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Wheldrake -> RE: Is the allure that a person is sadistic, or sadistic toward you? (1/15/2012 12:29:53 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AAkasha
When you consider how erotic/exciting/arousing a sadistic, dominant woman is to you, is the fact that she's sadistic -- or, for example, "She gets turned on by trampling," or "She is very aroused by spanking," or "She gets hot when she inflicts cbt" - is THIS arousing to you?
Or, is it that she simply enjoys doing these things to YOU. And, truth be told, she probably wouldn't want to do it otherwise?
Well, for me the attraction isn't really geared to specific activities, or to sexual arousal, so it's not so much "she gets hot when she inflicts cbt" as "she likes hurting people". And if she also likes controlling, degrading, restraining, confining and terrifying them, and subjecting them to discomforts and deprivations, so much the better.
With that said, though, I'd prefer the sadism to be a very basic part of her personality as opposed to something that only I brought out in her. This is actually a bit of an issue in my life at the moment - my girlfriend doesn't seem to have much interest in torturing anyone but me, which I perceive as one of the nagging little problems in a relationship that's terrific in lots of other ways. I'm well past the stage of worrying that she's consciously pandering to my desires, but I do think that she enjoys sadism mostly because of how I, specifically, respond to it. This makes the whole thing seem a bit shallow and inauthentic, and also limits her horizons. Especially considering that we're long distance and don't see each other all that often, she could have a lot of fun and explore a lot of possibilities by taking a flogger to other people now and then. And I'd eventually benefit, in a thoroughly painful and squeal-inducing sort of way, from the skill and experience she would no doubt acquire in the process. I suppose it might happen someday.
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