PeonForHer
Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MissToYouRedux
quote:
ORIGINAL: SaharahEve
All Mistresses are different, too.
Exactly. Which is why subs or slaves (the terminology to me is immaterial) advocating that a dominant emulate *anybody* seem to me self-serving. lol
** edited for grammar ;)
Gawd, yes. I shiver at the thought of any femdom trying to emulate another. There's power and power and power. But there are also people and people and people. Any BDSM relationship involves different personalities as well as different ideas of power exchange and enjoyment arising therefrom.
But there's another thing. I think Roch gets the nub of it, for me, when he says:
"When I said that more Dommes should emulate Ms. Eve, it was because She espouses a form of M/s that establishes a clear power imbalance. It is not about romance or money. It is not about finding a husband (not that there is anything wrong with that). She espouses pure slavery. And She believes that if one is Her Slave, then their money is a part of that slavery. And She never wavers from Her stance. She could have far more slaves if She lowered her standards and simply took money slaves. But She doesn't. She has a specific vision of Her particular brand of M/s, and She never wavers from it. Moreover, it involves true power exchange, and not just currency exchange."
OK, I get that. For what it's worth, I think that what SE does she does very well indeed. I've no doubt that things work happily for both herself and the people she's involved with in her own brand of D/s activities.
There are quite a number of reasons why an arrangement between a dom in which payments exchange hands, and myself, couldn't work.
I say 'couldn't work' deliberately: 'God knows', I've so often thought, 'If only it could. You cough up some money, go home afterwards, no strings . . .' But, no, it isn't me.
A lot of those aforementioned reasons go to (frequently quite volcanic) arguments that have been done to death on these boards and I can't be bothered to pursue them all again now.
What I will say, though, is that my image of a relationship - however brief and fleeting (and, yes, I've had some of those) - with a femdom depends an awful lot for its enjoyment on contrasts. I get off on the idea of a woman who can jump from 'ordinary' to 'Goddess' and back again. She has to be able to pass the 'tickle test' - because, at some point soon after the hypothetical femdom and I have met, I literally will tickle her. She will occasionally cry, get bad period pains and complain about wrinkles and getting fat. I don't want her ever to give up anything of herself for the sake of maintaining power because, for me, that would only ever be a bogus sort of power . For me, that implies a cold, cold world. As her 'slave', it'd be a frozen world for me, too.
This is not to imply that nothing short of a full-blown romance and the ensuing LTR will do for me, though. Were that to be the case, I could never even have a wank. (And by Crackey, I certainly do enjoy those hearty wanks, as I've frequently said.) But with a real, live woman, I do need to see certain attributes in her for me to *feel* that she's being a real, live woman, with me. Otherwise I'll see all sorts of things that will depress me. I get depressed at the thought of a woman who feels that she just must teeter on stilettos even when her feet are hurting, or when she wears too few clothes for the cold weather, or when she can't have me seeing her in the morning before she's slapped on make up. With femdoms, I find all such traits that much more depressing because, for me, it looks like they're in effect being dominated by the 'trappings of dominance' and I imagine their insides to be slowly dying as a result. I had such bleakness in my life once, I never want to see it again, in anybody. It makes me shudder to see even the hint of it. Moreover, it feels like a travesty of both dominance, as well as relationships of any kind.
It really does, I think, boil down to what 'feels like the real thing' for each of us. This is my reality; others are welcome to their own. But I do have to say, and without meaning any offence to SE whatsoever, that I never, ever want any femdom with whom I get together even for some whip 'n' flog fun at a BDSM venue, to follow the road that SE has taken. I'm afraid I don't like what I suspect to be at the end of that road, and for a femdom to compare herself to SE would be to start along it.
.
< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 3/2/2012 8:05:18 PM >
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