Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...?

Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (Full Version)

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Calandra -> Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 3:58:34 AM)
I wanted to ask for everyone's opinion... Do you think it is ethical to post email addresses, pictures, instant messenger ID's, and/or private correspondence to a popular vanilla website where "anyone" could run across it? I realize that even here "anyone" could run across it, but they'd have to have a reason for coming here first (curiosity, kinky needs of their own, checking up on a spouse if there's already suspicion)... On a vanilla website a person could easily find these posts, maybe recognize a picture, and then boom, that person is outed. Please explain why you answer the way that you do...

Quivver -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:25:06 AM)
No I do not feel it is ethical, but then again if you look around you'll find people with no ethics crying loud to be heard.

irishbynature -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:27:19 AM)
Excellent question to pose. I never imagined anyone would use the CM site for "Vanilla" purposes, whatever they may be. Actually, I would hope they did not do so, but in the world of the Internet, people are capable of doing anything. Is it ethical? In my opinion, no. The reason is that (I feel from my perspective) that some persons here believe their D/s or BDSM activities are private, regardless of their status at home or work, etc. To me, it as a safe haven to express my interest in D/s and only the business of others who share the same ideals. I also feel that those who come to CM are seeking something specific and "some" in the Vanilla world would not understand that perhaps? If a person who is Vanilla comes here to learn and understand more, they do it for a specific reason. Furthermore, if one is exposed...let's say by pictures to someone who they work, it could open a "can of worms" in respect to their private lives. This is just my opinion. Respectfully, [;)] Irish

MstrssPassion -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:27:59 AM)
Outing anyone should be considered unethical regardless as to where one is outed.

angelface183 -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:28:09 AM)
Personally, I do not think that people should post ANY personal information/photos about anyone ELSE without their express permission on any site, this one included.

Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:38:43 AM)
using fast reply... Okay then is there any reason that you can think of, where posting information would be okay? This has been done recently and I'm wondering if MY response to it is wrong... I don't think so, but I'm willing to consider it.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:38:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion Outing anyone should be considered unethical regardless as to where one is outed. Why? Why should people live their lives ashamed of who they are and what they do? There is a lot of anger in the gay community that so many homosexuals are in the closet. They feel that if everyone was "out" life would be much easier on them. I am not so sure they are wrong. Taggard

Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:43:14 AM)
You may be correct, however our civil liberties are there to assure that we get to make those choices for ourselves, not have someone arbitrarily out us... I live completely out, and encourage so many to do the same... but even my girl needs (yes, needs) to remain in the closet for a few more years until her daughter is older and cannot be whisked away by an ex. In my opinion, you make choices for you, I make choices for me.

Dustyn -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:43:28 AM)
Guess I'm the lone dog here in thinking that it's up tot he person doing the action to decide if it's 'ethical' or not. Personally, I see nothing wrong with it, mainly because if someone wants to, they can try to do the same with me. Then again, I don't keep secrets, as long as someone asks me a direct question. I might not answer it in a symposium or what not like that, but I will always answer the question.

kisshou -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:45:06 AM)
Being out-ted would be the least of my worries. There is identity theft, stalking, harrasment etc You stated private correspondence also, depending upon what is in that, it could be quite dangerous to have that information made public. This is not just unethical but criminal. Our local law enforcement agency has a huge cyber crimes division, hopefully yours does also, I would suggest you contact them for some information.

Aileen68 -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:45:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty Why? Why should people live their lives ashamed of who they are and what they do? Taggard Many many people here can't be outed for personal reasons...job, family, friends. And many feel that their own personal, private life choices are just that...private.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:51:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 Many many people here can't be outed for personal reasons...job, family, friends. And many feel that their own personal, private life choices are just that...private. I would never personally out anyone, but I can understand the sentiment of those who feel that if more people were out, then the world would have to accept that this as a viable lifestyle choice and people wouldn't have to hide who they are from the job, family and friends. And, the last time I looked, CollarMe wasn't a private website. If you post anything on here, be prepared for people to find it. Taggard

WhiteRadiance -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:52:52 AM)
I think it depends on the circumstances, and the reasons behind WHY someone was outed. My first reaction to this question is.. NO it is not ethical to out someone. On the other hand, is it ethical for a married man or woman to hook up or attempt to hook up without their spouse's knowledge? Sometimes people get what they have coming. If you don't want everyone to know your secrets, it is best to be discrete.

ChainedExistence -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:53:53 AM)
Because maybe someone just wishes to be more private? I don't care to know the intimate details of everyone's sex lives (just my best friends where we can brag or complain at length to an interested party!)and that's no matter their orientation. If I want to share, that should be my right, and I should share only to those people that I choose to share to. I see nothing wrong with a little privacy about intimate matters if that's what the person chooses for themselves. Personally I have NO desire to know about the sex life of my pastor, my physician, my elementary school teachers, or even the guy who's waiting on me in a resturant! Having a distance from people's private lives is partly what helps them function in a professional manner. Now maybe I might wonder about them...but wondering is graciously plenty!

Calandra -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:55:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty And, the last time I looked, CollarMe wasn't a private website. If you post anything on here, be prepared for people to find it. I think sharing personal email correspondence even here is wrong. Posting it to a vanilla site is worse. Flaming and making snide remarks about those emails is even worse. When you add to that pics, email addresses that contain full names and such, yes, I think it borders on criminal.

TallDarkAndWitty -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 4:58:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Calandra You may be correct, however our civil liberties are there to assure that we get to make those choices for ourselves, not have someone arbitrarily out us... Our civil liberties are to protect us from an overreaching government, not the acts of individuals. quote: In my opinion, you make choices for you, I make choices for me. If you put information about yourself in a place where others can find it, be prepared for those others to make that information public. If you can't have your lifestyle discovered, don't tell anyone... Taggard

irishbynature -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:00:50 AM)
quote: I would never personally out anyone, but I can understand the sentiment of those who feel that if more people were out, then the world would have to accept that this as a viable lifestyle choice and people wouldn't have to hide who they are from the job, family and friends. Taggard. I guess for you that's ok..but some are in positions that "out-ting" them would cause some damage because unfortunately, many live in a world of people that cannot open their minds enough to realize that D/s is normal and not some nutzo ideal. Be considerate of others who are NOT in your situation. .

gooddogbenji -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:01:44 AM)
Is it ethical? Depends on your definition of ethics and your world view. Is it ethical to steal? No. We still protect ourselves from it by using locks and not announcing our millions of dollars stashed in a safe behind the ugliest picture in the house. Which kinda explains my motto - Anything I don't want publicised, I don't publish online. I don't have pics on here, I don't have my full name, I don't have any one bit of info that would reveal who I am to anyone. Granted, if my family were to read my profile and all of my posts, they could piece it together, at least in part, but not if they just stumbled on here by accident. Remember, kids, this is a public site, and the risk of outing yourself directly or indirectly is around. Yours, benji

ExistentialSteel -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:01:49 AM)
For those who don’t want to be outed to the the world, I’ll give you an example of what can happen if you are too trusting. I live in a medium sized city with a political discussion board run by the local newspaper. There is an obnoxious radio talk show host who debates there with me and others. Some of the posters give out their real names in the course of posting and also have their email addresses posted using their posting screenname. Remember this is a news/political board with no apparent harm doing that. Apparently one of the posters is gay (actually, I’m not sure what it is because I didn’t bother to find out) and has posted on gay websites using his email address. This asshole radio guy Googles the poster’s email name and finds out he posts on those type sites. He goes on the air and announces to the audience that the poster using that name also posts on “perverted message boards.” He goes on an on about the character of the individual and wonders if his fellow workers know about him. Remember this man’s real name is already known from the newspaper board. Soooooo be careful.

angelface183 -> RE: Outing Collarme members on vanilla websites...? (6/3/2006 5:03:16 AM)
quote: I think sharing personal email correspondence even here is wrong. Posting it to a vanilla site is worse. Flaming and making snide remarks about those emails is even worse. When you add to that pics, email addresses that contain full names and such, yes, I think it borders on criminal. ooooh I think I know whom you are referring to and I do not like what she has done either....those men may have been "rude" to her (completely subjective) but that does not give her the right to post the emails that they sent her nor their email/im address and photos! In my opinion, she is by far ruder than any of the men who "disparraged" her.

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