RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... *eye roll*

RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... *eye roll* (Full Version)

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ThunderRoad -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 2:03:04 PM)
One of my frustrations is that I hate to come off as an insensitive jerk in a first email. Face it, it's a cold-call. I keep it simple and to the point without being too rediculous. Tell them what in their profile attracted me (an interest they listed or a passage of text, or even that they are in the area), give a brief overview of what I'm looking for, and leave them with an invitation to contact me back and go from there. I'm not going to open with "BOW BEFORE ME BITCH!" because that's just not me. I ultimately want a partner, not a doormat. Besides, I'd like to think that kind of an opening line doesn't work. Of course 9 times out of 10, I never even get a "sorry, not interested" response from them. Yet their profile gets updated over time with new text lamenting about the lack of "nice" guys out there who aren't just some player and how it would be nice to get an email from somebody capable of having an intelligent conversation and treating them like a human being. sigh Damned if you do; damned if you don't.

sophia37 -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 2:11:57 PM)
What suprises me is that the intial poster here seems so suprised. Look. Collarme is playtime to most people. And here you've got a buncha women saying they submit to men. My bet is, theres a lot of men who come in here, who are gonna give this one a try! And why the heck not? BUT. They are just guys. They are not anything different. They're not some men with a masters degree in Domanance. They would just love to have a woman they can boss around in the kitchen and the bedroom. Wow. Talk about a mans dream. I guess I got here too late to read the mans email to the poster who said what he was looking for, but from what I read that remained after editing, it didnt seem like anything to get so excited over. It actually seemed pretty upfront to me. Be real about the real world ladies. Look at it from a guys viewpoint. Guys are seldom Masters of communication, much less Masters. These guys think you might like things a bit different. So they better come up with something, anything, to see if thats what your interested in. How do they know what you want? And dont say its in the profile. They think they're giving you a compliment by sending dick pics or lame brained emails. They are trying to set themselves apart! How many men out there will tell you that when they talk to you like the nice guy they really are, that you will slam the door in their face. So cut the guys some slack please. Youre posting on a kink site for crying out loud! And women have the upper hand. Be kind. Be genrous. Have a sense of humor. Otherwise youre more at fault than they are. It feels like youre letting your ego get in the way of your decency.

RavenMuse -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 2:12:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul Sometimes too its cause of filters that are set up to catch people that might be out of an age range or out of the area someone is looking in... things like that. I know I have missed a few e-mails from people that have written really good ones, because my filters snagged them, so sometimes its not an intentional oversight.... but it happens... Yep, that I understand, though if they had those preffrences stated in the profile I would have already spotted that fly in the compatability ointment and not written... However, whilst irritating at times, as I said, no reply is as much a "not compatable" answer as a polite "Thanks but no thanks".

Reflectivesoul -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 2:18:02 PM)
Thunder, Your profile looks ok to me... I dont know why you'd get passed up if you write decent e-mails to someone from the get go... but like I was saying to Raven sometimes people get stuck in the filters and that may be some of the problems you are having... Since I started talking with people on the other side there are I think 3 that havent replied in some form or other. I think one of them I am sitting in his filter box because he e-mailed me first and I have seen him post on the threads and such since, but he hasnt even opened the reply letter I sent back to him shrugs who knows... Other times there are issues where mail doesnt reach its destination, I have had that problem a few times as well. Fair warning though if you write a long e-mail to someone else always copy paste it into your word pad because it might not go through ( watch to see if you get a photo upload failed message in red at the top of your screen... this usually means the e-mail did NOT go through...) To fix that problem you just copy paste your original letter back into the reply and click send.... To double check any mail that you question if it went out right or not check your sent mail folder... look for the letter if its there then it should ahve gone through... if not then it probably didnt... ~RS~

Reflectivesoul -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 2:21:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sophia37 What suprises me is that the intial poster here seems so suprised. Look. Collarme is playtime to most people. And here you've got a buncha women saying they submit to men. My bet is, theres a lot of men who come in here, who are gonna give this one a try! And why the heck not? BUT. They are just guys. They are not anything different. They're not some men with a masters degree in Domanance. They would just love to have a woman they can boss around in the kitchen and the bedroom. Wow. Talk about a mans dream. I guess I got here too late to read the mans email to the poster who said what he was looking for, but from what I read that remained after editing, it didnt seem like anything to get so excited over. It actually seemed pretty upfront to me. Be real about the real world ladies. Look at it from a guys viewpoint. Guys are seldom Masters of communication, much less Masters. These guys think you might like things a bit different. So they better come up with something, anything, to see if thats what your interested in. How do they know what you want? And dont say its in the profile. They think they're giving you a compliment by sending dick pics or lame brained emails. They are trying to set themselves apart! How many men out there will tell you that when they talk to you like the nice guy they really are, that you will slam the door in their face. So cut the guys some slack please. Youre posting on a kink site for crying out loud! And women have the upper hand. Be kind. Be genrous. Have a sense of humor. Otherwise youre more at fault than they are. It feels like youre letting your ego get in the way of your decency. Actually it was started as a joke.... because of all of the poor me posts about why people dont get replies... and the post that was removed by the moderators was one of the trolls being an ass.... if you dont know what was moderated and taken out dont pass oppinions about the people starting a thread, as you said in your post : quote: It feels like youre letting your ego get in the way of your decency.

Reflectivesoul -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 2:23:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse quote: ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul Sometimes too its cause of filters that are set up to catch people that might be out of an age range or out of the area someone is looking in... things like that. I know I have missed a few e-mails from people that have written really good ones, because my filters snagged them, so sometimes its not an intentional oversight.... but it happens... Yep, that I understand, though if they had those preffrences stated in the profile I would have already spotted that fly in the compatability ointment and not written... However, whilst irritating at times, as I said, no reply is as much a "not compatable" answer as a polite "Thanks but no thanks". You know something else Raven, I cant hardly believe that you would have troubles getting girls to reply, especially if they have read your posts here in the forums.... maybe they just need a good kick in the seat of their pants chuckles

ThunderRoad -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 2:40:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul Your profile looks ok to me... I dont know why you'd get passed up if you write decent e-mails to someone from the get go... but like I was saying to Raven sometimes people get stuck in the filters and that may be some of the problems you are having... Well, I see they get read, so it's not email filters causing a problem, just never a reply of any kind. Kinda frustrating and makes it hard not to become cynical. shrug In the end, even though this is a Kink site full of Doms, we are all just guys and we know nothing more about you than we'd just like to have a conversation and see what happens.

Reflectivesoul -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 2:55:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ThunderRoad quote: ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul Your profile looks ok to me... I dont know why you'd get passed up if you write decent e-mails to someone from the get go... but like I was saying to Raven sometimes people get stuck in the filters and that may be some of the problems you are having... Well, I see they get read, so it's not email filters causing a problem, just never a reply of any kind. Kinda frustrating and makes it hard not to become cynical. shrug In the end, even though this is a Kink site full of Doms, we are all just guys and we know nothing more about you than we'd just like to have a conversation and see what happens. well some of the advise I give to anyone looking or seeking, post in the forums, its one of the easiest ways to put yourself in front of other people, ask questions and talk back and forth with everyone.... who knows you may inspire someone to contact you. You're newer around here too... I know thats usually a curiosity thing with me when I get mail from newbies... are they just someone with a new profile? is it someone thats actually new and wanting to learn? Is it someone professing to be something they arent.... Again the best way to answer all of that is to check and see if they have posted in the forum and what they have or havent said...

Bearlee -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 2:57:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ladyseekinglord I received one the other day that just said "are you on?" Sometimes I like to play with them, and simply replied "yes." That was the end of that conversation. lady oh oh oh...how 'bout the one that says only 'hi'. <shakes head> Yup, sometimes I just reply 'yes' to the ones like you did...or simply 'hi', right back. Sometimes their stupid profiles are deleated before I can even send the reply, though; so again, what IS the point??? LMAO

Reflectivesoul -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 2:59:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bearlee quote: ORIGINAL: ladyseekinglord I received one the other day that just said "are you on?" Sometimes I like to play with them, and simply replied "yes." That was the end of that conversation. lady oh oh oh...how 'bout the one that says only 'hi'. <shakes head> Yup, sometimes I just reply 'yes' to the ones like you did...or simply 'hi', right back. Sometimes their stupid profiles are deleated before I can even send the reply, though; so again, what IS the point??? LMAO LOL LOL LOL there are a few people that I have replied to about their stupid e-mails and now no longer have profiles... gee I wonder what caused that??? lol Never seems to fail though, they think if they make a new id and come back that they'll get it right this time... [sm=ofcourse.gif]

genvieve -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 3:25:56 PM)
What cracks me up is when i see names that i like to affectionately refer to as Lord Darkey Dark Dark Darkness from the Darkest Realm of Darksville Why is that? i wonder...as a people, do we submissives come off as needing a dark man rather than a light one? Goodness, that sounds fairly racial. -shuts up now-[sm=banghead.gif]

Sunshine119 -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 3:33:30 PM)
The one's I love best are the: "I read your profile and we have lots in common. Contact me." The first time, I am usually very polite and let them know that I am already in a long term, live-in relationship and thank them for their interest. The second, third, fourth and successive times I get the same one liner, I just laugh. They don't even keep track of who has already rejected them. Or maybe they don't really care? Must be those narcissistic doms....lol

Emperor1956 -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 3:53:57 PM)
A few random thoughts, and one not so random: quote: Pissdoll: i'm glad i am not a guy :) OH SO ARE WE (grunt, snort, piggy noises) __________________ To MissTress: Yes, I can imagine the reams of emails you get telling you that you really are a submissive, and you only think through your heart and years of experience you are a Domme. Lets face it, My gender is unfortunately usually clueless (more on that, later). By the way, Dom or sub, if the position of "do me boy" opens up, please write GRIN _______________________ quote: lisa1978 said: I really do not feel sorry for the men on here, many of them nice and sincere, who mass mail just to get any woman to write them back positvely. I feel sorry for the men who only contact women who they feel are good matches and rarely get a response back whether positive or negative. The problem is, believe it or not, on some level the "mass mailing" works. As you said, it sounds nice and sincere, it doesn't push any negative buttons, and quite often it is hard to tell that it was mailed to his 537 "unique" submissive candidates. This approach works with resumes, and car wash coupons, too. I do think your comment about getting no reply is true. Back when I was searching actively, it would be a bit hurtful when someone who on "her" face appeared to be geographically, tempermentally and submissively compatible never even said "I'm sorry, I'm taken/not interested". But we do get tired, and we can't all spend our lives on here...like ReflectiveSoul grin. And reflective, sweetie, don't feel bad. You've been Mod'ded by the best! _________________ The one not so random thought: OsideGirl said quote: was offended and told him the apology at the end was a cop out that he's using as excuse to be rude. I'm complete stranger for f*k's sake! You SHOULD be offended. That message was rude. But the sad truth that all this chuckling about emails ma mask is that not only are men who sign up on CM often clueless...a significant number of the male posters on here seem to really hate women. There is a sad confusion that the submissive (usually, on CM, female) is not only sub, but is contemptible, worthless, etc. When I scan some of the posts that attempt to justify the "bow down to Me" concept of submission, or "explain" Male Superiority or are supposed humor, it makes Me a bit ill, because there is such hatred underlying the message. Fortunately I don't think these people will hook up with someone...but I pity her if they do. (NB: I have rarely, but occasionally seen the same disgust/hatred of men by some FemDommes. And that just proves that men don't hold the monopoly on cluelessness.) E. (oh wait....per Genevieve's post, make that "LORD LIGHT EMPEROR OF THE SUNSHINE REALM!" -- better, miss? grin*)

Reflectivesoul -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 4:23:08 PM)
yeah yeah yeah I know I have way too much down time sometimes.... this week is going sooo slow....unfortunately this was not a holiday that boosted sales for me so I'm kinda stuck twiddlin my thumbs... but atleast when I'm twiddlin away most people get a good laugh [8D] E....

juliaoceania -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 5:29:11 PM)
in the interest of saying something positive... for those guys reading this and wondering what women want in an opening email, well start by making a comment about what is in someone's profile... goes a lot further than "Get on your knees bitch".. well that is just me, etc

CreativeDominant -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 6:16:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: genvieve What cracks me up is when i see names that i like to affectionately refer to as Lord Darkey Dark Dark Darkness from the Darkest Realm of Darksville Why is that? i wonder...as a people, do we submissives come off as needing a dark man rather than a light one? Goodness, that sounds fairly racial. -shuts up now-[sm=banghead.gif] ~long, reflective sigh~ I can see that the Head Puba, in His infinite kindness and wisdom, must enlighten another... My child, the art and the science and indeed, yea verily, the very life we indulge in is dark. e.g. Hot and wild and forceful sex acts = dark Reveling in pain = dark Reveling in humiliation = dark Reveling in serving/being served = dark Therefore, when a brother dominant, kind enough to deign to give you His time by writing to you, identifies Himself in such a glorious manner as you describe above...why, he is being even more benevolent by identifying to you the level of his skills and proficiency at this wonderfully dark magic that those of us in the dark share the dark wisdom of. I hope that I, Head Puba, have now made this abundantly clear. P.S. Can we cyber now? [sm=flowers.gif] What makes you wet? [:)] You've got me soooooooooo hard....[sm=banana.gif]

TopDominant -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 6:24:13 PM)
This subject is is funny. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've sent a perfectly polite, perfectly succinct well crafted message to an apparantly available girl whos profile matches My interests, only to have her reply (that is when they DO reply) with "Whassup?" or some ignorant bull shit. Put some effort into it girls, you'd be surprised how far that will go towards getting your Man and solving the problem.

zumala -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 6:57:08 PM)
<rant> I think it's a very good thing that I've never received one of those 'on your knees bitch' mails. I doubt I could restrain my fingers in time to avoid sending a return mail with the message 'go suck your own cock, asshole'. I don't care if you are the most domly dominant dom in the universe, you had better NOT speak to a perfect stranger in that fashion. It would get you slapped upside the face in real life. </rant> [;)] zuma

Reflectivesoul -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 7:48:59 PM)
lol zuma you tell em!!! lol lol

losttreasure -> RE: The Best E-mail tactics ever.... eye roll (5/31/2006 9:23:01 PM)
To be very fair, I have never received one of those "on your knees, bitch" messages here. On another site, yes. Here on CollarMe, I have received more than a few odd and presumptive comments, and many one liners. And yes, I did actually receive an intial message promising to train me to sexually service a dog. shakes head But, on the whole, though perhaps not completely eloquent or gramatically perfect, a good portion of the messages I've received have been friendly and straight forward. Form letters, a lot of them, but nice nonetheless.

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