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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/14/2012 2:04:00 PM

seekerofslut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ninebelowzero

KK I've been chatting or trying to chat women up for nigh on 40 years & I still don't have a fucking clue how that one works.

What male does?

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/14/2012 2:15:56 PM

Ninebelowzero

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Wise words, wise words indeed.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/14/2012 2:51:29 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY
An interesting observation I made a long time ago is that people aren't really looking for a profile of someone or something they want: they read a profile in order to find something to eliminate that person.

If and only when they find a profile that isn't "eliminated" do they start to seriously consider the person.

Kinda of counter-intuitive, but it seems to generally hold true.

Firm

Absolutely. And it's the easiest way to weed through the deluge of mail you can get.

Once you've eliminated all those who aren't going to be compatible, then you spend time considering those who may be.

I understand the op's wish that people shouldn't have to sell themselves. But it's true in real life as well as online. First impressions last forever. If you go to a job interview hungover and unwashed, don't expect a call back to see if you might be able to come up to standards.

I remember an old family friend who my sister met six months before me, she hated him forever after because she met him right after his ex asked for a divorce. He was in his woman hating stage, drinking too much and ranting all the time.

By the time I met him, he was his usual stable self and a very desirable man in every way. We were friends for years as a result.

Why does anyone imagine that what holds true in real life wouldn't also hold true online? Except online you don't get to dress up in your best outfit, make sure you're showered and made up, all you get is a few lines of writing. If you can't be bothered to do your best there, why would we think you would ever do your best? Especially as there have been threads upon threads of how to write a profile and how to write a first email that won't get you eliminated.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/14/2012 5:32:08 PM

DarkSteven

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I'm probably the worst offender at this.

If someone is a good person but isn't marketing themself properly, I feel it's incumbent on us to tell her or (more likely) him to change the technique.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/14/2012 7:22:19 PM

Clickofheels

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Joined: 10/23/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

It is just one more way that allows people to criticize one another...hopefully, being a valid opportunity.

Yanno, if you want to see less criticism, you might want to model that instead of gleefully criticizing the critics.

Gleefully? What's gleeful about it?????
I think what is going on is quite sad.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/14/2012 7:36:00 PM

Clickofheels

Posts: 603
Joined: 10/23/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

The last guy I spoke to about his profile posted :

quote:

i am a professional web designer, and web artist.i also love photography and much more

His profile made it very clear that none of that was true. I told him he "CAN DO A HELL OF A LOT BETTER than that". I invited him to consider his profile from the point of view of the person he wanted to read it. And I gave him the standard introductory package, which happens to still be open on my desktop. Here you go.

http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/41_success.html
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_60/66b_success.html
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful_100/117_success.html
http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1717756
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057095/tm.htm
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3057123/tm.htm
http://the1585.com/performativemasculinity.htm
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8325689/the-meeting?page=1
http://gayglobeus.powweb.com/barbarella.html

I finished by asking why posting "FU Haters, with a smiley", was a good idea.

I was not at all nice. Instead I told him what he did not want to hear. And did not do it in the introduction section.

Now. Am I the guy you are talking about when you say :

quote:

We are literally asking a human being to write a pitch for themselves as a individual and then brutally critiquing it if it lacks the components we think it should, and moreover implying that they don't deserve love or happiness if their blurb isn't punchy enough, and that is just about the saddest thing I've seen all week.

Or did I help that guy out?

Edit to add an "L"

Hey Frosted! (smiles)

There is a HUGE difference between someone ASKING for help in writing a profile, and someone TELLING someone else their profile "isn't acceptable or good enough."

A profile is INDEED a reflection of a person...be it well-written or a catastrophe. You want someone to make a good impression of themselves online? Fine. But if they can't write who they are withought help, how are they going to meet someone face-to-face without help?

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/14/2012 7:41:04 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
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I'm good and deserving, now come worship me.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/14/2012 11:42:44 PM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
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From: Centralia, Washington
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quote:

Lady Click

Hey Frosted! (smiles)

There is a HUGE difference between someone ASKING for help in writing a profile, and someone TELLING someone else their profile "isn't acceptable or good enough."

A profile is INDEED a reflection of a person...be it well-written or a catastrophe. You want someone to make a good impression of themselves online? Fine. But if they can't write who they are withought help, how are they going to meet someone face-to-face without help?

Two good point. Thanks, Lady C.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/15/2012 4:07:28 AM

Ninebelowzero

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So why are you USAins all looking at my profile? What have I done now?

You do realise it's freaky being viewed by male dominants from Idaho or wherever

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/15/2012 4:23:15 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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They want to learn to have teh great romantic profile like yours.

p.s. Do what I do, and NEVER, EVER, EVER peek at who's looking at you or who's admiring you. That can scar you for life.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/15/2012 4:25:06 AM

FrostedFlake

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She's right, but peek. Not knowing can scar you for life.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/15/2012 4:25:26 AM

Ninebelowzero

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PMSL that's good advice thanks Blushy.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/15/2012 4:44:50 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Using fast reply and this is My last one for the night.

You did a better job on this subject than I did, OP. For the first six months that I was here, in the eyes of many, My profile wouldn't have been "good enough".

Had I come here today, rather than five years ago, I wouldn't have had a chance. People would have run Me off (or at least attempted to) because I didn't live up to their expectations. I wasn't here to date. I wasn't looking for anything.

Every time I see what you see, OP, I think about how that could have been Me. That's why I want to give people a fair shake. I mean, I turned out pretty good and all My profile said for the first six months was that I would fill it out when I got the time.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/15/2012 5:37:48 AM

Fornica

Posts: 2986
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Oh my god, I agree.
I've learned that lesson time and time again..yet, my inner profile whore still screams to look.

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

p.s. Do what I do, and NEVER, EVER, EVER peek at who's looking at you or who's admiring you. That can scar you for life.

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RE: "Good" "deserving" profiles - 1/15/2012 6:13:20 AM

stellauk

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I see something similar and I can totally understand the POV expressed by the OP.

What I see is a fair few number of people who want it on a plate with little or no investment on their part.

They're all there with their photos of themselves all nicely photo-shopped, some of the equipment and collection of toys and it's all there in the profile, what they want, what they don't want, and their cookie cutter descriptions of how the relationship is going to be complete with all the buzz words..

Somewhere on my computer I have this Collarme Profile Buzzword Generator which can yield phrases such as attractive professional woman or romantic sensual sadist. Maybe one day when I have time I will finish it and post it. Some of you can no doubt have fun coming up with stuff like experienced assertive submissive.

However some ruin it by shoving their tits, arse or cock in front of the camera.. or (better still) having someone else's tits, arse or cock in the picture..

These are often profiles that have been on the site for donkey's years.

Do you fit the criteria? You better hope so or you will be kicked to the kerb instantly.

Too much emphasis is made on first impressions and not enough I feel on taking the time and effort to make a proper emotional investment in long term relationships and this might be the reason why some people don't find anyone.

There's a lot of really good people out there who I feel would make brilliant partners if only someone would ask a few more questions, make a bit more effort and give a few more chances.

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