Vaneilla Relationships

Vaneilla Relationships (Full Version)

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Wildfirefly -> Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 10:23:04 PM)
What to do when I'm a newer sub and my boyfriend I just met who I totally adore is very vanella. I need to be submissive. How do I survie without cheating

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 10:24:28 PM)
dump the New boyfriend who you just met... and find a dominant partner...

LoreBook -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 10:33:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance dump the New boyfriend who you just met... and find a dominant partner... You could do that, or you could behave in a sane and rational manner and try talking to him about your desires first. The preceding statement represents the views and opinions of the author and the author alone, and should in no way be considered an attempt by the author to define or determine anything for anybody but herself.

littlewonder -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 10:37:37 PM)
You tell him and see what he says.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 10:41:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LoreBook quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance dump the New boyfriend who you just met... and find a dominant partner... You could do that, or you could behave in a sane and rational manner and try talking to him about your desires first. The preceding statement represents the views and opinions of the author and the author alone, and should in no way be considered an attempt by the author to define or determine anything for anybody but herself. Silly me, i though relationships were built on compatibility... I totally never would have guessed that ya know... you could have one with out it... Gods, I just dont know what the hell id do without your eye opening and beyond insightful thoughts and opinions based in just beyond magical everything... [8\|]

LoreBook -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 10:47:32 PM)
quote: Silly me Indeed.

mynxkat -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 10:49:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance quote: ORIGINAL: LoreBook quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance dump the New boyfriend who you just met... and find a dominant partner... You could do that, or you could behave in a sane and rational manner and try talking to him about your desires first. The preceding statement represents the views and opinions of the author and the author alone, and should in no way be considered an attempt by the author to define or determine anything for anybody but herself. Silly me, i though relationships were built on compatibility... I totally never would have guessed that ya know... you could have one with out it... Gods, I just dont know what the hell id do without your eye opening and beyond insightful thoughts and opinions based in just beyond magical everything... [8\|] Goodness, wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? I think LoreBook has a very valid suggestion. Who knows, the new vanilla boyfriend might turn out to be not so very vanilla after all, but the OP will never know that unless she does something gasp mature and intelligent like.... *gasp talking to him! If it turns out he's very not interested in exploring a BDSM lifestyle, THEN she can part ways with the boyfriend and find someone already into all this fun stuff.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 10:52:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LoreBook quote: Silly me Indeed. Your hard on for me while cute, adorable, and such, is really tiring... Please do, try to contain yourself... Really I mean.... I get I'm Fucking amazing... And stalking me has such the appeal... but gods.... really... Control woman... You do claim to be a dom afterall...

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 10:53:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wildfirefly What to do when I'm a newer sub and my boyfriend I just met who I totally adore is very vanella. I need to be submissive. How do I survie without cheating this is why i say dump the guy who has most likely only been in the picture for 2 weeks and find someone compatible... Gods, explaining myself, and my motivations for every single post... when its so fucking obvious, really tiring...

mynxkat -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 11:10:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance quote: ORIGINAL: Wildfirefly What to do when I'm a newer sub and my boyfriend I just met who I totally adore is very vanella. I need to be submissive. How do I survie without cheating this is why i say dump the guy who has most likely only been in the picture for 2 weeks and find someone compatible... Gods, explaining myself, and my motivations for every single post... when its so fucking obvious, really tiring... Golly, you use that bold and font size so very very well. You STILL missed the whole communication thing. Sure, it's a new relationship. And she's new to the whole idea of our kinky little world. So, your very first piece of advice to her is to simply dump the guy? Without even trying to talk to him about any possible, I dunno, mutual interest in learning about this whole What It Is That We Do thing?

LoreBook -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 11:12:06 PM)
There, there, now. Don't get yourself upset, just take a deep breath. And another. Now where did you put your medication? The preceding statement represents the views and opinions of the author and the author alone, and should in no way be considered an attempt by the author to define or determine anything for anybody but herself.

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 11:23:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mynxkat Golly, you use that bold and font size so very very well. You STILL missed the whole communication thing. Sure, it's a new relationship. And she's new to the whole idea of our kinky little world. So, your very first piece of advice to her is to simply dump the guy? Without even trying to talk to him about any possible, I dunno, mutual interest in learning about this whole What It Is That We Do thing? I kinda skipped the communication idea, when you have a 38 year old woman acting like shes a teenager... Ya know, When ya have been around for a while you tend to get a feel for what some clues are..... The OP is comming here because she lacks so much self control she thinks shes going to cheat on her new partner that she just got with, because she needs to submit..[8\|] Why put the guy through torture and possibly std risk? Sure he might be open to kink, some guys are, some arent... but the Just got with, kinda implies... less then a month, why waste time on something you arent sure of when you know you have needs and your at least kinda maybe possibly believing, this guy who you like, most likely wont be what you need.... When you can cut your losses before too many feelings are attached, and find someone who most likely will be a better fit.. I mean sure shoving a square peg, into a round hole might eventually work... But then the round peg goes in the round hole, with out any effort at all...

BitaTruble -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 11:31:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wildfirefly What to do when I'm a newer sub and my boyfriend I just met who I totally adore is very vanella. I need to be submissive. How do I survie without cheating You just ended a 10 year marriage 5 months ago. I would suggest you just take your time, not even call a guy a 'boyfriend' this soon after your break-up and HAVE SOME FUN before committing yourself to someone else so fast. Get to know who 'you' are without a partner first and then see what floats your boat. You really need to be comfortable in your own skin and if you are wondering how you survive without cheating on a guy that you barely know, my guess is that you really are just going too far too fast. Ask yourself.. "Am I repeating a mistake?" Answer yourself honestly. Don't forget to breath. Good luck.

Boudica -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/11/2012 11:36:08 PM)
It also depends on your definition of cheating. You might be able to get by with just online play.

LoreBook -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/12/2012 12:17:48 AM)
So you skipped over crucial details like the importance of communication in a relationship, you used some sort of clairesentient "feel" to infer all sorts of things not in the OP or the OP's profile, and you assumed the worst possible scenario as a given, and used that house of cards as justification to advise the OP to dump their current SO. I'm detecting a pattern here. The preceding statement represents the views and opinions of the author and the author alone, and should in no way be considered an attempt by the author to define or determine anything for anybody but herself.

kalikshama -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/12/2012 6:34:37 AM)
quote: You just ended a 10 year marriage 5 months ago. I would suggest you just take your time, not even call a guy a 'boyfriend' this soon after your break-up and HAVE SOME FUN before committing yourself to someone else so fast. Ob boy, I'd left my 14 year marriage for 3 years before I was ready to get serious again.

kalikshama -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/12/2012 6:36:57 AM)
quote: dump the New boyfriend who you just met... and find a dominant partner... Agreed. I personally do not explore compatibility outside the bedroom until I've established a basis for compatibility inside the bedroom.

Wildfirefly -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/12/2012 6:43:47 AM)
Ty yes been seperated for 10 months met tast yr dated for a few months. Why I say boyfriend it's hard I went back cause I do like him. I agree leather on my ass is so good. Yes square and he's not round Like I crave. Just hard after you fall for him. I did tell him he doesn't understand about this life style. He did try to spank was ok but this weekend blah in bed. I just wish I didn't have these feeling so strong for him. Ty for all your comments I do value them

LaTigresse -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/12/2012 7:48:01 AM)
You are thinking with your hormones and not your brain. Pay attention to what Bita wrote.

Wildfirefly -> RE: Vaneilla Relationships (3/12/2012 8:06:32 AM)
Thank you this helps

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