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Age matters? - 1/4/2012 7:48:37 PM

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Ok i am 18 yes that is young i know, but when i am looking for a Mistress most of them say i am to young.
Yes, i like older women so i am looking for that tipe of Mistress.

But to the Mistress out there is age that really inprotant to you or just they dont like me and want to be nice about it.

RE: Age matters? - 1/4/2012 8:18:05 PM

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What is "older" to you? Me, I don't even think of someone that I could have given birth to. Is older 25, or 40?

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RE: Age matters? - 1/4/2012 8:23:56 PM

MistressDarkArt

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It could be your position in life that is the sticking point for mature women. Most of us value reliability, fiscal/career stability, life experience and companionship. It's no reflection on you as a person but at 18 you just haven't been on the planet long enough for most of these things to settle in.

So...what's a young man to do? Make yourself useful! Offer to help. Maybe there's something technical you could do like tune up her computer. Maybe she needs a young, strong back: you could help her with her yard, move something heavy for her, or organize her garage.

Learn to serve for the sake of serving. It will make you feel good, and there will come a time...in time...when a mature woman will observe the sweat on your naked back as you mow her lawn and decide it's time to invite you in for a cool drink...

Good luck!

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RE: Age matters? - 1/4/2012 8:38:02 PM

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Side note to the OP

Spell check is your friend. If you cannot type a simple sentence what is one to think?

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RE: Age matters? - 1/4/2012 8:57:58 PM

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Yes, age does matter. Most lifestyle Dommes are looking for a relationship. It might be very difficult for a 45 year old Domme to take you to dinner at her Mom and Dad's house and introduce you as her boy friend. Also, her children who might be older than you might consider their mom crazy to be dating someone your age.

I do understand that you consider an older woman sexy. However, no matter how much you are attracted to an older woman, she just might not be able and willing to put up with all the hassles you would bring to her life.

So sorry, Charlie, but a relationship is not just about sex. It is about compatability as a couple.

< Message edited by peppermint -- 1/4/2012 8:58:47 PM >

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RE: Age matters? - 1/4/2012 9:30:42 PM

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When i first started on here I was having problems with me being too young too.. and i was 18/19 around that age.. it sucked, but you got to talk to people in a reasonable age too and you got to find that right Kinky person that is going to love your age and that is going to enjoy who you are.

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RE: Age matters? - 1/4/2012 9:48:15 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

Yes, age does matter. Most lifestyle Dommes are looking for a relationship. It might be very difficult for a 45 year old Domme to take you to dinner at her Mom and Dad's house and introduce you as her boy friend. Also, her children who might be older than you might consider their mom crazy to be dating someone your age.

I do understand that you consider an older woman sexy. However, no matter how much you are attracted to an older woman, she just might not be able and willing to put up with all the hassles you would bring to her life.

So sorry, Charlie, but a relationship is not just about sex. It is about compatability as a couple.

I can fully agree with what Peppermint is saying and I see the logic in it. However I think even using this as a general rule, you can still find the individual basis where it will work regardless.
I am just 4 years older than my subs eldest daughter, I have met all his childeren and his ex wife (who also has a younger man) and his mother, and we all get on amicably.
Maturity is more important than age as far as compatibility goes, in my experience. It's also about how well you click personality wise as people.
If it doesn't work out it is very likely to be for the reason Peppermint has stated but there are success stories out there so ther's really no reason to just give up because of a few failures. Just remember it's not about sex like Peppermint says, its about compatibility.

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RE: Age matters? - 1/4/2012 10:05:05 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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Youngwrestler,

To me age is, well, important. I've got kids who are 33 and 31 and I would not even consider someone the age of my own kids or younger because that just seems.....icky....and I don't want to have to explain to my family why I'm with someone younger than my kids.

NBMG

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RE: Age matters? - 1/4/2012 11:22:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl

Youngwrestler,

To me age is, well, important. I've got kids who are 33 and 31 and I would not even consider someone the age of my own kids or younger because that just seems.....icky....and I don't want to have to explain to my family why I'm with someone younger than my kids.

NBMG

I feel the same way, under early 20s is too close to my sons age. Just wont work in an intimate relationship. Possibly as a service sub, assuming the individual has some skills useful to me.. but iffy.

::bleaahhhh the thought makes me feel dirtier than even *I* like to get:::

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 1:05:54 AM

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Hello, YW.

I just perved your profile and have a couple suggestions.

1/ Rewrite.
2/ Use spellcheck.

That seemed rougher than I mean it to be. You seem like a good guy to me. I don't mean to talk you down or talk down to you. But your profile could use polish. It is what you use to introduce yourself.

I suggest the 12/5 and 1/3 journal entries might not be that fortunate. Fortunately, you can edit them to say anything at all, even something completely different. You might consider it. I suggest the left hand column does not need all those (beginner) labels, we get it, because you said that in the right hand column. I would suggest that "Friends Only" and "Online Romance" Might seem to mean you don't want to actually meet. I suggest your introductory message could be reworked also. Start by capitalizing I . Next strike out everything that should go : Fakes. She has got to be a woman. Anything else you can live without. Then rearrange things a bit and add the missing pieces.

as in :

Hi! I'm so-n-so (no last name for net safety reasons) and I go to school at such-n-such. The things I like best about school are A, B, &C. I don't much care for the D. I also work, doing what this is (do not name employer). This is, of course, only the job I have right now. In the future I see myself doing (What?) In my spare time I have been doing (what?). What I really like to do in my spare time is (What?) Hit the return key, twice.

I got an account on Collarme because for the past few years I have been very interested in the kind of stuff that gets talked about here. I am hoping to meet someone who shares my interests and would like to have (are you looking for a relationship or a quickie?). I am attracted to women a bit older than I am, but I am flexible about that.

It seems to me that you should leave out the reference to the ladys' preferred race. Asian and White is the most common. And some Black, Native American, Arabian, Indian, Persian, etcetera, women are so attractive that you might be thrilled to have dinner with her. And if she likes the same stuff you do... that's a good thing. Discussion of your proclivities should be placed either in the left hand column or in a journal entry, preferably, the first, oldest, last to be read journal entry. Generally, women want to hear less about that than men think. They are more interested in you as a person, believe if you will.

On top of the above, I have a packet of homework that might help you out.

http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/41_success.html
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_60/66b_success.html
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_100/117_success.html
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1717756
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057095/tm.htm
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057123/tm.htm
http://the1585.com/performativemasculinity.htm
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8325689/the-meeting?page=1
http://gayglobeus.powweb.com/barbarella.html

Now, I think, and I will probably hear about it if I am wrong, that this is the sort of help that assists a man showing who he is. That is the intention. If I have given insult, that would be entirely unintentional.

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 9:19:47 AM

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OP...I feel like we keep trying to help you, and you do nothing to help yourself. You say "I want xyz and I'm not getting xyz" so we say, oh hey, maybe this would help. You ignore/don't come back to the thread, and post again, asking another Q as to why you aren't getting what you want.
Dude. C'mon.

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 9:23:43 AM

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I'd just like to agree that a lot of the older ladies on here will already have children who are the same age or older than you and wouldn't be comfortable being with someone that age. Also, because of your age you are more than likely going to want children at some point yourself, so a lot of ladies who want a long term relationship will have to rule someone of your age out, unfortunately.
You might say that you don't want children at this point, but I firmly believe that men can get broody as well as women, and you can only be sure about not wanting children when you're at least thirty. I could be wrong, of course, but that has been my experience.
You may come across as very mature in your outlook, but I feel that you will have better luck looking for someone who is under thirty, as you may get downhearted if you feel you want someone who is a lot older.
I am presuming you mean you're looking for an older lady for a relationship, by the way. If that's not the case, and you're just looking for play partners, then you might be able to find an older lady interested, so I hope you find what you're looking for, either way.

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 9:27:05 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngwrestler

i am 18 yes that is young i know, but when i am looking for a Mistress most of them say i am to young.
Yes, i like older women so i am looking for that tipe of Mistress.

Have you tried the zoo? I think you'll find what you're looking for in the "cougar" section.

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 9:29:49 AM

LillyoftheVally

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Some people will have age requirements some won't. I have found that age is only a problem with people who do not know me, but I have also found that it depends on how you act. You will appeal to the people who you appeal to, that may or may not be influenced by age. As people have said there can be real world issues at work, with introducing you to people in their life etc.

Also agree about the profile rewrite. This isn't an age thing its a reality thing, making your profile interesting and funny will get far more hits than generic stuff, the journal with the name and shame needs to come out straight away.

Talk about who you are.

And now to my most common piece of advice go out and meet people, there you will find they get to know you, and you will not have an age counter above your head, then its down to you to be appealing.

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 12:57:36 PM

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Hmm... well if you look at the Maledom scene (at least from what I've seen) it seems to be the norm for young female subs to want older male doms. Is Femdom completely different? Am I comparing apples to oranges here? I am reminded of the kinky Halestorm song...
"I need someone young willing and able
You need someone old enough to know better"

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 1:00:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: youngwrestler
when i am looking for a Mistress most of them say i am too young.
is age that really important to you or just they dont like me and want to be nice about it.

I would probably just take the reason you're given, and move on. Find somebody to whom your age isn't a problem, or even better yet, find somebody who actively is into younger guys like yourself.
If possible, I'd work on your grammar and spelling a little bit, get a spellchecker (Firefox has one built in), and/or take a bit more care in your online communication. If this post is any indication, you may be being rejected on the basis that it doesn't seem you're able to carry on a conversation via the internet.

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 1:07:05 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: hangemhigh1953

Hmm... well if you look at the Maledom scene (at least from what I've seen) it seems to be the norm for young female subs to want older male doms. Is Femdom completely different? Am I comparing apples to oranges here? I am reminded of the kinky Halestorm song...
"I need someone young willing and able
You need someone old enough to know better"

This dichotomy is common in the vanilla world, too.

Have you notice that there's a LOT of daddy doms out there, but not a whole lot of mommys? Men don't get the big chance to be nurturing that we women do--actually we are EXPECTED to be that way, even when we're not. Women get to raise kids, teach, babysit, do all that taking care of the younger set that most men don't.

It's fun and glamourous to be the kind and all knowing leader of the pack--and so very very unlike the real life experience of most women who have or had the joy of raising children or mentoring the young.

I have several friends who love young men--I call one of them the Virgin Hunter

--and hats off to them. I am not Mrs Robinson anymore. These days I am not not into showing the young and fresh the ways of our taboo world. I am also not interested in teaching someone the things that their parents should have taught them. I want someone who's already got a really solid idea of what he wants and needs, and is past the learning phase.

That doesnt mean that I hate the young people, Auntie Hib will always be the person that makes the introductions and chases the wolves away with her icy glare. I'm just not taking any of them home to MY mom.

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 1:41:02 PM

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Or men do not care about the mental and emotional maturity of their S.O.s as much as women do...............

Orrrrrrrrrr........are women more mature at a much younger age than men.....hmmmmm???

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 1:43:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Or men do not care about the mental and emotional maturity of their S.O.s as much as women do...............

Orrrrrrrrrr........are women more mature at a much younger age than men.....hmmmmm???

Isnt that pretty much a given, LaT?

Though it might not be the case in the culture of entitlement, I don't see much difference in genders & maturity among the younger set anymore.

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RE: Age matters? - 1/5/2012 2:57:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Or men do not care about the mental and emotional maturity of their S.O.s as much as women do...............

Orrrrrrrrrr........are women more mature at a much younger age than men.....hmmmmm???

That's one way to think of it. But another few thoughts...

Does it depend if we are talking about romantic/possible longterm/deep friendship? If so, yeah, some significant age difference might cause some challenges. Just depends on the maturity of both people.

If we are talking about "play relationhip" or "casual BDSM relationship" or "kinky friends" with no eye to long term romance, sign me up for the young, hot, naive and inexperienced eye candy. If we aren't sitting around debating world issues, career challenges and taste in music or pop culture, it's really more about chemistry, attraction and a man's ability to really make an effort to be "mature" in the way he approaches BDSM, even if in his own time he's as immature as expected with his peers. And I don't mean "immature" in a condescending way, I mean just youthful.

If I have an 18 year old play partner and he acts like a typical 18 year old around me, yeah, that's a problem. But he can also be "not a typical 18 year old" as he's uniquely mature and sophisticated, OR, he is eager enough to pay attention, be mature, and LISTEN to INSTRUCTIONS. If the problem with youth is a lack of refine or maturity, my bet is a serious 18 year old who wants to learn about BDSM and likes older women - if there's good chemistry and he's on his game, he'll act plenty mature enough around her OR be honest about improving but most of all LISTEN for instruction and obey.

If he flakes on a first meet up and calls to say he was out partying with his buddies and played too much beer pong and goes into a long, "t/m/i" story about hi college hijinx and then asks when they can reschedule, then yeah, he's probably not going to impress an older woman. If he's punctual, clean, polite, attentive and most of all eager - a woman is more likely to overlook his green-ness, his naivety and other hurdles associated with youth.

I LOVE younger guys. When I was 31 I married a 21 year old, roughly. So now I'm in my 40s, and yeah, guys in their early 20s are starting to seem REALLY young to me. The hockey players at charity events that used to hit on me now call me "Ma'am," because they keep getting younger and I keep getting older. I don't necessarily "like" the "cougar" label, but it is what it is; if I just want a bdsm encounter, I still find something refreshing and charming about a nervous 20something, so long as he is on his best behavior.

Akasha

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