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A good profile - 12/26/2011 7:51:48 AM

Posts: 10
Joined: 8/5/2011
Status: offline

Dear Dominas
I have been on this site for quite some time now. I have not written anything on my profile, I only filled out the standard questions. The few times I made contact with a Lady I would write what I think to Her what my usefulness would be. Sometimes with success and sometimes not. I undersatnd that men and Women think entirely differently. What I think is a good menu of myself is, may not be enticing to Her. I am a man of what I hope to be of class. And though I embrace this Female Domination life and all the fetishes associated, I do not write anything that is disrespectful, tasteless,or inappropriate to a Lady. Can you advise me what a Lady may find attractive in a profile to spark an interest? Thank you in advance.

RE: A good profile - 12/26/2011 7:52:36 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

read the FAQs. seriously.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to captivebeast2)

RE: A good profile - 12/26/2011 8:49:10 AM

Posts: 2986
Status: offline

What she said.

_____________________________

There is no spoon.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: A good profile - 12/26/2011 9:06:34 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

read the FAQs. seriously.

^^^^THIS^^^^

I know when I was searching as a sub, I ignored blank profiles. I can't see how that would be much different for a domme too. We are both still women.

Empty profiles are targets for findommes and pros, not lifestylers.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: A good profile - 12/26/2011 9:17:40 AM

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Fella, your initial post reads like an accountant on barbiturates. Fer gosh sakes, when you write your profile, show more personality.

I suggest you pick some activities that you enjoy, and that you want to do with your Domme. Eating out, going to the theater, camping, fishing, bowling, etc. Then mention them in your profile, and throw in some pictures of you that fit (for theater, pics of yourself dressed up; for camping, a pic of yourself pitching a tent or splitting wood, etc.)

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to searching4mysir)

RE: A good profile - 12/26/2011 9:50:11 AM

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

I suggest you pick some activities that you enjoy, and that you want to do with your Domme. Eating out, going to the theater, camping, fishing, bowling, etc. Then mention them in your profile, and throw in some pictures of you that fit (for theater, pics of yourself dressed up; for camping, a pic of yourself pitching a tent or splitting wood, etc.)

you REALLY should macro this, STeven!! LOL

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: A good profile - 12/26/2011 9:58:26 AM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

Captivebeast,

I looked at your profile and, just as you said, you only answered the questions and that's all. Otherwise it's totally empty. What you DID say is all about your kinky interests and nothing else. I would totally pass that profile by because it says nothing about you as a person. Try writing about yourself and your vanilla interests also. A person can't be doing kink 24/7 you know.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to captivebeast2)

RE: A good profile - 12/26/2011 10:10:28 AM

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

Your profile is something I'd completely pass by and it makes me shudder. I cannot stand men who make it plain as day that it's all about themselves and their dicks. Your profile as it stands is a dime a dozen. The only thing in it is your sex/kink interests...bleah

. I could care less about what gets off some guy that I DON'T KNOW.

What would be good to have is to tell about yourself in your life. Do you have a pet? Like Chinese food? Like to travel? Why the hell do guys think women want to know intimate private details about them before we even know their name? What do you have to offer a potential partner...do you speak another language or give good massages? What in the hell makes you stand out from any other guy? Hint- it's not what you like to do in the bedroom. What women want to know about you is what makes you you and if you have halfway decent social skills. They don't want to know that you want to be spanked and have your asshole played with- that kind of conversation comes later when you've established some mutual interest.

(in reply to captivebeast2)

RE: A good profile - 12/27/2011 6:40:49 PM

Posts: 127
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Sheffield, UK
Status: offline

As a sub, I wouldn't message a dom/me profile that is blank, and I'm sure dom/mes wouldn't message yours. As advised, get some interesting and useful information on there, and hopefully a pic, and you may find people become more interested in talking with you. Good luck.

_____________________________

'Be humble, because you are made of Earth;
Be noble, because you are made of Stardust.'
Navaho saying.

'There is no way to peace and happiness;
Peace and happiness is the way.'
The Buddha

(in reply to Killerangel)

RE: A good profile - 12/27/2011 6:55:05 PM

Posts: 33
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captivebeast2

Dear Dominas
Can you advise me what a Lady may find attractive in a profile to spark an interest? Thank you in advance.

Brace yourself. This isn't gentle:

Often in life, what you put forth is what you receive. I think what is attractive to most ladies is the truth. Discuss yourself, your desires and intentions accurately and honestly. Put up a picture that does NOT involve any nudity or lewd exposure and you'll be 10x further ahead than 7/10 of the other men here.

BUT... if you're just another run-of-the-mill, vapid, sex-fiend jerk... keep your profile exactly as it is, it's perfect.

Also... Seriously... reading and writing more frequently can strengthen your written articulation. (It will not prevent over usage of ellipses though. :P )

< Message edited by Masticator -- 12/27/2011 6:56:36 PM >

(in reply to captivebeast2)

RE: A good profile - 12/27/2011 8:14:41 PM

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

She's funny; can we keep her?

(in reply to Masticator)

RE: A good profile - 12/27/2011 8:35:52 PM

Posts: 603
Joined: 10/23/2011
Status: offline

I REALLY don't understand why all these questions keep "cropping" up about writing a "good" profile, and "rating" my profile.

Profiles should be as individualistic as the people who write them. Not everyone is going to be drawn to the same descriptions, the same likes and dislikes, the same backgrounds, etc. So no matter how much advice one may receive, in the end your profile is going to be whatever you make it.
There is no certain type of profile that is going to guarantee your message box will overflow with interested responses.

Meeting a suitable partner in this Lifestyle takes much more time than in a vanilla relationship. Herein, patience is a virtue.

(in reply to kalikshama)

RE: A good profile - 12/28/2011 12:29:11 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I think one reason why the profile question comes up regularly is because guys are problem solvers at heart - so they come here and put forth into the universe what they want, and then when they don't get it they're confused and don't know how to proceed. Being problem solvers, they figure the problem is with the profile, not with what they want, or how they are going about things at the base of their approach.

Their basic problem is that they are still figuring that women are just like men, if they are here with an eye to getting the sexy well dressed Domina who says all the right things, then there must be one waiting here to be gotten. It doesn't occur to them that they're the one millionth visitor in line for that Domina, or that she may not be approaching things in the same manner that they are. The individual approach to profiles is a mystery to the average guy on this site, they figure they want something so they put in the order. When it doesn't get filled they seem to think the problem is in how they placed the order and they just want to fix their order placing ability so they can get their BDSM happy meal. The missing piece of the puzzle has got to be that they didn't use the right combination of magic words in the profile, so they go forth to find out what the magic words are and their problem will be solved, voila!

(in reply to Clickofheels)

RE: A good profile - 12/28/2011 2:28:05 AM

Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

I think one reason why the profile question comes up regularly is because guys are problem solvers at heart - so they come here and put forth into the universe what they want, and then when they don't get it they're confused and don't know how to proceed. Being problem solvers, they figure the problem is with the profile, not with what they want, or how they are going about things at the base of their approach.

Their basic problem is that they are still figuring that women are just like men, if they are here with an eye to getting the sexy well dressed Domina who says all the right things, then there must be one waiting here to be gotten. It doesn't occur to them that they're the one millionth visitor in line for that Domina, or that she may not be approaching things in the same manner that they are. The individual approach to profiles is a mystery to the average guy on this site, they figure they want something so they put in the order. When it doesn't get filled they seem to think the problem is in how they placed the order and they just want to fix their order placing ability so they can get their BDSM happy meal. The missing piece of the puzzle has got to be that they didn't use the right combination of magic words in the profile, so they go forth to find out what the magic words are and their problem will be solved, voila!

Great point

(in reply to lizi)

RE: A good profile - 12/28/2011 7:58:05 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seababy

Great point

Thanks. I'm honestly a fan of men, I really like them and have several of them in my life/family. Many times, they don't tend to look deeper into things. They understand there are multiple approaches to a situation, but they go through those approaches methodically for the most part, not digging their way into the layers underneath until they try what is most obvious.

The first thing they start with is being ruled by their dick, they don't seem to realize that women aren't the same or that women want different things. Because their dick demands certain things, they go to get the things, and they assume that others wish to place orders for their needs as well. They see a site where there are naked people frolicking all over, and profiles of 'women' saying that they too wish to be immediately gratified in their sexual desires, so the guys are reinforced in their initial beliefs that sex/kink is there for the asking and all they need to do is ask for or order it up to their liking.

When they don't get the sex/kink, it's got to be that the ordering process has gone wrong, because the site and the profiles and the porn they watch are still reinforcing that there is a woman here to be had, therefore they just have to know how to get her. I've seen guy after guy say "It can't be that hard to find a woman that is into what I am into." It is that hard though, because women are not men and aren't 'into' things like guys are. The guys don't get that though, they never think or understand that their basic underlying premise is off, they're still assuming women are here in great numbers and wanting what the guy wants. The guys just don't seem to get that on a site like this, women are still women and need to be approached as women. The perfect profile will only get them so far. It might get them a conversation, but it won't unlock the magic door to supply them with a woman who will do the things that their dick imagines in it's fondest dreams.

(in reply to seababy)

RE: A good profile - 12/28/2011 9:05:12 AM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: captivebeast2

Captivebeast,

I do think that the first requirement is that you try to connect your personality with that of your female 'target'. Having nothing in your profile makes you a non-starter in this respect. However, assuming that you do eventually write something, I'd suggest that you avoid writing in the way that you have in your question on this thread. It looks stilted and formal. A little more laid-back, I think, would help. You are doing the written equivalent of meeting a woman at a bar, not writing a CV/resume for a job. In short: relax a little!

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to captivebeast2)

RE: A good profile - 12/28/2011 10:50:14 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Lizi's points are great!

When it comes to profiles, other than recommending the use of spellcheck and noun/verb use (dominant v. dominate) I advise men to just go with what feels right. If someone is a complete dickcentric jackwagon, he's doing us all--and himself--a favour by making that clear. If someone is not a good writer, then they're not, and no amount of editing is going to change that in realtime.

Once upon a time, I was very pleased to meet men for meaningless acts of sadism and depravity. I am sure that there are women out there who still feel that way, and don't even charge!

Be yourself. Whatever that self is.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: A good profile - 12/28/2011 11:15:34 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I like to see they can read.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 12/28/2011 11:16:04 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to captivebeast2)

RE: A good profile - 12/28/2011 11:19:32 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I like to see they can read.

See, expecting too much from the menz is just courting disappointment.

Are the women any better? Only at first, I have found...

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: A good profile - 12/28/2011 11:21:54 AM

Posts: 3134
Joined: 8/5/2011
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how can you be disappointed, we have a willy!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I like to see they can read.

See, expecting too much from the menz is just courting disappointment.

Are the women any better? Only at first, I have found...

_____________________________

More come backs than Frank Sinatra

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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