"Protected" by someone not in RL?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

"Protected" by someone not in RL?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> "Protected" by someone not in RL?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

"Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/23/2004 10:06:11 PM

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline

I have to admit to being mildly confused by something. This is a small group of girls who are claiming to be under the protection of someone they are not even living in the same state with. What exactly is the dominant protecting you from? Bad spelling? Poor grammar? If it is strictly to do with your account here, can't you block someone and delete emails more easily than he can?

Note that I have acted as a protector to someone, but I have never lived more an hour away from them nor have I mentored them. I have always found another female submissive/bottom/slave to do so. To me, only someone who is what you want to be can mentor you and I feel that dominants who do so, are merely out to stroke their own egos.

Either way, the question is serious. What do you gain from an online protector that can not be done better by someone in real life?

_____________________________

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong
about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly
taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."
-George Bernard Shaw

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/23/2004 11:54:44 PM

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Either way, the question is serious. What do you gain from an online protector that can not be done better by someone in real life?

That is probably the point. They don't want R/L, so having an online protector makes more sense.

(in reply to Nagatzhul)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/24/2004 12:01:01 AM

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline

That is pretty much my initial assessment as well. Especially with a few of the little hate mails I have gotten from one of the doms in question.

I am actually thinking the subs are made up by the "dom" himself. That makes more sense than anything else at this point.

_____________________________

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong
about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly
taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."
-George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to Estring)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/24/2004 12:17:08 PM

IservBlkKingPaPa

Posts: 84
Joined: 8/17/2004
From: Long Island NY
Status: offline

well does advice from somebody you are close to online count as a form of protection??

this slave has never been an online slave. It all seems to be a very murky position to be in with so many differences. Online subs/slave dom/masters seem to make thier own set of rules. But hey whatever floats your boat.

@}PaPa's}slave}--
Every Rose has her Thorns...

(in reply to Nagatzhul)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/24/2004 7:08:06 PM

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/21/2004
Status: offline

I find there to be a substantial difference between offering information and acting as someone's protector. I can not protect someone in real life if we do not live in proximity to each other. I can offer offer advice no matter where I am.

_____________________________

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong
about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly
taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."
-George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to IservBlkKingPaPa)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/24/2004 7:49:23 PM

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

"protected" status is very often little more than an exercise in roleplaying, but I know several dominants who have "knight in shining armor" complexes, who will offer their protection to a submissive that is being hounded by HNGs and similar trolls. In my opinion, it has no effect on the HNGs (then again, I'm uncertain if tactical thermonuclear weapons would have an effect on a die-hard HNG), but it seems to make both sub and dom feel better. I have also known one person (IRL, mind you) who would claim to be a person's "protector" as a prelude to "owner", so that they could ease into their relationship and take their time with all of the vanilla-side courtship rituals. Obviously, this was a person who had a stronger preference to D/S relationships over some other aspects of the scene, but it seemed to work for him.

< Message edited by Suleiman -- 10/24/2004 7:50:37 PM >

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to Nagatzhul)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/24/2004 8:36:03 PM

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

Being protected is just one more phase of the cyber world of velcro collars. As I tell any woman online who complains about those who attack you,,, if you are incapable of shutting off the screen you are more serious problems than worrying about who is going to *protect* you...

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to Suleiman)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/24/2004 8:57:03 PM

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I have to say here I've never even thought of people saying they had protectors at all. Come to think of it I have heard it over the year's a lot.
When I hear the word "protector" I automatically think of a mentor.

For me a mentor could be online. I've never been anyones mentor online that I didn't know in person. I think it could happen.
Although if only considering the protector word I have to agree with all of you. They would be useless if only online.

(in reply to Nagatzhul)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/24/2004 11:19:42 PM

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Sweden, living in Holland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EStrict

Being protected is just one more phase of the cyber world of velcro collars. As I tell any woman online who complains about those who attack you,,, if you are incapable of shutting off the screen you are more serious problems than worrying about who is going to *protect* you...

I think that so many people online have lost their grip of reality and are just to scared for being in the lifestyle in RL. Some say its because they life to far away from the scene, and there are so many excuses about this, but if you want something bad enough you will get it to work I think.
Another thought of mine is that "protectors" that subs/slaves have online is very often just an excuse. A name they can use to ward off Doms/Masters who are getting to close for their likings and HNGs... (I know I have sometimes used a very good friends name online for this purpose.)
But I agree with most here, protection is no good if its not RL and reasonably close by...

Natalee

_____________________________

Every light casts a shadow. Some men choose to stand in the light; others, in the darkness. Be ye always aware that where you stand is a matter of choice, and let not the shadow creep over you unawares...
~The secret book of Cadwallon the Druid

(in reply to EStrict)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/25/2004 12:14:17 AM

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

You're right.. all an online protector is.. online role play. I'm active in Yahoo chat as well as here. I see "under protection of:" all the time. It is silly, but it does fill a need for these online only subs. They get to feel someone cares about them. They get to be important. A lot of the online only subs I run into are either married or introverts who are too shy to actually get out there and partake in real life. They love the romantic idea of a knight in shining armor. Since it is a fantasy environment for most of them, it works out fine. The main problem I see with it is the false ideas of what real time dominance is all about.

I once "crossed" one of the women with an online "protector." (I refuse to do the whole capital letter thing.) The HNG tried to hack my computer because his little chippie was upset that I'd not cap names of people in a room who had no claim to dominance other than giving themselves a title. (Ok, I admit I'm lazy and capping when typing fast is a pain in the butt...) He was frightened off when I c.c.ed him the letter I was sending his service provider with the hits from his computer trying to get through my firewall. He didn't realize that the ISP would show up. Not only a HNG, but a stupid HNG. *sighs*

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Suleiman)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/25/2004 1:54:17 AM

Posts: 117
Joined: 8/9/2004
From: GATINEAU, PQ
Status: offline

I have to agree that on line protection is just not real, not even close and many use it as an excuse for discovering what this whole thing is about. I met a very young slave (her title), who is mesmerized by some on line master, she cant meet anyone, cant play on line with anyone else, must journal everyday, and even has all her conversations archived to him. This to me is very unhealthy, for a young presumably healthy person with real needs, its like cultish.

_____________________________

Wetrope

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/25/2004 2:02:55 AM

Posts: 1127
Joined: 9/9/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

I once "crossed" one of the women with an online "protector." (I refuse to do the whole capital letter thing.)

My dear, I continually refuse to make use of the online tradition of capitalization (or lack thereof). I have found, as I have spent more and more time online, that my writing style has become more and more prosaically purple, until now I sometimes need to keep a thesaurus handy just to make my point. Purely a reactionary effort on my part, as the need for such simpleminded conventions disappeared with the advent of unlimited internet access a decade ago.

It is very attractive, to be, or to have, a knight in shining armor, and the old world values of chivalry (and the chatelaine attitudes toward women) make an easy translation for those interested in dominance and submission.

Frankly, I find the phrase "protector" or "protected by" to be of immense value in this regard, inasmuch as it tells me what this person is looking for. I can appreciate it, although I do not tend to indulge in it myself, and I do like having some basis for communication with these souls, rather than having (for instance) some person with a laudable amount of experience in the scene (but only online by means of chat and similar circumstances) telling me what is or is not correct behavior for a real-world dominant or submissive.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with roleplay, so long as it is kept in mind that it is, indeed roleplay. I think most of our social interaction with others, whether online or in real life, is a form of roleplay. The word "persona" means mask, after all. Most of the time, we wear social masks based on what we do and whom we interact with. We do this in our relationships as well, even the vanilla folk do, and we of the BDSM community most assuredly choose roles to play, as top or bottom, submissive or dominant. Some actors seek to enhance their range, and so call themselves switches, but it is still, on some level, a form of roleplay.

Thus, the trick is, in my opinion, to know what game is being played. Any little thing that helps me to understand the unspoken rules of the person with whom I am communicating is therefore a boon to me. I may not play by their rules, but it still helps me to understand them to know what rules they are using.

_____________________________

Think of my verbosity as a sort of litmus test for our relationship. I write in a manner identical to how I speak and how I think. If you can not cope with what I have written here, it is probably for the best if we go our separate ways.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/25/2004 3:01:02 AM

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wetrope
This to me is very unhealthy, for a young presumably healthy person with real needs, its like cultish.

Is it just me.. or has anyone else noticed it seems to be the "in thing" with young people to be associated with BDSM. By young I mean late teens to early 20s. Anyone have any thoughts as to whether this is a "fad" or a result of the Internet and other media making people aware of the life style earlier?

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to wetrope)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/25/2004 9:08:48 AM

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Though they may deny it, young people are the least nonconformist. It wouldn't surprise me at all that their interest in BDSM would stem from it being "cool" these days. There are a few exceptions I'm sure that actually get into it on a deeper level.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/25/2004 6:59:09 PM

Posts: 103
Joined: 10/9/2004
Status: offline

I always thought a 'protector' was the box one wears when playing rugby; or a gangster armed with a machine gun to whom one pays protection money.

I don't cyber and I don't chat, so have not heard of this before.

So I'll stick to my own advice: 'don't knock it until after you've tried it'.

Regards

_____________________________

Chris Green

Matron, sister or nurse wanted,
to administer discipline to unruly patient.

(in reply to Nagatzhul)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 7:28:50 AM

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

quote:

Not only a HNG, but a stupid HNG. *sighs*

I'm sorry, but isn't the phrase 'stupid HNG' kinda redundant? or is it just me?

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to BeachMystress)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 11:29:53 AM

Posts: 111
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

I have watched this thread with interest, waiting for someone to defend an online protector. Apparently, no one else will....so i will.

I had an online protective Dom. Let me explain. My husband was ill and dying. Husband told me to find someone to give me those things he no longer could give to me. He was, as was proper for his condition, centered upon himself. I could do little to ease him. He was a proud man and very stubborn. He had always been the strong one. He always made the decisions in the household. It was difficult for him to have me get him food and something to drink because these things he could not do for himself. There is a difference between accepting service from another, and needing service from another.

I was not looking for an online Dom....but became friends with one. This man took me under his wing, gave me much needed advice, let me rant and rave when i needed to do so. He kept me sane. H was my protector...in the best sense of the word.

Afterward, when i had a better grip on my life, when husband was gone, this Dom went out of my life. I owe him much. Yes, it was just online. Yes, online is fantasy. Yet, it is what was needed at the time. I will always be grateful for his protection, his care, his concern. Perhaps he did not physically protect me...but he offered the mental protection that was so needed at the time.

Both my protector and husband are now gone from my life. Both left their own mark upon my life. When the time is right, i will again be real life for only real can fully satisfy. Until then, i too have become centered upon myself. This is the first time in my life i have been totally and completely alone. It does take some getting used to.

Please, i ask that you do not make judgements on others until you know the others' circumstances. All may not be black and white.

(in reply to Nagatzhul)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 11:35:36 AM

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Thanatosian

quote:

Not only a HNG, but a stupid HNG. *sighs*

I'm sorry, but isn't the phrase 'stupid HNG' kinda redundant? or is it just me?

You may not be able to retain rational thought when horny, but I do expect some men can. I find there to be a vast difference between a HNG and a stupid HNG.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Thanatosian)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 11:49:02 AM

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

This question comes from genuine interest and no judgmental inference should be applied.

I appreciate your situation with your husband and I understand your need to be able to relate and have some kind of contact with another human. I see you achieving necessary distraction from your situation by conversing and on-line interplay. I believe you had such a relationship. My question is, from what did he protect you?

We have been asked often to follow someone, both Doms and subs, to a first time meeting. We've accompanied couples and individuals to their first 'club' or lifestyle party experience, and the sense of protection and security is tangible. Can you help me understand and relate this to your experience?

Thank you, we wish you well, and also want to express our condolences.

(in reply to peppermint379)

RE: "Protected" by someone not in RL? - 10/26/2004 11:49:05 AM

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

There is no question that your online relationship/friendship was beneficial to you. Let me ask you a question. Did either of you label him as your protector? While he did what seems to be a wonderful job of providing support and helping you through a very hard time (hugs on your loss) I suspect you both refered to him as a friend or close friend.

What I got from the original question was not about the type of relationship you seem to have had. I took it to be a question applied to the realm of people who do Velcro collars and play out online chat room dramas.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to peppermint379)

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> "Protected" by someone not in RL?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.055