why do some slaves feel the need to talk back

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why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 5:31:03 AM

huntingwolf

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I am sitting here asking myself why some subs and slaves always feel the need to talk back when ordered to do the smallest task ?? or they feel the need to fight while being taken ??

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 5:37:03 AM

kalikshama

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You haven't established dominance.

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 5:38:06 AM

DarkSteven

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Perhaps they don't think that they have a relationship with you? Until you have a D/s relationship with them, not only do they have no obligation to obey you, but it is rude of you to expect that.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 5:49:34 AM

Fornica

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Talk back how?
Fight when being "taken"? Expand, please.

quote:

ORIGINAL: huntingwolf

I am sitting here asking myself why some subs and slaves always feel the need to talk back when ordered to do the smallest task ?? or they feel the need to fight while being taken ??

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 6:07:23 AM

huntingwolf

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okay i chose the wrong wording i ment was when playing some of the subs i have played with seem to feel the need to fight or talk back at the wrong times forcing me to be harsh with them

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 6:15:18 AM

ProlificNeeds

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Some subs (and D's) enjoy challange or conflict during certain times/scene's, some don't. If their efforts to provoke you are unattractive tell them so.

You take them by the back of the neck, pin them chest to the wall, and politely tell them in a threatening (but sexy) voice, that if they continue to piss you off, they'll get tossed out instead of fucked.
It also helps if you follow up with instruction on the behavior you DO want.

If they fail to listen, end the entertainment time and let them know in no uncertain terms their behavior is not acceptable to you.

I've come across a large number of partners who are inexperiened in BDSM and figure they have to 'provoke' to gain my interest or hold it, I never understood why, it's just how some people operate. There's probably a freudian explination for such behaviors, I have no idea what it is.

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 6:39:06 AM

huntingwolf

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what i find is when i am harsh with a slave or sub and truly show my power over them everytime we play sooner then later i get shall I say bored with them or i turn up the heat to the point i brake them which i find can be fun at times but at other times it seems to me to be pointless therefor boring as hell to me .

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 6:56:22 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: huntingwolf

what i find is when i am harsh with a slave or sub and truly show my power over them everytime we play sooner then later i get shall I say bored with them or i turn up the heat to the point i brake them which i find can be fun at times but at other times it seems to me to be pointless therefor boring as hell to me .

Why? If you know what relationship you want and you get it, why does it matter to you how you got there? And why on earth would you push them past their breaking point? No safewords? No pre-scene negotiations?

I gotta ask - is this in-person or online?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 6:56:37 AM

HisPet21

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quote:

hat i find is when i am harsh with a slave or sub and truly show my power over them everytime we play sooner then later i get shall I say bored with them or i turn up the heat to the point i brake them which i find can be fun at times but at other times it seems to me to be pointless therefor boring as hell to me

What does that MEAN? Where is the punctuation? I don't understand.

That being said, OP, there could be plenty of reasons why the subs you play with "talk back." For some people, it is just part of the fun. I personally enjoy conflict play, in which I try to escape or have to be "forced" to obey. It'd get boring and annoying for the both of us if we played this way all the time, but on occasion? It's some roaring good fun! Maybe the subs you are playing with don't understand that you are not into that kind of play. You should probably establish that this is the case in pre-play negotiations.

Also, I get the impression that your play partners aren't long term, but one-time/two-time stints. If that is the case, you probably don't understand them very well, psychologically or physically, so what you may perceive as "talking back" may actually be the protests of subs who know themselves better than you do and are trying to convey a problem. It's one thing to tell a long term Master in an M/s context to back off. It's another entirely to be working with a stranger during a one-time play date and have her talk back. While both are reasonable under the right circumstances, in the latter case, more "talking back" is considered acceptable and a means for the sub to protect his/herself.

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 7:03:16 AM

huntingwolf

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I dont play online it is pointless to me . There are safewords it is just sometimes my slaves or sub forget them hmmmmm but think i know why now they talk back at the wrong times thank you for the insights into why

< Message edited by huntingwolf -- 1/26/2012 7:05:38 AM >

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 7:20:19 AM

Asherscorp1

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They "forget" safewords? Do you make them use Greek or Latin or something? Cuz I have to say I don't think I've ever known a sub who would just forget a safeword during play that pushes them to "breaking." It seems like you have trouble asserting your dominance or establishing clear communication then you take it out on the sub when they aren't respectful enough. Maybe you should step back and take a look at your whole style and rethink some behaviors.

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 7:41:51 AM

LillyBoPeep

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I kinda agree with Asherscorp... the way you're describig this, with them "forgetting" safewords and you pushing them to "break," it sounds like you are going overboard because you're mad that they're talking back to you... which... seems sketchy. You need to find more effective ways to commuicate (do you talk the way you're typing here?), and express yourself. Find more effective ways to assert dominance besides beating on people when you're mad, because that really just makes you a bully, if that's your only tool.

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 7:46:07 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: huntingwolf

what i find is when i am harsh with a slave or sub and truly show my power over them everytime we play sooner then later i get shall I say bored with them or i turn up the heat to the point i brake them which i find can be fun at times but at other times it seems to me to be pointless therefor boring as hell to me .

Are these women you're playing with? Or someone you have a relationship with?

I'm thinking it's the former, rather than the latter.

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 7:48:12 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisPet21

Also, I get the impression that your play partners aren't long term, but one-time/two-time stints. If that is the case, you probably don't understand them very well, psychologically or physically, so what you may perceive as "talking back" may actually be the protests of subs who know themselves better than you do and are trying to convey a problem. It's one thing to tell a long term Master in an M/s context to back off. It's another entirely to be working with a stranger during a one-time play date and have her talk back.

I'm thinking this......and this.....

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
You need to find more effective ways to commuicate (do you talk the way you're typing here?), and express yourself. Find more effective ways to assert dominance besides beating on people when you're mad, because that really just makes you a bully, if that's your only tool.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 7:52:44 AM

jennileigh8182

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FR

It probably depends some on the sub in question. For me, I'm a more spirited type, and I gravitate toward doms that enjoy an intelligent, impassioned, assertive, and strong submissive. They know that at times i'll push or test, that i like to tease them and be a little irreverent (and yet respectful) at times. There are a lot of doms that don't like that behavior and see me as horrendously disrespectful because i can't just be sweet and demure and "yes, Master" 100% of the time. It's not me. It'd stifle my personality.

However....I find that it's worse with those that don't have a clear dominance. For partners able to exert a clear dominance (and not in the harsh breaking sort of way), my pushing is pretty playful and low-key, well within their tolerance and appreciation. For partners that don't have clear dominance.....meh. The best way I can explain it is in a dog scenario. In the dog world, there must be a leader. If the "leader" is not capable, someone else will step up to the plate. That's me. If my partner isn't establishing his dominance or leading well, i naturally start asserting myself and taking over, because i know that i'm capable...i just don't really care for being dominant.

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 7:59:46 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: huntingwolf
what i find is when i am harsh with a slave or sub and truly show my power over them

If you have to demonstrate the power, you ain't got it

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 8:11:47 AM

sincelo

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FR

Because they like it or they don't think much of you? Hopefully they are talking and letting others know of their experience of being broken by you and the nonchalant ho hum attitude you seem to have about that.

OR you dont really have any experience and you have observed some behaviour and you thouhgt "Hey that is not right. I am going to ask about that on collarme", which would be totally cool (way more so than the whole "oh i get so tired of breaking these dumb girls who can't remember safewords".) Perhaps their "lippiness" is really them trying to communicate that they want you to get the hell away from them. Given the small amount i know about you, i must honestly say i would say "thanks but no thanks" to an invitation to play with you.

< Message edited by sincelo -- 1/26/2012 8:12:22 AM >

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 8:21:07 AM

DeadLovely

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may i be brutal....have you considered investing your time and mind in them before you start sharing fluids ?
it makes for a lot less misunderstanding

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 8:34:56 AM

Fornica

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Yes. A million times yes.
My Dad used to tell his business associates that if they had to tell their staff that they're the Boss, they aren't much of one ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

quote:

ORIGINAL: huntingwolf
what i find is when i am harsh with a slave or sub and truly show my power over them

If you have to demonstrate the power, you ain't got it

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There is no spoon.

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RE: why do some slaves feel the need to talk back - 1/26/2012 9:08:29 AM

huntingwolf

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if you have never been driven to the point you forget things like safewords and or your name then you never have reached the point of true release but that is just my point of view in this matter .There are times when i am playing when i will sit back and just watch as my slave or sub does all the work .True power is knowing you can brake anyone you choice at anytime you choice to and knowing your slave or sub feels that power in you now that is pricelss in my book .and all of the slaves i have played with know full well I do have that power and i only choice to use it when i see fit to do so .

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