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RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 5:50:56 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

I don't know, Celeste, I've managed to talk a few people into not responding to me anymore!! Always being very, very polite and courteous.


Well, maybe I'll give it a shot.. but not until my menopause is complete.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 5:55:47 PM   
mgdartist


Posts: 328
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: irving tx
Status: offline 		As a dominant, I'm not here to get respect, and hardly expect it from a stranger, tho she be a submissive or a slave.. It's just that when I get disrespected for no apparent reason, is when i have a little problem.
As far as those of you who complain about what your profile clearly states, as far as you being collared, taken, not looking etc....
First off, those of us who are looking might find it nice to have a search feature which eliminated you from our searches, but then one must wonder how many hits would then be left to them? I often wonder, but know better than to ask why so many "taken" "collared" and "no longer interested" submissives continue maintaining profiles here, knowing what i'll get. Kindly spare me. Were i ever to collar a pretty submissive here, the removal of her profile would be something I'd want to see, as I'd not want her continually badgered, such as you all seem to be. <grin>
Second off, when you are looking...so many profiles admonish so many things, and so few say the simple things you actually wish were there, it sometimes becomes frustrating, and confusing, and the ensueing blurriness might in fact cause one to lose track of...quite a bit.

Could it be so much to ask, since you do keep your profiles up, albeit having found bliss and joy in a mate, to give those of us poor beleaguered sub-searching Doms, who make a simple mistake the benefit of the doubt? After all, though it may be couched in such terms and requests that you no longer wish to deal with, can you not respond even affably to the spirit of flattery it was sent to you in?
No, I thought not.
MGD


_____________________________



(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 6:10:03 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mgdartist

As far as those of you who complain about what your profile clearly states, as far as you being collared, taken, not looking etc....
First off, those of us who are looking might find it nice to have a search feature which eliminated you from our searches, but then one must wonder how many hits would then be left to them? I often wonder, but know better than to ask why so many "taken" "collared" and "no longer interested" submissives continue maintaining profiles here, knowing what i'll get. Kindly spare me. Were i ever to collar a pretty submissive here, the removal of her profile would be something I'd want to see, as I'd not want her continually badgered, such as you all seem to be. <grin>



DINGDINGDINGDING!!!  We have a winner!  Griping about people in relationships with profiles! 

You win ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS!

Now, mgdartist, if everyone who's taken were to remove their profiles and leave the site, these forums would be you and me.  Kinda boring, no? 

But nice of you to add this gripe to the thread, we've only heard it 4 times this week.

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to mgdartist)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 6:29:28 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

I find the best revenge is to kill disrespectful people with politeness and respect.


If only that really worked. It's my experience it just encourages them to continue their ways because they have the mistaken belief that being polite just means that you are exactly what they think you are.. someone whom they can walk all over and treat like trash because you are 'just' a slave, 'just' a woman etc and a polite response is the same as consent to them. I find the block feature to be much more useful.

Celeste


Hello A/all,

I am not disagreeing with you.  We both approach this lifestyle from different sides, as well as the sociological differences in the way men and women are treated.

I was simply pointing out that I was not going to lower myself to their level.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 6:31:19 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		OK, so 'respect', 'manners' would be nice...still, I do not receive a couple of hundred emails a day, nor do I expect anyone who does to respond to them all, hell, I'ld be surprised if they actually scan them all...I think no response is essentially a response, don't you?

Besides, mine has responded to those who message her to go through me...and so far only one has bothered to and I was polite in dealing with her, but responded we weren't interested at the moment. She responded politely, all was cool...but I have the time for that shit, I get almost no messages and rarely end up on the 'other' side...

C

BTW Celeste, did you find a copy of Vasistha's Yoga ? Still strongly suggest it...

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 6:33:52 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM4POLY

It may all be due to me being a little older and having many years in the lifestyle, but it seems like many sub/slaves that I have spoken to have little or "NO" respect.Not saying that I agree with a sub/slave having to address just any DOM as sir right from the get go but please show some respect atleast acknowledge the fact he is a DOM and be curtious and if e-mailed, return a responce(get permission first!) even if it is to say you are collard or taken. "its just a matter of respect and courtesy.   Thankyou im done ranting now....LOL


The best way to deal with the disrespectful is to ignore them and to focus your attention on the individuals who do behave in a manner you find respectful. Though there may be many individuals who do not meet your expectations, ranting about them rarely does any good, and often elicits responses that reinforce the negative perceptions about individuals and the community. We cannot change others, we can only exhibit our philosophies honestly by our own behavior, and encourage those who present themselves in a way that we find acceptable, encouraging that behavior by positive reinforcement.

I've encountered a number of individuals here who exhibit a great deal of dignity and self-respect, and who are willing to be respectful of others to the full extent that they are able. The use of titles are often less crucial than the tone and content of the messages imparted, but sometimes, if we get caught up in the title, we miss opportunities to meet and interact with people who may share other key philosophies with us.

I hope that you find individuals who provide you a more positive reflection of what you seek in the future.

Da'Avatar ZWD


www.klashaan.org



_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to DOM4POLY)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 6:58:30 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DOM4POLY

It may all be due to me being a little older and having many years in the lifestyle, but it seems like many sub/slaves that I have spoken to have little or "NO" respect.Not saying that I agree with a sub/slave having to address just any DOM as sir right from the get go but please show some respect atleast acknowledge the fact he is a DOM and be curtious and if e-mailed, return a responce(get permission first!) even if it is to say you are collard or taken. "its just a matter of respect and courtesy.   Thankyou im done ranting now....LOL


Your sexual or kinky orientation entitles you to exactly jack shit from the rest of society.

Give respect and quite often you'll get respect.  Or accomplish things that earn you that respect.  But calling yourself a DOM, especially in all capital letters, doesn't help.  Anyone can call themselves by whatever title they like, or claim that their sexual orientation entitles them to special treatment from others.  Anyone else is free to disagree, or to laugh at you if they think you are being silly. 

Nobody you aren't in a consensual D/s relationship with automatically owes you anything more than normal adult courtesy in a social exchange.  Expecting that they do is not likely to have good results. 





< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 6/5/2006 7:04:03 PM >

(in reply to DOM4POLY)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:13:45 PM   
mgdartist


Posts: 328
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: irving tx
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

quote:

ORIGINAL: mgdartist

As far as those of you who complain about what your profile clearly states, as far as you being collared, taken, not looking etc....
First off, those of us who are looking might find it nice to have a search feature which eliminated you from our searches, but then one must wonder how many hits would then be left to them? I often wonder, but know better than to ask why so many "taken" "collared" and "no longer interested" submissives continue maintaining profiles here, knowing what i'll get. Kindly spare me. Were i ever to collar a pretty submissive here, the removal of her profile would be something I'd want to see, as I'd not want her continually badgered, such as you all seem to be. <grin>



DINGDINGDINGDING!!!  We have a winner!  Griping about people in relationships with profiles! 

You win ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS!

Now, mgdartist, if everyone who's taken were to remove their profiles and leave the site, these forums would be you and me.  Kinda boring, no? 

But nice of you to add this gripe to the thread, we've only heard it 4 times this week.

Yours,


benji


Please post proof of some sort that mine is indeed the 4th complaint of it's kind this week, as judging by the clique-ishness and obtuse attitudes about this place, I could have sworn not a soul had even noticed. But given your apparent skimming of what i wrote, I am beginning to see the aforementioned literacy problem here at CM since...
Actually i didn't suggest they leave the site, but a feature to remove them from the search function i did suggest. Of course i also alluded to your exaggerated idea that only you and i might be left. I actually do like that idea somewhat however, since as much time as you spend counting mufflers and whatnot, I might find myself with no competition for the few remaining free submissives...no?
Even though you might still run down the fleet of foot ones I didnt catch and pee on their leg, I'll take my big sweepstakes prize just to mollify you.
cuz you know...
i guess I'm starting to like you dawg....lol.
MGD


_____________________________



(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:22:39 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mgdartist

I often wonder, but know better than to ask why so many "taken" "collared" and "no longer interested" submissives continue maintaining profiles here, knowing what i'll get.



quote:

ORIGINAL: mgdartist

Actually i didn't suggest they leave the site, but a feature to remove them from the search function i did suggest.



I realize you did not suggest they leave, you just wondered what they could still be doing here.

I also realize my 4 times this week post was exaggerated. 

And I stubbornly refuse to limit myself to peeing on legs.  I pee on whatever I see.  So there.

Yours,


benji


_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to mgdartist)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:25:17 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mgdartist


First off, those of us who are looking might find it nice to have a search feature which eliminated you from our searches, but then one must wonder how many hits would then be left to them? I often wonder, but know better than to ask why so many "taken" "collared" and "no longer interested" submissives continue maintaining profiles here, knowing what i'll get.


Actually, having submissive individuals who are currently in working relationships here is a -good- thing for the community. Having these individuals available and active offers an opportunity for the sharing of information about what really happens in relationships. As a dominant myself, I want my servants to be active here, and to share their experiences and learn from others experiences -- both to learn new ideas about having healthy relationships, and to learn how -not- to develop unhealthy relationships.

There is a tool in place on the search feature that enables one to filter those who are not seeking someone... It is the box stating "They are seeking", which specifies the type of person that the other individual is looking for, and filters out those who are not seeking anything but friendship by specifying that you are looking for people who are seeking a dominant, either male, female or both (or a submissive or a trans, or whatever).

Knowing how to use the tools is half the battle.

Da'Avatar ZWD


www.klashaan.org

_____________________________


"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to mgdartist)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:27:56 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

Actually, having submissive individuals who are currently in working relationships here is a -good- thing for the community. Having these individuals available and active offers an opportunity for the sharing of information about what really happens in relationships. As a dominant myself, I want my servants to be active here, and to share their experiences and learn from others experiences -- both to learn new ideas about having healthy relationships, and to learn how -not- to develop unhealthy relationships.

There is a tool in place on the search feature that enables one to filter those who are not seeking someone... It is the box stating "They are seeking", which specifies the type of person that the other individual is looking for, and filters out those who are not seeking anything but friendship by specifying that you are looking for people who are seeking a dominant, either male, female or both (or a submissive or a trans, or whatever).

Knowing how to use the tools is half the battle.



Oh LadiesBladewing,

Well said.  It goes to show what people can do when they don't only throw around sarcasm, like a certain puppy in these forums. 

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:31:39 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mgdartist

Of course i also alluded to your exaggerated idea that only you and i might be left. I actually do like that idea somewhat however, since as much time as you spend counting mufflers and whatnot, I might find myself with no competition for the few remaining free submissives...no?

MGD



There is a thread where all of  the "free" submissives outed themselves. You may want to go look there. 'Course it was a few days ago and some may be taken by now, but a few may still be available.

Just trying to be helpful!

(in reply to mgdartist)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:34:41 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mgdartist
First off, those of us who are looking might find it nice to have a search feature which eliminated you from our searches,


They actually DO have this...it's called hide profile. As for how many are left, it kind of depends on where you live and how many you tick off with rude and overly broad generalizations.

I personally LIKE having collered subs and non-poly dominants with collared subs around. I would rather meet and talk to others that are currently "making it work" than the newbie "expert" any day. Bitching because girls aren't flocking to newbie and kind of rude "doms" just shows me that these girls have taste and standards. The airheaded bow to anyone girls are down the hall at doms-r-us in the blow up asile.

Good luck with what you seek...ymmv.

(in reply to LadiesBladewing)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:40:16 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		Just cause this got me off on a rant...respect is something that's earned. Being a peckerwood and slapping a title of lord high poobah sir domly dom only tells the girls they need to run like hell.

Being a jerk and ranting about how I AM A DOMINANT you will bow to MEEEE you will answer every spam email I send out regardless of what your master instructs you will bow to me and call me sir just serves to accomplish the results you're getting...alone.

You get what you give.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/5/2006 7:44:18 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterRenegade77

I show respect to A/all unless I'm disrespected, After that All's Fair...



I have to agree with that. generally I'll start people off with 100% (100 points) and deduct them according to attitude and what else I see. The folks I may appear to to be rude to are often enough close enough friends where i know i can throw shyte at in fun.... I'd rather be on reasonable speaking terms with everyone even if I think privately they are not the full quid. I don't know them and in any case they are a living species and in my world deserve some respect and courtesy untill they have proved to me that they no longer deserve that. At which case my willingness to resopond to them is severly lowered.  It boils back to the basics with me. I don't have to agree with you and I dont have to even like you but untill you prove to me that you become unworthy in my eyes I'll defend your rights.


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MasterRenegade77)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/6/2006 2:55:08 AM   
fldrkhorse


Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		WOW..such posts under the heading of respect and courtesy.

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/6/2006 2:57:41 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I unzipped my pants, at least they could get on their knees.


You are too funny!

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/6/2006 4:04:55 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Courtesy and respect go both ways. But when holding a conversation or writing an email to a new Dom during my search i only gave them the same respect i would give anyone i was speaking with. Even now that i am collared the only Dom/Domme i address as Sir or Ma'am is my own. They may be a Dom but not to me, being a Dom does not entitle them to special treatment. 

When emailing a Dom/Domme to say hi or i liked your post etc, i always show them common courtesy and include in the 1st line the fact that i am collared. When receiving an email from a Dom/Domme who is not known to my house i always send them an email directing them to follow proper protocol and speak to one of my owners first. Neither of my owners has an issue with me speaking to whom i wish as long as the one doing the contacting asks first. This does not apply to other subs/slaves who write me nor to Dom/Dommes i contact 1st, as this implies i have permission. 

I have to bring up the fact that many others already have; many here do not read profiles before contacting a sub/slave, if they did they would be aware of the fact that i am owned and seek my owner’s permission before contacting me.

So I would have to say respect needs to go both ways, sadly here on CM much like the vanilla world common courtesy and good manners seems to be a dying art.


_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to DOM4POLY)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/6/2006 4:05:14 PM   
kittenFC


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

I unzipped my pants, at least they could get on their knees.


All the easier to use the magnifying glass.


lol just spit DR.Pepper all over the computer.

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: "Respect and courtesy" - 6/6/2006 4:13:56 PM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		I imagine we all have our own idea of what constitutes "respect".  I think it's deserved regardless of one's sexual preference, lifestyle choice, etc.

For me, courtesy is given and expected.  Sometimes I might growl, but I rarely bite out of anger.  Rude people of all kinds annoy me, almost as much as catching myself being rude.

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to glidewynd)
Profile   Post #: 60
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