RE: My definition of "quiet" power (Full Version)

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JeffBC -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/9/2012 3:47:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
Society therefore sees a lack of bluster and bravado as weakness.

At least from my own life experience I just cannot get behind this statement. I've spent much of my career dressing and doing silly stuff to "keep my sharp pointy fangs well hidden". I've never been the bluster and bravado type... that would've just caused even more problems. And, when I get my hackles up, I'm one of those folks that get's calm and quiet rather than loud and blustery. I bet once I was really onto my stride... say age 30 and beyond, no more than 2 people have seen that as anything other than "incredibly dangerous". I also know when I've seen this in other people and at least in my impression it's rather unmistakable. There's this moment when you can see it clearly in someone else's eyes... "you've crossed a boundary and that boundary WILL be enforced". Only fools go past that line without the intent to take it all the way to the mat one way or the other.

My own opinion is that anyone can swagger and bluster on the internet. But in the real world, actual energy and body language and tone of voice wins virtually all the time. In the real world, we know who's dominant and who's not in any given encounter by who wins... no debates needed. Lately, my armchair philosophizing has gone like this: Humans are, hands down, the most dangerous species on the planet -- by leaps and bounds. It makes sense that we are particularly sensitive to the undercurrents... like... say... "I wonder if that guy is going to rip my throat out?" Given our threat level, that'd be a perfectly reasonable signal to be both sent and received clearly from an evolutionary standpoint. Heh... the less perceptive would be strongly selected against.

And again, I think are referring to social dominance here -- that nebulous "alpha" thing that nobody can define but we all know when it happens. I think sexual dominance could easily go hidden entirely until a sexual moment allowed it to shine through. Most of us are civilized enough to "keep it in our pants" in inappropriate moments.




Karmastic -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/9/2012 4:16:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
Society therefore sees a lack of bluster and bravado as weakness.

At least from my own life experience I just cannot get behind this statement. I've spent much of my career dressing and doing silly stuff to "keep my sharp pointy fangs well hidden". I've never been the bluster and bravado type... that would've just caused even more problems. And, when I get my hackles up, I'm one of those folks that get's calm and quiet rather than loud and blustery. I bet once I was really onto my stride... say age 30 and beyond, no more than 2 people have seen that as anything other than "incredibly dangerous". I also know when I've seen this in other people and at least in my impression it's rather unmistakable. There's this moment when you can see it clearly in someone else's eyes... "you've crossed a boundary and that boundary WILL be enforced". Only fools go past that line without the intent to take it all the way to the mat one way or the other.

My own opinion is that anyone can swagger and bluster on the internet. But in the real world, actual energy and body language and tone of voice wins virtually all the time. In the real world, we know who's dominant and who's not in any given encounter by who wins... no debates needed. Lately, my armchair philosophizing has gone like this: Humans are, hands down, the most dangerous species on the planet -- by leaps and bounds. It makes sense that we are particularly sensitive to the undercurrents... like... say... "I wonder if that guy is going to rip my throat out?" Given our threat level, that'd be a perfectly reasonable signal to be both sent and received clearly from an evolutionary standpoint. Heh... the less perceptive would be strongly selected against.

And again, I think are referring to social dominance here -- that nebulous "alpha" thing that nobody can define but we all know when it happens. I think sexual dominance could easily go hidden entirely until a sexual moment allowed it to shine through. Most of us are civilized enough to "keep it in our pants" in inappropriate moments.


quote:

e I just cannot ge


All very well said (and written), and I agree, as said. Reminds me of walking like you're not a victim - that's quiet power. But if one is confronted, the look in their eyes is just another type of slightly louder body language power that says, hey, you're crossing a boundary.

Me: "Society therefore sees a lack of bluster and bravado as weakness"

I was thinking more along the lines of what peacock gets the prize (poor metaphor, or is that an analogy?). Gaining ground, taking things, intimidating, akin to being successful imperialistic empires, but on a personal level. Bluster and bravado are successful models that nations & insecure people do follow to achieve that, because it works for them. I'm sure they cause a lot of damage on many levels, but that's another thread.




Alecta -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/9/2012 4:26:05 PM)

quote:

I think any sub who heckles you has lost sight of what being a sub is all about.


I don't think that's quite right. Some like their submission to be taken brutally from them and beaten out of them, which is why they challenge and goad their Dom/mes. This doesn't make them lost or less valid subs.

It just makes them that annoying kid in high school who can't understand "I'm not interested" and follow you everywhere until you agree to go out with them when they persist in doing it to Dom/mes they are clearly incompatible with.




JeffBC -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/9/2012 4:32:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
I was thinking more along the lines of what peacock gets the prize (poor metaphor, or is that an analogy?).

Well, I do agree that peacock behavior can be effective.... right up until that moment when the peacock runs into a wolf.

I could point to a few on these boards... DarkSteven for instance. I can't recall a time I've ever seen him do anything "peacocky"... but I'm pretty sure there's a fair sampling of subs on this board that wished they lived local to him. I'm doubting that more than a tiny handful see him as anything like "weak". Flash and dazzle wins right up until the moment it runs into substance.




kalikshama -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/9/2012 5:18:29 PM)

Oh yes, if our geography had aligned I would have been there!




OsideGirl -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/9/2012 5:26:34 PM)

I agree too. If time and geography had aligned Steven would have been on my radar. At the very least, I think we'd be real life friends.




sunshinemiss -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/9/2012 6:20:07 PM)

Sunny
Quote of the Day
goes to
JeffBC

for

Flash and dazzle wins right up until the moment it runs into substance.

[sm=wave.gif]


http://www.collarchat.com/m_4084375/mpage_2/tm.htm




Karmastic -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/9/2012 6:56:39 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

quote:

I think any sub who heckles you has lost sight of what being a sub is all about.


I don't think that's quite right. Some like their submission to be taken brutally from them and beaten out of them, which is why they challenge and goad their Dom/mes. This doesn't make them lost or less valid subs.

It just makes them that annoying kid in high school who can't understand "I'm not interested" and follow you everywhere until you agree to go out with them when they persist in doing it to Dom/mes they are clearly incompatible with.

lol, great perspective! i say slap em' down like a brat. they don't get what they want. but I'm the newb.




Karmastic -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/9/2012 6:58:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
I was thinking more along the lines of what peacock gets the prize (poor metaphor, or is that an analogy?).

Well, I do agree that peacock behavior can be effective.... right up until that moment when the peacock runs into a wolf.

I could point to a few on these boards... DarkSteven for instance. I can't recall a time I've ever seen him do anything "peacocky"... but I'm pretty sure there's a fair sampling of subs on this board that wished they lived local to him. I'm doubting that more than a tiny handful see him as anything like "weak". Flash and dazzle wins right up until the moment it runs into substance.



yep, couldn't agree more. substance wins over form is how i say it.




crazyml -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/10/2012 8:46:56 AM)

Grin. Fair play... I just had this image in my head.

I think you can assume a position of quiet power in a number of ways.

I suppose there are subs out there, though, that are looking for a dom who (for reasons of - mostly - compatibility I suspect) are able to assume a position of quiet power without much of a struggle.

Not that I'm claiming to have this "power" myself, at least not in all cases, but there have been times... you know... that glance across a crowded room....




sunshinemiss -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/10/2012 8:25:21 PM)

quote:



Not that I'm claiming to have this "power" myself, at least not in all cases, but there have been times... you know... that glance across a crowded room....


::THUD::




JeffBC -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/10/2012 11:10:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
Not that I'm claiming to have this "power" myself, at least not in all cases, but there have been times... you know... that glance across a crowded room....

Anyone who claimed to have that power in all cases is on the same list as people who claim they have never lied.




another1harder -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/11/2012 12:02:35 AM)

I love dogs. Little peanut butter and you can




LadyPact -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/11/2012 12:14:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
Not that I'm claiming to have this "power" myself, at least not in all cases, but there have been times... you know... that glance across a crowded room....

Anyone who claimed to have that power in all cases is on the same list as people who claim they have never lied.

Bingo!

That and the "Dude, you bit the dog" comment made this thread worth it.  Not that the original wasn't well written, OP.  It's just that interactive discussion is better.  Like another poster, I would also like to commend you for rescuing the dog and I'm glad you provided her with a home.

Quiet power, huh?  Probably not Me so much.  I'm more the social butterfly type and I know how to work a room.  I don't have to be the prettiest chick there and I don't have to be the person with the most power, but I usually have a place on the chain.  On a good day, I can still sell ice to Eskimos.

It's that social Dominance thing that Jeff was talking about is the area where quiet power applies to Me.  Unlike some D types, I don't compete in that way.  I'm actually fine with other people's authority and in most cases, I don't screw with it. 

Quiet power, to Me, is also in those things that I know I have the power to do, but I don't have to prove it.  Whatever stupid, silly thing that people can come up with on these boards at times about 'would your slave obey you and do X' kind of crap.  Could I make him?  Yes.  Do I need to make him to prove it?  No.  I'd rather have that kind of power.




crazyml -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/11/2012 12:29:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:



Not that I'm claiming to have this "power" myself, at least not in all cases, but there have been times... you know... that glance across a crowded room....


::THUD::



And, obviously there are occasions when you can use your quiet power without realising it. Sigh, it's such a responsibility.

Sorry sunshinemiss, I hope nothing got broken. ;-)




JeffBC -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/11/2012 12:56:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Quiet power, huh?  Probably not Me so much.

ROFL -- Really?

That's really you're line and you're sticking with it? I've met you face to face. How would you possibly come to that conclusion? What I saw was quiet power where it mattered. Not-so-quiet power where it was fun. And sexual power where it was hot.

Was that your twin sister?

edited to add
And yes, I also saw you bend to authority where it was appropriate. But what's that got to do with power? That has more to do with things like "grace" and "respect", no?




sunshinemiss -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/11/2012 2:02:30 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:



Not that I'm claiming to have this "power" myself, at least not in all cases, but there have been times... you know... that glance across a crowded room....


::THUD::



And, obviously there are occasions when you can use your quiet power without realising it. Sigh, it's such a responsibility.

Sorry sunshinemiss, I hope nothing got broken. ;-)



Only my heart darling, only my heart. *sniff*




LadyPact -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/11/2012 2:44:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Quiet power, huh?  Probably not Me so much.

ROFL -- Really?

That's really you're line and you're sticking with it? I've met you face to face. How would you possibly come to that conclusion? What I saw was quiet power where it mattered. Not-so-quiet power where it was fun. And sexual power where it was hot.

Was that your twin sister?

edited to add
And yes, I also saw you bend to authority where it was appropriate. But what's that got to do with power? That has more to do with things like "grace" and "respect", no?


Yep, really My line.

But, that's My way.  I know where My authority lies and yes, it does include grace.  There was time I could whisper, and he would obey.

I am so glad that all of us had the opportunity. 




OsideGirl -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/11/2012 7:10:11 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


Quiet power, huh?  Probably not Me so much.  I'm more the social butterfly type and I know how to work a room. 


I bet you do. It seems to come across here. Master is also a social butterfly and can be friendly with almost anyone. But, his dominance is quiet. He doesn't bellow, rarely yells, but I've watched people defer to him without even realizing why they're doing it.

I'm willing to bet it's the same with you.




LordOdinn -> RE: My definition of "quiet" power (4/11/2012 11:27:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I just love quiet power as it relates to a dominant. My dom is quiet. He's laid back. He does not present as a macho person in any way, b/c he is not. It's over time that you see, wow! This guy is consistently the smartest person in the room. He's also the most emotionally stable person I have ever encountered.

Oh yeah, a quiet, unassuming dom captured my heart some years ago and what can I say? For us it works magic.


She's right in my totally unbiased opinion...oh wait, could she be talking about me!?




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