:04 PM   
straponcr


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/10/2011
Status: offline
I have been on here for some time, on and off, and have met a few very nice and gorgeous Dommes but have yet to have a in person session with out paying for it (which I don't mind at all) but would be nice to experience a Lifestyle Domme's as well. Any suggestions on approach or best way to meet one. Thank you..
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/25/2011 9:05:09 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
The problem is that you want to experience an in person 'session' with a lifestyle Domme. Women who do this as a lifestyle choice are usually into having some type of relationship with their submissives, they don't usually just practice kink with anyone. So, try to meet a woman in the general way that you usually meet women- as a person.

How do you meet a woman at a party? Do you walk up and ask her if she's into strapons and milking? Or do you talk about the weather before moving on to discussing the holidays? Dommes are women first, they need to feel attracted to you as a man, so approach someone in the general manner of how men and women get to know each other without the kink. Your profile is a  mess, the nude show and tell pics and the lack of anything personal pretty much guarantees that no lifestyle Domme will find anything of interest there to work with.

(in reply to straponcr)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/25/2011 9:13:01 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
Your profile is blank, except for a list of your fetishes.

Your pics are nudes of yourself, except for some taken from the Internet.

Who the hell ARE you?  Do you like to fish and camp?  Watch movies?  Cook gourmet dinners?

Figure out who you are and what you like doing.  Then describe that verbally, and show some pics of you doing it.  If you want to pay a pro, your profile is fine.  If you expect to offer a woman a relationship, show her what the two of you would be doing.

Woo her, dammit!


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/25/2011 10:26:52 PM   
RealLady


Posts: 39
Joined: 6/14/2010
Status: offline
Sweetcheeks, dominant wome are NOT like men:  we don't get all worked up and horny looking at naked boy pics with erect cocks standing at attention.  We then do not go out looking for these men waving their willies at us and expect us to come-a-running.  No, doesn't work that way.  we like a connection, a relationship with our sweet little subbies.especially after he has served us very well
Waving your flesh baton is going to send women running in opposite directions as fast as they can go.
I'm sleepy and a little drunk after a Christmas party but there's my

(in reply to straponcr)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/25/2011 11:15:21 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: straponcr

I have been on here for some time, on and off, and have met a few very nice and gorgeous Dommes but have yet to have a in person session with out paying for it (which I don't mind at all) but would be nice to experience a Lifestyle Domme's as well. Any suggestions on approach or best way to meet one. Thank you..


Well, yes ...

You have a profile that is turned off! So how is THAT working for you????

Not well ... I guess ...

So how do you meet women in real life?

The same way you do here? Or differently?

And now that I ask, are you even successful in real life?

If so, try it the same way ... be courteous and a gentleman ... Dommes like that!

But if you are a jerk ... you get blown off ....

Simple, right?

(in reply to straponcr)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/25/2011 11:32:54 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: straponcr

I have been on here for some time, on and off, and have met a few very nice and gorgeous Dommes but have yet to have a in person session with out paying for it (which I don't mind at all) but would be nice to experience a Lifestyle Domme's as well. Any suggestions on approach or best way to meet one. Thank you..


I used to occasionally enjoy topping guys who were friends, just to keep the hunger for power exchange under control, otherwise I was more vulnerable to going into "Dom frenzy". Guys who bottomed for me took time to get to know me as a person; their lives depended on how well I knew safeties and if I was batshit crazy.

If you are looking for young lovelies, I have a hard time imagining any of them being in between subs for a while and needing to deflect energy. (For NSA, even at 47 I had my pick of most of the kinky males in my area, from college kids to senior citizens.)

What attracted me to my sub was his personality as well as the power exchange that started up, no matter how much I tried to beat it down, so that we could just remain friends. It started from the synergy between our personalities...without roleplay, cybering, negotiations, nor kinky play. (It started like a dance of sorts, but my soul heard the music before my brain did.)

If finding my sub had been a sort of youth/beauty contest, with my having to put on a kinky performance that would beat my college aged competition...

A castle door would have slammed shut...yeah, in the highest room of the tallest tower, lol...and piranha would have been added to the moat.


(in reply to straponcr)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/25/2011 11:41:51 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
He already turned his profile off .... just trolling ... you know ...

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/26/2011 12:22:06 AM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

He already turned his profile off .... just trolling ... you know ...


Nah. He listened and made another profile. A nice one.

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/26/2011 4:18:14 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline
The first thing I do dislike is a nude picture sent to me! That is just not cool
some may like it but not many at all!  So just write about you, whom you are
what you like or dislike!  Everyone has a body and yours would be no different plus
you do not have a profile! That ends it right there!  It is just so nice they have that
feature it helps weed out the ones whom are not real!

,mons

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/26/2011 7:03:23 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: straponcr

I have been on here for some time, on and off, and have met a few very nice and gorgeous Dommes but have yet to have a in person session with out paying for it (which I don't mind at all) but would be nice to experience a Lifestyle Domme's as well. Any suggestions on approach or best way to meet one. Thank you..


OP, I saw the profile before you turned it off, just didn't have time to respond then. Since this is a constant topic on these boards I don't think it'll be a waste to repeat yet again what others have said so many times.

The following can be applied to (mostly) men in any kink category since we're talking about the gender divide here, not orientation. Men insist upon going forth and pursuing women like they are men, and then asking why they don't 'get' any women. Wtf? It's such a constant topic. I think that someday the men will get tired of the constant frustration they feel at not accomplishing their goal, but they don't seem to as they're on here continually wondering why they can't find what they are looking for. Women are never going to respond to a shout-out for any women who fits certain criteria to please come and get naked. Women want to be wanted for themselves. Period. That takes time and energy and if men aren't willing to put in some of that then they don't get lucky. It's simple folks, very simple.

-The sexually or kinky usernames are a turn off and will pretty much guarantee that a woman won't open your mail.

-A woman can find sex/kink pretty much anywhere, it's not something special to offer her something she can get at the drop of a hat.

-A woman isn't motivated like a man is by sex/kink. She is more motivated by relationships be they casual or long term. In other words, she has to like the person she is getting naked with and want to spend time with them outside of nude activities.

-Sexually explicit or nude pics are a turnoff. If she wants to see your goodies at some point she'll ask. If she wants to look at naked pics there's free porn. Knock it off with the picture book mentality of 'this is what I like to do'....duh. We get it.   Oh....and no pics of the ex, that's disgusting. If we don't want to see your nude self ,we certainly don't want to see her.

-Who are you going after? The young hotties have first pick and will get to pick from the top of the food chain. Someone in another state may not be interested. Choose your audience more wisely and you may get some responses.

-You know what? Lifestyle Dommes are hard to find, just because you put a shout-out for one doesn't mean a freaking thing.

-Listing all kink and sex in your profile is a major turnoff for most women, I won't answer emails from men like that because to me, that's the entire ball of wax from their point of view. Getting naked and doing stuff naked. Ho hum. As I pointed out I can get that anywhere, why pick you?

There's more, I just lost the desire I had to put things down at this point. OP, you aren't finding any lifestyle Dommes to experience for casual sessions because they aren't interested in what you are offering. Instead of thinking you are ordering off of a menu, treat these women like women. It's not rocket science, approach them as individual women.

(in reply to straponcr)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/26/2011 8:28:23 AM   
bighappygoth39


Posts: 633
Joined: 10/7/2009
Status: offline
Just to add my bit to this. When I was first getting to know what I enjoyed I did in fact meet some men for play sessions, but I got to know them quite well first. I still felt I had to actually like them before agreeing to do a play session. They knew I was only really interested in that at that point, but they also knew that they still had to make some effort for me to agree to even meet them. I also had no interest in men who thought they were getting sex from it, as that was definitely not on the cards.
I can't agree more with most of what has already been put. Even a play partner has to show that he has some respect for the lady in question and that he sees her as a woman and not just a robot dominatrix.




_____________________________

I just lurrves me chesticles, I do. :)

Don't judge a book by its cover, it could well be worth a good sniff or two...

(in reply to straponcr)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/26/2011 8:46:56 AM   
Fornica


Posts: 2986
Status: offline
Yes. You're doing a whole shitload of things wrong. Listen to the women in here advising you.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.


(in reply to bighappygoth39)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/26/2011 2:03:32 PM   
MistrixMsE


Posts: 198
Joined: 1/3/2010
From: Chicago, USA - Touring Internationally
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fornica

Yes. You're doing a whole shitload of things wrong. Listen to the women in here advising you.


What she said x2


_____________________________

Sadist with a sense of humor... your predicament amuses me.

(in reply to Fornica)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Am I doing anything wrong? - 12/26/2011 2:08:05 PM   
Ninebelowzero


Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline
Naaah mate ignore them they are always wrong...

Runs & hides.

_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to MistrixMsE)
Profile   Post #: 14
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Am I doing anything wrong? Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078