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RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 11:36:10 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Soyokaze


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

It wasn't meant to be insulting. It was meant to be realistic. If you're falling for someone with only online interactions, for all you know, you're falling for a horny 16 year old.


You still don't get it and it's rather naive of you to think so. No one here is talking about online interactions.

The post immediately below yours talks about moving in with someone after only having online interactions. And they appear to be very happy, and are getting married.

You appear to be sensitive with respect to this topic, Soyokaze.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Soyokaze)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 12:05:22 PM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

The post immediately below yours talks about moving in with someone after only having online interactions. And they appear to be very happy, and are getting married.

You appear to be sensitive with respect to this topic, Soyokaze.


Below me is a key word there. Up until that point the only person mentioning online was the person saying we should all just stop falling for people over the internet.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 12:30:56 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

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RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 12:59:23 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I think age and experience has a lot to do with this topic.

I believe we lose ourselves and jump quickly when we are younger, some don't know exactly what they need to sustain a long term thing or we are blinded by lust or romantic fantasy and if we jump into the ocean it sweeps us away, but you never feel you will drown, so it is all a big "rush".

On the other hand, after living longer,being crazy in love and experiencing relationships that end badly and now ostensibly knowing yourself very well, some people no longer jump so quickly because they need more things than that first "rush", they look deeper into the people they meet, ask more questions, try to be more discerning and do not jump into the ocean because each time you get hurt, you know if you jump into that ocean again, you may indeed, drown this time.

I don't believe you harden your heart, you just decide to protect it more as time goes on.


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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 2:09:18 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I want heart-hardening skillz.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 3:35:19 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Until you meet them in person they're still a complete stranger.


This is so not true. Maybe to you/in your experience but so not the case for me and others I know.......luci

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 3:39:13 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder


quote:

ORIGINAL: Soyokaze


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I never gave my heart that easily so it never got hurt. I didn't give my heart to someone until I met them in person and we dated and I got to know them and realized we both were in love with another. Until then they were just a person like any other person in the entire world.

Maybe stop giving yourself over so easily and take your time. Until you meet them in person they're still a complete stranger.



Haha, what a piece of work. Relationships go bad in the real world too you know. Assuming we were all so shallow as to fall for people we never met is rather insulting.


It wasn't meant to be insulting. It was meant to be realistic. If you're falling for someone with only online interactions, for all you know, you're falling for a horny 16 year old.

But that's not what you said. You said "until you meet them in person." What if you've spoken with them on the phone? Every day for weeks or months? They're still a "complete stranger?" Nope. And "online interaction" can involve amazing new technology. They have these things nowadays called webcams where people can actually see each other as they converse. Yeah! It's way cool. "Meeting in person" is not a prerequisite to talking and getting to know each other. It may be your choice but it's not the only way.........luci

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 3:44:50 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

I think she's just making a point and a very valid one at that. She can't be responsible for knowing what someone is going to post after her. You said in an earlier post that "Falling for someone online and being disappointed IRL was exactly where I went mentally." That's unfortunate but I don't think it's fair to assume that most other people do that. Before meeting Master, I didn't fall for everyone I chatted with online. Or anyone I chatted with online. He contacted me online and we chatted there and it quickly went to everyday, more than once a day phone calls. That is not just "online interaction" and I fell for him without meeting Him. It was six weeks before we met and the rest is history. Been together 6 years in May and married for 4. We're a success story that others would have dismissed as starting out online only. I'm so glad I wasn't hampered by what others would do or say.........luci

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 3:53:58 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Soyokaze

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

The post immediately below yours talks about moving in with someone after only having online interactions. And they appear to be very happy, and are getting married.

You appear to be sensitive with respect to this topic, Soyokaze.


Below me is a key word there. Up until that point the only person mentioning online was the person saying we should all just stop falling for people over the internet.

That same poster posted both above and below the post of yours I quoted. I never thought you were a troll, but if you don't back off your counterfactual point, I will realize that I was mistaken about my judgment of you.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Soyokaze)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 4:00:42 PM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

That same poster posted both above and below the post of yours I quoted. I never thought you were a troll, but if you don't back off your counterfactual point, I will realize that I was mistaken about my judgment of you.


The same poster below me said nothing about online above me. Who's being counter-factual?

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"When I was a little kid, I wish the first word I ever said was 'quote' so right before I died I could say 'end quote'" -Steven Wright

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 5:07:33 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		FR, I didn't realize anyone was tossing online into the mix. I can abstractly care about someone online but deeply love, no. Moreso love in the, caring about human beings as a general kinda caring, sorta way.

Love in the way I was discussing is reserved for people I actually know in person.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Soyokaze)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 6:02:54 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		sorry but for me, even if you talk to someone online for weeks, months, years....until you meet them in person and you date continually and get to know one another flesh to flesh, you still are complete strangers. If you want to see differently, that's your choice.

For me, even if you've only met each other a couple of times over a couple of weeks in the flesh, imo, you still don't know that person well enough. Like I said, if you feel differently, that's your choice. <shrug>


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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 3/31/2012 6:22:16 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Soyokaze


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

That same poster posted both above and below the post of yours I quoted. I never thought you were a troll, but if you don't back off your counterfactual point, I will realize that I was mistaken about my judgment of you.


The same poster below me said nothing about online above me. Who's being counter-factual?

She said, in the post before your own: "Now, I have a great guy who I rushed into things with, and things are pretty damn good." That was a description of their online-only courtship. You thought she was discussing a real-life encounter. However, she wasn't, and you're unwilling to accept that you made a mistake.

For whatever reason, this topic is preventing you from being able to process concrete data. I will not respond to you again about this.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Soyokaze)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 4/1/2012 10:33:31 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		I don't believe I've ever lost my heart. I'm pretty sure it's right there in my chest where it always was. I don't "lose" things like that, either literally or metaphorically.

I am not afraid of love. I am not afraid of the pain which is caused by love. It's the price of admission and I want to play the game. So I give my heart readily in all sorts of situations. The more successful that love the more painful it is. But I'm a love sort of guy who can handle the bumps and bruises so I don't see it as a problem.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 4/1/2012 12:53:13 PM   
Soyokaze


Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

She said, in the post before your own: "Now, I have a great guy who I rushed into things with, and things are pretty damn good." That was a description of their online-only courtship. You thought she was discussing a real-life encounter. However, she wasn't, and you're unwilling to accept that you made a mistake.

For whatever reason, this topic is preventing you from being able to process concrete data. I will not respond to you again about this.


What does it matter what she was describing. It was sufficient that it was ambiguous. No one could guess from what she wrote that it was online. Hence the no mention of online before me. A poster proceeded to use a blanket statement about everyone before it when no one had implied it in the least even the one person who it could have applied to (however it worked out for her anyway). You're trying really hard to reach for something that isn't there, and it's a bit pathetic.

< Message edited by Soyokaze -- 4/1/2012 1:01:38 PM >

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"When I was a little kid, I wish the first word I ever said was 'quote' so right before I died I could say 'end quote'" -Steven Wright

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 4/1/2012 4:35:53 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline 		To me, the heart that cannot be open to deep pain, cannot fully be open to deep love.

To love deeply, one must be willing accept the risk of deep pain.

(in reply to Soyokaze)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 4/2/2012 2:34:52 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		This is not really intended as 'help'.

To paraphrase the OP, she is choosy, but when she sees what she wants, she asks for it. Often, shes doesn't get it and is disappointed. What to do?

Consider how things would work if the OP saw what she wanted and DIDN'T ask.

That ain't so great, either. Is it? Perhaps the 'problem' is really not one? Perhaps the OP should continue as before and hope things go better. It only has to work out right once to work out right.

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 4/2/2012 2:44:38 AM   
kitkat105


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
Status: offline 		Tricky question.

I think sometimes you can give away your heart too easily. I think it might be a personality thing. Sometimes your heart wants something so bad, you're desperate and fall in love without the feling being reciprocated.

I've had my heart broken once. So badly I honestly never thought I'd be capable of loving again nor did I really want to.

Maybe when I met my Sir I did give into my feelings too quickly but I do not have 1 ounce of regret. After experiencing what I did in my last relationship it has taught me to make the most of all my experiences. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared (terrified) even of heartbreak again, but I know everything will be okay.

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RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 4/2/2012 9:17:23 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I don't give my heart easily. Giving my body is much easier. I can find someone I like/want/need and sharing physical intimacy is a no brainer but getting to an emotional stage, that takes a long time. I have to feel they want me, not just physically. Because I don't get out there to meet people, finding someone I like/want/need does not happen often. Finding someone I trust enough to love has only happened twice for me.
I find I envy people who fall in easily, mostly because when it is over for them they can move on over time. I have watched my niece fall in love and marry 6 times. My sister has been married 3 times and is currently reinvolved with her most recent ex. My other sister has been married 4 times. Me.. just once and I didn't love him I only married him because saying "no" to him was not doable for me at that stage in my life. Since our divorce I have been very wary of anything that looks like it is leading to marriage. And as a result I have only been seriously involved, totally and completely in love with 2 men and I still feel that emotion for both of them even though it has been years, or decades.

So if you do give your heart quickly perhaps that is a good thing. If you do get hurt have you been able to move on over time? For me, getting over it would be a blessing.

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do you lose your heart too easily - 4/2/2012 11:14:33 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		I'm of the opinion that everyone is a complete stranger until you've caught them pooping.

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Profile   Post #: 40
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