Don't call me "Mistress," call me "Chief."

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Don't call me "Mistress," call me "Chief... - 1/9/2012 10:35:03 AM

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Thinking about honorifics a bit -- I am curious what other subs have been "forced" to call their femdoms, or honorifics femdoms have required. I have a love/hate relationship with the term "Mistress." In personal life I don't find much use for it, if any. Like any fetish however, if I know it pushes buttons, I utilize it like any other tool. Personally, I find the use of my own name, when appropriate, to be plenty enough.

For the subs that are really using the term "Mistress" all the time, I wonder if they'd get the same effect if they were "forced" to use an honorific like "Chief," or "Boss," or "Sarge," for example. Or is the term "Mistress" so influenced and established thanks to porn that it's seared right into the brain of the men who use it -- so much so that the word forming on their lips and hearing it out loud is what is turning their crank, rather than the idea that it's a term demanded by the woman in charge.

In my experience, I simply gave up fighting it about seven years ago. For the men who use "Mistress" already, I got sick of having them fumble over it, "Yes, Miss - I mean Akasha I mean Ma'am," and regardless at the heat of the moment a "Mistress!" would slip and it would be more of a distraction for both of us that it became easier to just let him go with what's hardwired anyway. It was a battle I lost and finally just said it wasn't worth it. And because it has an effect on the man, the drawbacks are outweighed a bit by the benefits -- depending on the person.

I'm kind of growing fond of term "Chief," though! haha!

Akasha

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 10:37:23 AM

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Ha! My grandfather called my grandmother "boss"!

I hate being called Mistress, I really do. Some of my friends are Madam, and that's okay, but I am happier with Lady and Ma'am.

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 10:40:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Ha! My grandfather called my grandmother "boss"!

I hate being called Mistress, I really do. Some of my friends are Madam, and that's okay, but I am happier with Lady and Ma'am.

It could be said that Lady, Ma'am, and Madam are also sort of expected feminine honorifics; I guess what I am getting at is what would be the impact - positive or negative - on a male sub's psyche, if his femdom "demanded" he permanently address her with something ambiguous, decidedly un feminine and un erotic, or even masculine. Like "sarge" or "boss" or how about "mister"? If it's for her pleasure and not his, would he like it, just as he likes to address his fantasy femdom as "Mistress"?

What if she wanted to be called "pencil"? Or a made up word, which had absolutely no other connotation?

Akasha

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 10:56:26 AM

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Hmm... for me personally, the term Chief refers to a CPO and I would rather keep that honorific in my military life. I wouldn't care what my dominant would want me to call her, as long as it doesn't interfere with military titles.

"Sarge" might be a tough one for anybody, because characters that are called "sarge" in movies always turn out to be assholes

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 11:29:30 AM

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I don't like the term Mistress. I'm nobody's mistress, so why should I be called that? I like Ma'am or M'Lady. My boy made up Mastress, and he calls me that a lot of the time.

I don't really have a preference, as long as it's not mistress. Forcing someone to call me something silly like 'pencil' just seems like rules for rules sake; not my thing.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 2:18:54 PM

MSubEdinburgh29

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The term 'mistress' is so stereotypical, and as the OP states, is nearly always used in dominatrix-based porn (or so I hear

).

As for alternatives, I don't know... it depends on the relationship, and ultimately what the lady wishes to be addressed as!

So anything really, but then would you use a silly name if you were taking it seriously? Would it not undermine your authority in some way?

Personally, after watching the Starz series production of Spartacus, I must say I do like the sound of 'Domina'

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 2:34:10 PM

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I don't care for mistress or many other things some seem to like being addressed by. Until someone knows me and I tell them to call me something... they ought to call me Lockit, MsLockit or by my name.

There are times when what my partner calls me is important and he will know well when those times are. I will either tell him when they will be... he will learn my expressions or when we are having a very serious discussion about certain things he needs to be paying attention to. I will often say... this is serious... give him my key words that he knows well and when I say them... he automatically goes into yes Ms mode. Yet, each man has been a bit different and we have different names, languages, etc.

I have often been called boss by many men that were not mine or in a relationship with me. lol They would introduce me as the boss lady. I loved it. We often had a few laughs over it, but they were simply recognizing either my position or the position I wanted them to take.

I do think that porn... web sites... certain people have promoted the mistress thing to death. Many speak it by automation and there is nothing worse than being clumped up with the fantasy, the nightmare... the rest of us all. I also think it really trips a lot of men up for a number of reasons, but when you call them on it and explain why... they are a little freaked, but most tend to fall into things better, sighing in relief and being amazed that you were sometimes brutally honest with them. I will sometimes let it go... but not often. I don't like it and don't want it. If they matter to me... it better matter to them.

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 7:44:43 PM

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I absolutely HATE calling someone Mistress or Master..I'm not particularly fond of Princess or Queen either....but I obligingly will call her whatever she asks.

I prefer to use Madam, Madame, Ma'am, or Miss. *such Miss. Jane, Miss Elizabeth, etc. (or Sir or Mr.)

Chief feels too close to real life for me, as does any military rank....I have called one Dom "coach" at his request. (it did feel a bit odd to me) I think the worst one (for me) was: Her Royal Majesty or Her Royal Highness. I'm sorry. I just couldn't say it with a straight face--and you can cane me all night long, but I'm still going to say it with a smirk. It just sounds silly to me.

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 7:56:49 PM

MistressDarkArt

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I like 'Pencil'.

Or 'Pillow'. <keeps thinking of that SouthPark episode: 'now say 'pillow'. Now say 'horsef*ckah'.

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 8:34:57 PM

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I use Ma'am. Way more often than I should. It often goes unappreciated. It is a bad habit from military days long enough ago to stop being excused. I may have a vague idea what is meant by objections to the word, Mistress. And it is an interesting thing to hear said, that 'many men' can't seem to stop using it.

I wonder how folks feel about the word, Goddess. With or without the prefix.

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 8:42:12 PM

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People have been calling me ma'am since I was about twelve. I like it fine. Courtesy is good.

Goddess, hatey hate.

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 8:56:37 PM

MistressDarkArt

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+1 for hatey-hate goddess. I certainly don't deify myself, my partner needn't either.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 9:14:47 PM

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Thinking about honorifics a bit -- I am curious what other subs have been "forced" to call their femdoms, or honorifics femdoms have required. I have a love/hate relationship with the term "Mistress." In personal life I don't find much use for it, if any. Like any fetish however, if I know it pushes buttons, I utilize it like any other tool. Personally, I find the use of my own name, when appropriate, to be plenty enough.

For the subs that are really using the term "Mistress" all the time, I wonder if they'd get the same effect if they were "forced" to use an honorific like "Chief," or "Boss," or "Sarge," for example. Or is the term "Mistress" so influenced and established thanks to porn that it's seared right into the brain of the men who use it -- so much so that the word forming on their lips and hearing it out loud is what is turning their crank, rather than the idea that it's a term demanded by the woman in charge.

In my experience, I simply gave up fighting it about seven years ago. For the men who use "Mistress" already, I got sick of having them fumble over it, "Yes, Miss - I mean Akasha I mean Ma'am," and regardless at the heat of the moment a "Mistress!" would slip and it would be more of a distraction for both of us that it became easier to just let him go with what's hardwired anyway. It was a battle I lost and finally just said it wasn't worth it. And because it has an effect on the man, the drawbacks are outweighed a bit by the benefits -- depending on the person.

I'm kind of growing fond of term "Chief," though! haha!

Akasha

I can't even imagine calling a woman (omme or otherwise) "Chief".

(in reply to AAkasha)

RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 9:18:16 PM

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How about if she was wearing a fireman hat?

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 9:34:04 PM

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I loved to be called Ma'am by men.

Otherwise, I do have a certain name I prefer being called within a relationship.
And it has nothing to do with "Queen," "Goddess," "Princess," " the Almighty Short One in High Heels," or anything remotely close.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 9:35:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Clickofheels

I loved to be called Ma'am by men.

Move to the South and you'll hear it every day.

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 9:50:28 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

How about if she was wearing a fireman hat?

Nekkid?

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 9:51:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Clickofheels

I loved to be called Ma'am by men.

That calms me.

Unbelievably so.

(in reply to Clickofheels)

RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 9:53:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

How about if she was wearing a fireman hat?

Nekkid?

Hat, and boots. Those Hermes latex ones. Nothing else.

This is not my first rodeo.

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RE: Don't call me "Mistress," call me "C... - 1/9/2012 10:06:31 PM

DragonLadysFire

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The fastest way to get me to not want to talk to you is by calling me goddess... I am one for using Chief (tribal not military) or Drake. I will accept M'Lady or Lord but in general I base mine off of historic honorifics.

< Message edited by DragonLadysFire -- 1/9/2012 10:10:45 PM >

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